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Inaya · Mar 25, 2013, 11:21 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Stay busy with friends, hobbies, work, school, other activities.

Please stop opening new threads. You know how AMHD works, how to ask and read the responses.

You are being rude.. I am using it just for the second time.. I didn't know if I had opened a new thread.. Ur advice was useless

odinn7 · Mar 25, 2013, 11:29 AM

Originally Posted by Inaya

You are being rude.. I am using it just for the second time.. I didnt know if i had opened a new thread.. Ur advice was useless

And you opening a new question to ask pretty much the same thing is useless as well. You already asked this once and got plenty of answers that you didn't care to hear... asking again isn't going to change anything.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/one-sided-love-738815.html

Again... you can't make someone love you. He told you he's not interested so it's time to forget about him and move on.

JudyKayTee · Mar 25, 2013, 11:36 AM

Actually you've posted seven times before, not once. If you want me to be rude I could mention that you changed the circumstances to fit the answers - arranged marriage/not arranged marriage; pressure from parents/not pressure from parents. You don't want advice. You just want to feel sorry for yourself and be confrontational.

I gave you good ideas - stay busy in various ways. What else do you think anyone can say that will help you? You can't make someone love you. We can't make someone love you.

There is no relationship with "him."

He told you he doesn't want to be with you. He doesn't love you. You need to move on.

You say you "wanna" die if you can't have him - you need help, professional help, because he has become an obsession for you.

kg14 · Mar 25, 2013, 11:38 AM

Having feelings for someone that doesn't reciprocate your feelings is very hard to get over. I've been in the same situation multiple times, and it sucks. But I'm not going to tell you that there's an exact way to get over him. The only thing that can heal you is time and a busy schedule.
What made it so difficult for me to get over someone like this was knowing everything about him and getting to know him as a person. But no matter what, you're friends should always be your friends. So, you should learn to be happy for his choices and he should be happy for yours. Something really strange that happened to me was the boy I liked for so long got a girlfriend. I thought I would hate that feeling, but it made me realize that he wasn't thinking about me as much as I was thinking about him, so I was able to move on a lot faster. Plus, I saw how he acted with his girlfriend, and I would not want to be in her place. Some people are meant to be friends, some are meant to be more, but you never know until you try, and you did. Stop contemplating the "what if" and try to find someone new. Or just spend time with your friends and family. 8)

Inaya · Mar 25, 2013, 11:59 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Actually you've posted seven times before, not once. If you want me to be rude I could mention that you changed the circumstances to fit the answers - arranged marriage/not arranged marriage; pressure from parents/not pressure from parents. You don't want advice. You just want to feel sorry for yourself and be confrontational.

I gave you good ideas - stay busy in various ways. What else do you think anyone can say that will help you? You can't make someone love you. We can't make someone love you.

There is no relationship with "him."

He told you he doesn't want to be with you. He doesn't love you. You need to move on.

You say you "wanna" die if you can't have him - you need help, professional help, because he has become an obsession for you.

Listen, I am sorry that I opened a new thread.. Frankly speaking, I don't know about this thing.. New thread or old thread.. That day wn I got advice frm u, I felt very much relieved.. Jst today only, I again started having sinking feeling.. I didn't know whom to talk.. Then I thought of AMHD.. So posted my question, thinking that I wl get some good advice.. I really didn't know, that I had to post it on the same thread..
If I said that your advice didn't help me, you started saying that I'm obsessed.. This I also know that I shd keep myself busy.. Bt the thing is I am not being able to concentrate on anything.. N let me tel u, I am also a doctor

Originally Posted by kg14

Having feelings for someone that doesn't reciprocate your feelings is very hard to get over. I've been in the same situation multiple times, and it sucks. But I'm not going to tell you that there's an exact way to get over him. The only thing that can heal you is time and a busy schedule.
What made it so difficult for me to get over someone like this was knowing everything about him and getting to know him as a person. But no matter what, you're friends should always be your friends. So, you should learn to be happy for his choices and he should be happy for yours. Something really strange that happened to me was the boy I liked for so long got a girlfriend. I thought I would hate that feeling, but it made me realize that he wasn't thinking about me as much as I was thinking about him, so I was able to move on a lot faster. Plus, I saw how he acted with his girlfriend, and I would not want to be in her place. Some people are meant to be friends, some are meant to be more, but you never know until you try, and you did. Stop contemplating the "what if" and try to find someone new. Or just spend time with your friends and family. 8)

Thanks kg for your advice.. But the thing is I'm an happy when I am at my job but as soon as my job is over, his thoughts start filling up my mind.. I am not being able to concentrate on anything..

JudyKayTee · Mar 25, 2013, 12:29 PM

You are not the only Physician in the World who has spoken to another Physician about mental and physical health problems. You were told you are obsessed on your other thread - it's no big news to you.

You're a Physician and your parents are pressuring you to marry, bringing you matches every day? I'm amazed that good matches for Physicians are available on a daily basis. Where in India are you?

Inaya · Mar 25, 2013, 12:41 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

You are not the only Physician in the World who has spoken to another Physician about mental and physical health problems. You were told you are obsessed on your other thread - it's no big news to you.

You're a Physician and your parents are pressuring you to marry, bringing you matches every day? I'm amazed that good matches for Physicians are available on a daily basis. Where in India are you?

I am from Illinois.. U hv gone mad

JudyKayTee · Mar 25, 2013, 12:48 PM

I simply do not believe that a Physician in the US cannot spell and resorts to text speak AND has her parents bringing her likely candidates for marriage on a daily basis.

I further do not believe that an educated woman would have such lack of control over herself that she would call another woman "mad."

Inaya · Mar 25, 2013, 12:54 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I simply do not believe that a Physician in the US cannot spell and resorts to text speak AND has her parents bringing her likely candidates for marriage on a daily basis.

Then don't believe.. That's not my problem.. U cannot be a physician.. This I am sure, the way u are handling all this..

JudyKayTee · Mar 26, 2013, 08:04 AM

I never said I'm a Physician. Where did you get that from?

Inaya · Mar 26, 2013, 08:29 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I never said I'm a Physician. Where did you get that from?

You are not the only Physician in the World who has spoken to another Physician about mental and physical health problems.. Remember your these lines?

Wondergirl · Mar 26, 2013, 08:43 AM

Originally Posted by Inaya

I am from illinois.. U hv gone mad

I too am from Illinois. Where in Illinois are you?

Originally Posted by Inaya

You are not the only Physician in the World who has spoken to another Physician about mental and physical health problems.. Remember ur these lines?

Judy meant that it would be no shame for a physician to speak with another physician about mental problems resulting from a failed relationship. She did not say she is a physician.

Inaya · Mar 26, 2013, 09:01 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I too am from Illinois. Where in Illinois are you?

Peoria

Wondergirl · Mar 26, 2013, 09:22 AM

Originally Posted by Inaya

Peoria

Cool! I'll have to drive down there and eat samosas with you. Peoria has a tiny Indian population.

nccaitlin91 · Mar 26, 2013, 12:26 PM

Have you talked to this guy about your feelings? He may feel the same way as you. If you don't ask you may never know and live with regret.Respect his feelings and try to move on if he just wants to be friends. There is someone out there for you, and if he is not it then just know it is someone better for you!

JudyKayTee · Mar 26, 2013, 01:35 PM

"You are not the only Physician in the World who has spoken to another Physician about mental and physical health problems.. Remember ur these lines?"

You've been asked repeatedly not to use text speak.

How are you possibly interpreting what I said to indicate that I am a Physician - or am pretending to be a Physician.

garboozle · Mar 26, 2013, 04:03 PM

Don't try to change. Keep loving someone, even if it's one sided. The heart wants what it wants. I'm utterly in love with someone who doesn't love me but that doesn't deter me because being with her is what I REALLY want to do and I can't picture being with someone else. Think of how happy you will be if you guys end up together.

JudyKayTee · Mar 26, 2013, 06:26 PM

When a person wants to die if she can't be with another person it's gone way too far. Garboozle, your advice concerns me because of your conflicting posts.

Here your "girlfriend" is not and then is a lesbian - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...er-738983.html

Spending your life suffering an unrequited love does not seem to be working for you.

garboozle · Mar 26, 2013, 08:47 PM

That MAY have been a miscommunication. Someone told me she was with her girlfriend but girls refer to girls who are friends as "girlfriend" all the time. Let's keep this conversation about the OP though. Unrequited love can actually be a very beautiful and inspiring thing. I say go for it because there is always the chance it will work out.

talaniman · Mar 26, 2013, 08:51 PM

Originally Posted by garboozle

That MAY have been a miscommunication. Someone told me she was with her girlfriend but girls refer to girls who are friends as "girlfriend" all the time. Let's keep this convo about the OP though. Unrequited love can actually be a very beautiful and inspiring thing. I say go for it because there is always the chance it will work out.

Why would you wish someone be as twisted as you are? Oh that's right, you don't believe you are twisted.