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stilli98 · Aug 25, 2013, 10:54 AM

Is it wrong for a female to maturbate to erotica

Wondergirl · Aug 25, 2013, 11:13 AM

Do you belong to any particular church/denomination? Many say masturbation is a bad thing. I know it can become "bad" if it takes over your life and affects other aspects -- keeps you from interacting with family and friends, gets in the way of your daily work, becomes an obsession even. It's good to know how your body works. God has given us each a remarkable one. To my way of thinking, masturbation allows a person, especially a female, to figure out what pleases and what doesn't. Later, when she finds a lifetime partner, it will strengthen their union if she is able to communicate her sexual needs to him (and he is able to do the same to her).

dwashbur · Aug 25, 2013, 12:40 PM

The Bible never addresses masturbation in either gender, so it's purely your decision. The big question, if you're using erotica, is "what's in your mind?" If the erotica is just a stimulus and you're not actually imagining being in the scene, I see no problem, as long as you keep things under control as WG said. If you actually are imagining being part of the action, that might be a problem, since Jesus said that looking at someone lustfully is the same as adultery. But if you're able to keep your mind from going there, then what you do on your own time is your own business and nobody else's.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 26, 2013, 01:15 AM

You did not say where you live, what type of Christian belief you have. Many women masturbate and most churches do not have any rules on it, or against it.

classyT · Aug 26, 2013, 06:26 AM

Fr_Chuck and WG,

Wow. We sure see things differently. I couldn't give two hoots about what some church considers right or wrong. My authority has never been from some institution with man made regulations. It is either right according to God or it isn't. And no church can decide that for you. But that is just me.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 26, 2013, 06:28 AM

Do not really see anything in bible against it, but society installs values of right and wrong on people. People learn or believe what is right and wrong by where they live.

if they live in a middle east society, it would be wrong.

classyT · Aug 26, 2013, 06:32 AM

The answer is smack dab in the bible. Dave is correct, this topic is not directly addressed. However the Apostle Paul clears up all gray areas by saying: Whatever is not done by faith is sin.

Therefore, if you can't do this in faith with a good conscience, it is a sin for you.

Wondergirl · Aug 26, 2013, 06:34 AM

Originally Posted by classyT

Fr_Chuck and WG,

Wow. We sure see things differently. I couldn't give two hoots about what some church considers right or wrong. My authority has never been from some institution with man made regulations. It is either right according to God or it isn't. And no church can decide that for you. But that is just me.

Just because a church body forbids it doesn't mean the church members refrain from doing it. Even babies explore their bodies and discover what is pleasurable. As far as I know, most of the fundamentalist and conservative church bodies forbid masturbation, or at least frown on it -- mostly because it is seen as leading to "Onan's sin" or as catering to the Self.

There is no mention of it, per se, in the Bible. It is considered an adiaphoron (a matter of indifference; left to conscience; an amoral matter).

Wondergirl · Aug 26, 2013, 06:36 AM

Originally Posted by classyT

Therefore, if you can't do this in faith with a good conscience, it is a sin for you.

Hos does one masturbate "in faith"? Read Song of Solomon?

classyT · Aug 26, 2013, 06:44 AM

WG,

Like I said. I don't give two hoots about what a church says about what is sin or isn't. My authority is the bible.

I read song of Solomon. I don't see the connection. Please explain.

How do you do it by faith? Like you do anything else. Take going to an R rated movie. Certainly that topic isn't in the NT. If I can go watch it not be the least bit uncomfortable and my conscience isn't pricked. I'm good. I have faith that what I am doing is fine with my Lord.

However I know many people wouldn't dream of going. They believe to their core it is wrong. For them... it is.

Wondergirl · Aug 26, 2013, 06:47 AM

Originally Posted by classyT

I read song of Solomon. I don't see the connection. please explain.

It's the most erotic book in the Bible.

joypulv · Aug 26, 2013, 07:06 AM

The OP asked a question under Christianity that isn't spelled out in the Bible.
This discussion can go on forever!
Christianity has huge variety all over the world.
I personally can't see any harm to the world by masturbating to erotica.

As for the subject of Onan, that was about Onan refusing to help his brother's wife have children by having sex with her, a cultural requirement of the time.
(Genesis 38:9) - "And Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so it came about that when he went in to his brother's wife, he wasted his seed on the ground, in order not to give offspring to his brother."

Not suggesting that anyone here subscribes to 'Onan's sin;' just going back to the source. Onan was killed by God for NOT having sex with his brother's wife, not for masturbating!

(More reason to not try to apply every single word in the Bible to today's Christian ideas of right and wrong.)

classyT · Aug 26, 2013, 07:18 AM

Joy,

I get what you are saying. The passage isn't about masturbation though. It was about this guy using her for sex and making sure he didn't get her pregnant. God was displeased with what he did. AND that doesn't mean to withdrawl during sex is a sin. This is all about motive and self serving behavior.

I think we can use the bible as our authority of right and wrong. And I think I gave the verse to use in all circumstances when a person is unsure. If you can't do it by faith, it is a sin for you.

Wondergirl · Aug 26, 2013, 07:18 AM

Originally Posted by joypulv

(Genesis 38:9) - "And Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so it came about that when he went in to his brother's wife, he wasted his seed on the ground, in order not to give offspring to his brother."

(More reason to not try to apply every single word in the Bible to today's Christian ideas of right and wrong.)

Exactly! But some church bodies say it is a forbidden masturbation because Onan intended to foil God. Thus masturbation got a bad rep.

classyT · Aug 26, 2013, 07:21 AM

WG,

He didn't masturbate. This had nothing to do with masturbation. The passage is about deception, motive, selfish behavior and defiance towards God.

In my opinion this is NOT how masturbation got a bad rap. Oh I know people point to this passage but it is ignorance.

Want to know where masturbation got it's bad rap? By the person doing it and how they felt afterwards. By their own conscience, by what they were thinking, by lust. No one would even question whether it was right or wrong if they could do it without lusting. I really believe that. This is why a child has no guilt... that kid isn't lusting. That is my take.

joypulv · Aug 26, 2013, 07:33 AM

His selfishness was in not giving his brother children, not in 'using her for sex.'

Wondergirl · Aug 26, 2013, 07:36 AM

Originally Posted by classyT

WG,

He didn't masturbate. This had nothing to do with masturbation. The passage is about deception, motive, selfish behavior and defiance towards God.

I am saying that some church bodies use that as their reason for not masturbating. You don't have to convince ME.

Please read this carefully and completely --

The Straight Dope: What exactly was the sin of Onan?

dwashbur · Aug 26, 2013, 07:42 AM

In my opinion this is NOT how masturbation got a bad rap.

Church history, and especially the writings of the "Fathers," says differently. Onan is almost entirely what their arguments are based on, and to this day I have people trying to throw that story at me as an argument against masturbation. I'm afraid you're giving the Christian Church a little too much credit.

classyT · Aug 26, 2013, 07:48 AM

Dave,

Ok. But just because churches have said it doesn't make it right. Like I have already stated. I don't give two hoots about what MAN thinks... only God.

I do think people have lots of guilt over it. I don't think the guilt comes from church. Sorry. Plenty of non church goers have guilt. I think it is because of their thoughts during the act. Their conscience bothers them.

Joy,

Well I disagree. All he had to do was not have sex with her. The result would have been the same. He deceived her, God, his family. Instead he had sex, had a little fun, and pulled out before the deed was all done. And I think THAT is what ticked God off.

joypulv · Aug 26, 2013, 08:02 AM

Originally Posted by classyT

Joy,

well I disagree. All he had to do was not have sex with her. The result would have been the same. He deceived her, God, his family. Instead he had sex, had a little fun, and pulled out before the deed was all done. And I think THAT is what ticked God off.

I suppose. We will never know what he was thinking, given that he was forced to marry her. Deception is certainly key here. I think it's more about the lack of a male heir for his brother, rather than having fun or spilling seed.

As for how we develop shame for masturbating, that does get handed down by adults, who get it from religion.
In pre-Christian Rome, for example, men openly masturbated when a pretty woman strutted her stuff.