[Iwantscarlette]

My friend wants to give me her baby, she is due in 5 weeks, what do I do to make it happen?

[joypulv]

What country, what state?
Adoption is a more costly and lengthly process than guardianship.
If I were you, I would do the latter for the first several years.

[ScottGem]

A child is not something one can give.

First the father has to agree. You need an attorney to prepare an adoption petition. The court will want to make sure you will be good parents.

So the first thing you do is hire an attorney.

[Iwantscarlette]

What is latter?

[Iwantscarlette]

I live in California. What is the latter thing you were talking about?

[N0help4u]

Latter - guardianship before the adoption.

[Iwantscarlette]

Is that easy to do? Where do I go to start the process? I really want this to happen, I can't have children of my own!!

[ScottGem]

Guardianship would be easier, but again, where is the father in this.

Bottom line is you get an attorney to make sure everything is done legal.

[Iwantscarlette]

The dad doesn't want the baby.
So can I get guardianship and the go to adoption? How long does it take to get guardianship?
Where do I go to get a lawyer? She is due in 5 weeks?

[Synnen]

Whoa.

Back up a step here.

You cannot do this like you think you can. First of all, your friend can change her mind at ANY point before she signs relinquishment papers. The father must ALSO sign relinquishment papers. Relinquishing rights for an adoption has to happen in COURT--parents can't just say "here, have my baby".

You need a family law attorney. You find one in the phone book. You will also be paying attorney fees for both biological parents and for the guardian ad litem for the child--essentially, you'll be paying for 4 lawyers. You must also pass a home study in many states to be able to adopt--your attorney will walk you through what you need to do.

You probably aren't going to be able to do this in 5 weeks, but that's okay. If your friend chooses to allow you to adopt after the child is born, then you can have her bring the child to you and set up a legal guardianship (ALSO through your attorney). Luckily, CA allows single parent adoptions. However, if you are married, your husband (or wife) must ALSO approve of the adoption.

I hope you are aware that this will cost you THOUSANDS of dollars in legal fees and medical fees--for sure for the baby and possibly for the mother as well.

[AK lawyer]

What is latter?

Two things happen, or are referred to, one after the other.

The first thing is "the former". In this thread, guardianship.

The second thing is "the latter", here adoption.

[Synnen]

PS--You may also be liable for paying for counseling for the birthmother, either before or after (or both) the adoption. Relinquishing, even if you are SURE it is the best choice, is one of the hardest things for a mother to do. It wouldn't hurt for you to get counseling as well so that you are aware of all of the issues you will be dealing with: birthparent feelings and rights, your rights and feelings toward an adoptive child (especially since you cannot have your own; I really hope you have received extensive counseling to deal with your infertility already), and the feelings and issues your child will stem from having been adopted. You need to have your eyes WIDE open about what kind of experience this will be, because you will have to be honest with your child about his or her origins.

Please please please do not just jump into this without hiring an attorney and educating yourself about adoption.

[AK lawyer]

... You will also be paying attorney fees for both biological parents and for the guardian ad litem for the child--essentially, you'll be paying for 4 lawyers. ...

I don't know about that; requiring that the biological parents have attorneys. Is that required in California? Also, I don't believe that a GAL is required in most states.

[Iwantscarlette]

What's a GAL

[ScottGem]

Guardian ad liteum

The court will appoint someone to represent the child's interests.

As I said previously a child is not property that can be given away. This has to be done through the courts and there is a lot that has to go on. That's why you need a lawyer.

[Iwantscarlette]

So if I don't get things done in 5 weeks but I start the process can I still take her home after she is born since my friend wants me to adopt her

[ScottGem]

We can't answer that as it will be up to a court. But it is a possibility.

[Synnen]

Actually I'm not sure about biological parents needing an attorney in CA, but I do know it's required in some states, especially if the biological parents are underage, and especially with agency adoptions. Someone needs to represent the interests of the biological parents and inform them of their rights so that they understand what they are relinquishing. Some states may have the judge do that--my adoption was in WI, and we ALL had attorneys.

IwantScarlette---you NEED a lawyer. You need someone to walk you through all of the local laws and show you what paperwork you need and what steps you have to take to get this done where you are. An adoption cannot happen until the child is born, but you can start the steps before then and SHOULD start some of the steps before then.

[N0help4u]

Two things happen, or are referred to, one after the other.

The first thing is "the former". In this thread, guardianship.

The second thing is "the latter", here adoption.

. Op is referring to joy reply. Joy meant latter as to title of op's post