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    Theguy9701's Avatar
    Theguy9701 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 26, 2012, 06:28 AM
    My girlfriend loves two people
    Hi, I'm in a really tricky situation. Me and my girlfriend are really close, (we've talked about getting a place together next year when she finishes college - UK college by the way, not the USA) and we both love each other completely.

    For the past month we've hit some big issues. I've always known she has still loved her ex, he helped her through a massive part of her life and in some ways saved her life. The thing is, they started speaking to him again and her feelings have intensified and she wishes so much she hadn't. She has never cheated on me with him, but she is so so confused and, well I am too.

    Any advice would be fantastic...
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #2

    Nov 26, 2012, 06:47 AM
    You can love more than one person in life. I recently had to make a decision to be with just one and it was a very good decision. Is she the type to honor that commitment? You need to be sure before you make any long term decisions.
    Theguy9701's Avatar
    Theguy9701 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Nov 26, 2012, 06:54 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Oliver2011 View Post
    You can love more than one person in life. I recently had to make a decision to be with just one and it was a very good decision. Is she the type to honor that commitment? You need to be sure before you make any long term decisions.
    Yeah, she will only ever commit to one person and I believe her. I asked the big question, does she want to be with me or him (I've always been up front, I hope asking it like this wouldn't cause more issue?) she just said she doesn't know, which is understandable.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #4

    Nov 26, 2012, 07:02 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Theguy9701 View Post
    Yeah, she will only ever commit to one person and I believe her. I asked the big question, does she want to be with me or him (I've always been up front, I hope asking it like this wouldn't cause more issue?) she just said she doesn't know, which is understandable.
    It is possible she will take a long time in making that decision. Are you ready for that? What is plan B meaning how are you going to deal with that? And does her ex feel the same way about her? This situation can get very complicated.
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    Theguy9701 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Nov 26, 2012, 07:07 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Oliver2011 View Post
    It is possible she will take a long time in making that decision. Are you ready for that? What is plan B meaning how are you going to deal with that? And does her ex feel the same way about her? This situation can get very complicated.
    I'm willing to wait as long as I have too, I love her with all my heart and I don't want to loose her. Her ex still loves her as well.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #6

    Nov 26, 2012, 07:27 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Theguy9701 View Post
    I'm willing to wait as long as I have too, I love her with all my heart and I don't want to loose her. Her ex still loves her as well.
    Well good luck with that. I was dating 4 people at one time and was having a blast. But the fear of losing the best person that I've ever been with made me commit to that person. I do love and miss the other 3 especially one of them. Making that commitment lifted a burden and made us even closer. Hopefully she will come to terms with this decision soon.
    Theguy9701's Avatar
    Theguy9701 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Nov 26, 2012, 09:02 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Oliver2011 View Post
    Well good luck with that. I was dating 4 people at one time and was having a blast. But the fear of losing the best person that I've ever been with made me commit to that person. I do love and miss the other 3 especially one of them. Making that commitment lifted a burden and made us even closer. Hopefully she will come to terms with this decision soon.
    I'm glad things worked out man. We're going to have a talk about where we are later.
    spanish18's Avatar
    spanish18 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Nov 26, 2012, 02:34 PM
    I'm going to give you an opinion that you won't like, but it's a point of view, the only experience I can share with you. I'm not saying it will happen to you, but just so you can weigh your options.
    I was sort of in your girlfriend's shoes at one time, had a boyfriend but wasn't really over my ex.
    For me, I went on a long trip ( 2 months) and by the first month I didn't even miss my boyfriend anymore, I could only think about the other guy. When I went back my boyfriend was also out of town and I ended up cheating with my ex, felt terrible, but still... It was a long time coming. As soon as he got back I broke it off, I felt bad, but relieved.
    To me, the thing is, if you got out of a relationship that supposedly didn't work for whatever reason, and now you're in one that completely DOES, then why ever would you have second thoughts... Unless, something worked better before?
    A year later met another guy and never looked back. It just worked out that way.
    Hope it's not your case! Good luck!
    Hopeyturv's Avatar
    Hopeyturv Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Nov 26, 2012, 02:40 PM
    I just broke up. Me and my ex are still really good friends. But I like my new Bf more than my ex. If things Don't work out, you can ask me if you need any help
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