Check out some similar questions!

Lucas King · Dec 28, 2012, 03:39 PM

Hi guys, I have a problem and I know one of you can help me out. I've been dating my girl for about 2 years 6 months now. She didn't cheat or do anything to me. But I just got this weird feeling that she's not into me anymore, like things she's been doing lately seems like she doesn't care anymore. You see now the year its almost over, and she once said to me, she want to start a year with new things. I don't really get her point. But I think maybe she found someone else and she wants to leave me but don't know how. So please guys I'm just trying here, but I'm always stressed. I don't really want to leave her but just want to feel better. Please Help me out. :(

dontknownuthin · Dec 28, 2012, 04:58 PM

Well, the thing is, two years plus into a relationship you need to start talking openly about these things if you haven't already established that level of honesty in the relationship. Just ask her, "what did you mean when you said that you want to experience new things? Does that mean you want to experience new things together, or did it mean something else?"

She might just be bored in her own life and want to shake things up, and if you're game for a bit of adventure, you could join her in the effort. But if what she means is she wants to experience dating someone else, well, just accept that this is where she's at in her experience and stage of life - it's nothing bad about you, but it would mean that you need to move on, too.

I think though, to determine whether you want to break up with her, you need to understand the answers to your questions, which you can learn only from her.

eMiLy002 · Dec 28, 2012, 05:19 PM

Maybe if you spend a bit more time with her and if you feel that she's not that into you break up with her slowly tell her that you don't think she's into you and everything and maybe you will still get to be friends of even better you still might be her girlfriend if she says that she loves you and stuff. Hope this was helpful

Lucas King · Dec 29, 2012, 12:13 AM

Originally Posted by eMiLy002

Maybe if you spend a bit more time with her and if you feel that she's not that into you break up with her slowly tell her that you don't think she's into you and everything and maybe you will still get to be friends of even better you still might be her girlfriend if she says that she loves you and stuff. Hope this was helpful

I'll try to spend more time with her & see maybe there'll be some changes, but again I can't be a friend to her, after all we've been through, its just so hard.

J_9 · Dec 29, 2012, 12:21 AM

Maybe if you spend a bit more time with her and if you feel that she's not that into you break up with her slowly tell her that you don't think she's into you and everything and maybe you will still get to be friends of even better you still might be her girlfriend if she says that she loves you and stuff. Hope this was helpful

Out of the mouths of babes. Emily is only 13.

Lucas, you need to re-read what Don'tKnow said. If you are 2+ years into a relationship you should have a more open line of communication. There should be no guessing games.

So, she wants to explore new things in the new year. Does that mean she wants to try mountain climbing? Kayaking? Or trying things on her own? You see, only she knows the answer to that question.

Lucas King · Dec 29, 2012, 12:22 AM

Originally Posted by dontknownuthin

Well, the thing is, two years plus into a relationship you need to start talking openly about these things if you haven't already established that level of honesty in the relationship. Just ask her, "what did you mean when you said that you want to experience new things? Does that mean you want to experience new things together, or did it mean something else?"

She might just be bored in her own life and want to shake things up, and if you're game for a bit of adventure, you could join her in the effort. But if what she means is she wants to experience dating someone else, well, just accept that this is where she's at in her experience and stage of life - it's nothing bad about you, but it would mean that you need to move on, too.

I think though, to determine whether you want to break up with her, you need to understand the answers to your questions, which you can learn only from her.

You know lately I've been telling her , how I feel about her & I do ths each & every time, I sometimes think she's taking an advantage from that.
This year I wasn't around I went to school, I came back last week of November & that's when she started to change.

eMiLy002 · Dec 29, 2012, 04:27 AM

Is it a good change?
And I know I'm 13 and I have been through a lot. I knew that my mum and dad were not meant for each other and stuff like that just don't judge people from how old they are because you might not know there life story.

dontknownuthin · Dec 30, 2012, 08:00 AM

There's more to communication in a couple than talking about how you feel about each other. You have to be willing to ask questions about what they are planning for themselves, and how they see you fitting into those decisions. If she's not able nor willing to be open and engage in the conversation I think you should move on.

It's one thing to have to do some guessing about the other person's feelings and thoughts when you are considering dating, and when you are newly dating. However, there comes a time - and you should be well into that time by now - when you can speak freely about issues and questions related to the relationship, and your partner can and does as well.

talaniman · Dec 30, 2012, 08:32 AM

Maybe the question you should be asking is where are you going, and if you are going together. After 2 years you still have not learned each others language, and how to talk to each other?

That's not good, nor is it honest.

Lucas King · Dec 30, 2012, 03:01 PM

Guys the thing is, I can't move on at the same time I don't understand her anymore. It seems like lately I'm the one who cares about our relationship. Just help me on how to take it easy & quit this relationship, because when I try to move on or be with someone. I keep on thinking about her.

Please Help. :'(

talaniman · Dec 30, 2012, 03:22 PM

You can't move on until YOU decide to breakup, or NOT! Make a decision on what you want, then follow through.

dontknownuthin · Dec 31, 2012, 12:26 PM

There's no magic way to do it. You have to just go to her and say, "this relationship is not working for me and I need to move on. I wish you the best. I will always think of you well but I think a friendship would be very difficult for me, so we need to part ways."

Then it's going to hurt and you're going to want to call her, and you're going to have to just make plans with the guys, your family, focusing on what you want to do - clean your house or fix something, or plan a camping trip, or do whatever you need to do to distract yourself until the compulsion to reach out to her is gone.

A clean break is the best way to go about it - if you keep going back and taking her calls and whatever, it will just erode things further and will be a worse experience than it already is, so just stop.

Even if she cries or promises to change, once you decide to be done, just be done.

Lucas King · Jan 2, 2013, 12:44 AM

Originally Posted by dontknownuthin

There's no magic way to do it. You have to just go to her and say, "this relationship is not working for me and I need to move on. I wish you the best. I will always think of you well but I think a friendship would be very difficult for me, so we need to part ways."

Then it's going to hurt and you're going to want to call her, and you're going to have to just make plans with the guys, your family, focusing on what you want to do - clean your house or fix something, or plan a camping trip, or do whatever you need to do to distract yourself until the compulsion to reach out to her is gone.

A clean break is the best way to go about it - if you keep going back and taking her calls and whatever, it will just erode things further and will be a worse experience than it already is, so just stop.

Even if she cries or promises to change, once you decide to be done, just be done.

Seems to be so Hard to do that. But its worth trying

dontknownuthin · Jan 2, 2013, 09:32 AM

It seems hard because you don't know what will happen next. Don't loose sight of the purpose of dating - it's to find the right person to ultimately spend your life with. If you spend too much time with the wrong person, you are just delaying your success and happiness.

Lucas King · Jan 3, 2013, 01:26 PM

Originally Posted by dontknownuthin

It seems hard because you don't know what will happen next. Don't loose sight of the purpose of dating - it's to find the right person to ultimately spend your life with. If you spend too much time with the wrong person, you are just delaying your success and happiness.

Thank you. I definitely need the right Person.