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    Mariam-z1's Avatar
    Mariam-z1 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 29, 2013, 01:45 PM
    Help did I lose him forever?
    I know this guy for more than 2 years. We been good friend I always had feeling for him. But somehow I never told him. We slept together in the same bed and nothing happen which both are us are shocked when both of us wanted each other. I try to stop my feeling for him as I know he is a playa, and on New Year we actually kissed. We did not keep in contact since his lost his phone but we kept seeing each other at work, and last Saturday he actually admit he had a thing for me and never said anything as we became to close as a friend and he thought this way will be better, and we were supposed to meet again before we could even met I told him me and him it can never happen he even though I want it and he simply said me to I was thinking the I had to stop it before my feeling grew more and now he is acting distant did I lose him for good?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Jan 29, 2013, 02:14 PM
    I'm not sure you "lost him forever." I don't think you ever "had" him. It seems that you were good friends, and that's how you both decided the relationship works best.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Jan 29, 2013, 06:20 PM
    You told him that you were not interested, that is not losing him , that is dumping him
    Mariam-z1's Avatar
    Mariam-z1 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jan 29, 2013, 08:52 PM
    But I am scared my feeling get deeper I don't want my heart broken, why all the times if I am talking to a guy he comes to me and swear to me that he's jealous?
    marq123's Avatar
    marq123 Posts: 47, Reputation: 5
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    #5

    Jan 29, 2013, 10:54 PM
    Just tell him how you really feel... otherwise you can keep going on in life wondering what if? All relationships are a gamble... if you never put yourself out there then you'll never know and you will always be alone. If you end upgetting hurt in the process then that is the price you have to take. You live and you learn. It's a choice you have to make. Nobody can make this decision for you. I am sure you didn't lose him forever...
    Mariam-z1's Avatar
    Mariam-z1 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jan 30, 2013, 06:48 AM
    How can I tell him my feeling when I told him I missed him yesterday he said him as well then I said it feel weird and he just say to me to control it as he feel the same but he is just thinking about our friendship ? I cannot tell him how I feel
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #7

    Jan 30, 2013, 06:58 AM
    Of course he said it felt weird - you are the one who told him it wouldn't work. You are all over the place. Maybe he is too. Ask him if you can go for a walk and have a real talk. Too much cute coy game playing and not enough heart and soul.
    Mariam-z1's Avatar
    Mariam-z1 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Jan 30, 2013, 07:38 AM
    I was the one who said it felt weird am just to scared to be heart broken as we work together
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #9

    Jan 30, 2013, 10:52 AM
    If you are asking what you should do I advise you to first get over the fear of being hurt. Relationships are always a risk, and if you never take a chance, you never have a chance.

    Which hurts more, never trying, or trying and failing?

    ANSWER- They both hurt.
    Mariam-z1's Avatar
    Mariam-z1 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Jan 31, 2013, 10:15 AM
    He's not even answering my text message:/
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #11

    Jan 31, 2013, 10:22 AM
    Don't trip, relax, go for a walk, get your nails done. Do something that makes you feel good and enjoy yourself.
    Mariam-z1's Avatar
    Mariam-z1 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Jan 31, 2013, 12:26 PM
    Yes:) but it will feel awkward when I will see him tomorrow at work now I know he's not interested
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #13

    Jan 31, 2013, 12:41 PM
    There is no cure for "awkward."
    Mariam-z1's Avatar
    Mariam-z1 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Jan 31, 2013, 02:17 PM
    Ta.
    marq123's Avatar
    marq123 Posts: 47, Reputation: 5
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    #15

    Jan 31, 2013, 02:56 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Mariam-z1 View Post
    He's not even answering my text message:/
    Well, don't blow him up or anything thing... try and talk to him at work and see if you can set some time aside and talk.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #16

    Jan 31, 2013, 03:30 PM
    Miriam, I'd back off and stop even appearing to be chasing him. Leave him alone and let him decide his next step.

    If you have to "hound" him into contacting you, and that includes texting, calling, confronting, you'll never know if being with you is his choice or not. I'd step back - and that includes talking to him about your relationship.

    I think you've talked it to death. See what he does if given the chance.

    - and please let us know how it works out.

    (This is the reason workplace relationships are never a good idea.)
    Mariam-z1's Avatar
    Mariam-z1 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #17

    Jan 31, 2013, 05:08 PM
    I'll let you know tomorrow after work how it went ;) And thanks this is what I will do I'll step back to see the reaction I'll act normal like I usually do!
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #18

    Jan 31, 2013, 06:26 PM
    After all of these posts you ended up saying it best - act normal!

    Let us know what happens.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #19

    Jan 31, 2013, 07:12 PM
    I agree , his not answering is him saying he's not interested... so best thing to do is not pursue what he doesn't want... it will only end ugly if you do.

    This is EXACTLY why you don't fool around with people you work with... EVER. I've never seen one that didn't work out turn out well in over 32 years working. At best someone had to quit... at worst I've seen the police involved and BOTH fired.
    ArmstrongMiller's Avatar
    ArmstrongMiller Posts: 164, Reputation: -1
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    #20

    Jan 31, 2013, 11:43 PM
    NO, you can catch him back~best wishes.

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