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griffin123 · Oct 17, 2013, 05:10 PM

Hi! I see you guys are good at answering difficult question relating to girls... help me on this one.
I'm 19and she's 18 I started dating her on February during last year of high school.
And its been 8months from now. And everything was going well.until she found out that she might lose one of her family member... and we've only had 2lil arguments last week. And I ask her what does she think about this relationship.. she replied "I don't know".she also so mention she's not looking for a serious relationship (me either).But we both care for one another a lot. But its not a reason to leave what we have all because of confusion... what does it mean "I don't know, let me think about it "?
She's said she likes me a lot and its not the fact she lost interest in me... I just think she's stuck and doesn't know what to do with what going on with her (<----not accepting the lost)

Please help me !

What should I do as a boyfriend and friend

Wondergirl · Oct 17, 2013, 05:17 PM

First thing to do is stop annoying her with comments and questions about your relationship. Her mind is elsewhere right now. Just be as supportive and as helpful as you can be without driving her crazy.

griffin123 · Oct 17, 2013, 05:34 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

First thing to do is stop annoying her with comments and questions about your relationship. Her mind is elsewhere right now. Just be as supportive and as helpful as you can be without driving her crazy.

You're completely right about that... how do I tell her that I understand she has too much in her plate ,and how I don't want to be a burden .

Please give me more advise life before It really lights me up.

Wondergirl · Oct 17, 2013, 05:42 PM

Originally Posted by griffin123

You're completely right about that... how do I tell her that I understand she has too much in her plate ,and how I don't want to be a burden .

Please give me more advise life before It really lights me up.

You don't have to tell her those things. Just BE those things. Be available if she wants to talk and just BE empathetic (do you know what that means?) -- don't talk-talk-talk, but let her talk and just hold her hand or give her a hug or echo her feelings. Don't BE a burden by demanding anything or acting needy. BE available but also have your own life so that you can have conversations with her about interesting things that are going on with you.

griffin123 · Oct 17, 2013, 05:59 PM

But don't you think I should at least tell her I'm there for her first... because she's at mtl right now for 3days and I think shesthinking about it tthere.(I'm afraid that shell dump me because she's confused.

Wondergirl · Oct 17, 2013, 06:01 PM

Originally Posted by griffin123

But don't you think I should at least tell her I'm there for her first... because she's at mtl right now for 3days and I think shesthinking about it tthere.(I'm afraid that shell dump me because she's confused.

What's mtl?

Doesn't she already know you are there for her?

griffin123 · Oct 17, 2013, 06:07 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

What's mtl?

Doesn't she already know you are there for her?

Sorry :s... mtl means Montreal

Yes she does... I just don't know what to do in this situation

I don't want her to breakup because she's confused... *Btw: its our first relationship*

Wondergirl · Oct 17, 2013, 06:11 PM

Originally Posted by griffin123

Sorry :s... mtl means Montreal

Yes she does... I just don't know what to do in this situation

Thanks.

If I were you, I would just live my life while she's gone. Swamping her with affection and how you feel will turn her off for sure, methinks. Just be a normal guy when you see her again.

griffin123 · Oct 17, 2013, 06:21 PM

You're such agood help right now wonder girl. I was thinking about doing that .

Do you think I should bring her to a movie(comedy) to act normal since its not a talking place. Then act normal . Until she mention it ? And not tell her about our efdection but more about her?

The thing is she's isn't good in talking about what she feels .

Wondergirl · Oct 17, 2013, 06:28 PM

Originally Posted by griffin123

The thing is she's isn't good in talking about what she feels .

So don't pupt her in a position to feel obliged to talk about her feelings.

If she likes to go to movies, ask her what she would like to see. Or borrow a DVD from the library and watch that while eating pizza. Just be relaxing and casual and fun to be around. But don't try to "cheer her up" and make light of any sad feelings she may have.

griffin123 · Oct 17, 2013, 06:51 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So don't pupt her in a position to feel obliged to talk about her feelings.
If she likes to go to movies, ask her what she would like to see. Or borrow a DVD from the library and watch that while eating pizza. Just be relaxing and casual and fun to be around. But don't try to "cheer her up" and make light of any sad feelings she may have.

What do you mean by that?

Wondergirl · Oct 17, 2013, 07:13 PM

Originally Posted by griffin123

What do you mean by that?

Let her guide you. If she asks you to cheer her up, then do so. But don't treat her like an emotional basketcase. Just be normal. And let her be who she is and then you be empathetic and go with the flow no matter what face she puts on.

griffin123 · Oct 17, 2013, 07:16 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Let her guide you. If she asks you to cheer her up, then do so. But don't treat her like an emotional basketcase. Just be normal. And let her be who she is and then you be empathetic and go with the flow no matter what face she puts on.

Ohh okay .I get it .thank you very much.. I'll let you know what goes on after:)

Wondergirl · Oct 17, 2013, 07:19 PM

Originally Posted by griffin123

Ohh okay .I get it .thank you very much.. I'll let you know what goes on after:)

I'll be waiting right here. ;)

griffin123 · Oct 18, 2013, 09:13 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I'll be waiting right here. ;)

Is it a good thing or a bad thing? if she texted me. At 1:30am "I really miss you already,..I don't know what to do.,..."
What can I say ?

Wondergirl · Oct 18, 2013, 09:17 AM

Originally Posted by griffin123

Is it a good thing or a bad thing? if she texted me. At 1:30am "I really miss you already,..I don't know what to do.,..."
What can I say ?

Did you reply?

griffin123 · Oct 18, 2013, 09:20 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Did you reply?

Yes I did . "i miss you too..Its reasonable why you're confused....but know this ,I'll always BE here for you "
Was that good?

Wondergirl · Oct 18, 2013, 09:22 AM

Originally Posted by griffin123

Yes I did . "i miss you too..Its reasonable why you're confused....but know this ,I'll always BE here for you "
Was that good?

Did she reply? If not, she was probably just checking that you were awake and available.

griffin123 · Oct 18, 2013, 09:25 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Did she reply? If not, she was probably just checking that you were awake and available.

I texted her at 9o'clock . Was that a bad thing?
She probably didn't answer because she's still sleeping

talaniman · Oct 18, 2013, 09:35 AM

How has her ill family member doing? That appears to be your main issues as she is distracted and distraught, and you are needy and insensitive, and very selfish.