[Turtlicious]

I am staying in a group home in Los Angeles, I'm going to school and looking for work. Recently, my home manager has been aggressive and rude, I have not been getting the medication unless I ask, (It's locked up in the staff's office,) and have been told I must go to sports games when I have homework and other responsibilities. (I instead go to Starbucks, it's not a huge deal just seems wrong somehow... ) I recently complained to the in-house case worker, and she has treated me worse since then. Ontop of that she has told me because of my age that I have no rights in the system, and that if I continue to complain that I will be terminated, and my bed will be closed. I am terrified because that would mean I would be homeless, I'd be unable to finish school, and incapable of securing more housing. I told my Therapist what she said, and with my permission she relayed it to the in-house case manager.

I have just heard her say that she won't put up with an adult complaining in her group home, and it sounds like she's putting in the work to terminate me. What can I do? Should I keep complaining this time to people higher up? I feel like my choice is to lie down and be treated terribly or be homeless.

I don't know what the right decision is to make, I'm scared, and confused.

Thank you for listening/reading.

[Wondergirl]

Do they consider you a chronic complainer? Have you had problems with this before?

[JudyKayTee]

I am staying in a group home in Los Angeles, I'm going to school and looking for work. Recently, my home manager has been aggressive and rude, I have not been getting the medication unless I ask, (It's locked up in the staff's office,) and have been told I must go to sports games when I have homework and other responsibilities. (I instead go to Starbucks, it's not a huge deal just seems wrong somehow...) I recently complained to the in-house case worker, and she has treated me worse since then. Ontop of that she has told me because of my age that I have no rights in the system, and that if I continue to complain that I will be terminated, and my bed will be closed. I am terrified because that would mean I would be homeless, I'd be unable to finish school, and incapable of securing more housing. I told my Therapist what she said, and with my permission she relayed it to the in-house case manager.

I have just heard her say that she won't put up with an adult complaining in her group home, and it sounds like she's putting in the work to terminate me. What can I do? Should I keep complaining this time to people higher up? I feel like my choice is to lie down and be treated terribly or be homeless.

I don't know what the right decision is to make, I'm scared, and confused.

Thank you for listening/reading.

The Law says you age out when you reach the age of majority - usually 18. You are staying there because "they" are allowing you to stay there.

How are they treating you horribly? Not letting you go to sporting events? I think if you keep complaining you're going to find out what "horrible" really is.

I understand you have to ask for your medication (which I assume you don't need to pay for); you do get to go to Starbucks; you apparently receive free counselling.

I'd be really sure I had someplace to go, someone to put a roof over my head and food in my stomach and all that goes with that, before making too many complaints and getting aged out.

My feeling is that there is someone who is a minor who could use your bed - someone "higher" on the food chain is very likely to think that the law is being stretched for you, you are ungrateful, someone else could use the bed - and you will be gone. I'm amazed that the home is allowing you to stay. In my area the taxpayers would be up in arms. Eighteen and you're on your own - unless you're in custody of the Police of mental health system.

Just as a side issue - why are you in a group home?

[Turtlicious]

Do they consider you a chronic complainer? Have you had problems with this before?

No, I'm generally quiet, soft spoken, and introverted. The only time previously I had complained was 2 years ago when I was 17 and my ILP coordinator called me a fat*** because I was focusing on school instead of looking for work.

[JudyKayTee]

No, I'm generally quiet, soft spoken, and introverted. The only time previously I had complained was 2 years ago when I was 17 and my ILP coordinator called me a fat*** because I was focussing on school instead of looking for work.

Soft spoken and complaining are two different things. Are you saying you are normally soft spoken but you raised your voice when you complained?

What education are you finishing? High school, tech school, soemthing else.

[Wondergirl]

When do you "age out" of this group home?

[Turtlicious]

The Law says you age out when you reach the age of majority - usually 18. You are staying there because "they" are allowing you to stay there.

How are they treating you horribly? Not letting you go to sporting events? I think if you keep complaining you're going to find out what "horrible" really is.

The exact opposite, and I mentioned this is a side issue. Also, that force me to do things when I have papers and work for school

I understand you have to ask for your medication (which I assume you don't need to pay for); you do get to go to Starbucks; you apparently receive free counselling.

I'd be really sure I had someplace to go, someone to put a roof over my head and food in my stomach and all that goes with that, before making too many complaints and getting aged out.

My counselling is covered by Medi-Cal, as for the starbucks, because I want to focus on my school, I am being punished. I am regularly marked down "points" (A system that judges how well you're doing in the home,) for choosing school over activities.

My feeling is that there is someone who is a minor who could use your bed - someone "higher" on the food chain is very likely to think that the law is being stretched for you, you are ungrateful, someone else could use the bed - and you will be gone. I'm amazed that the home is allowing you to stay. In my area the taxpayers would be up in arms. Eighteen and you're on your own - unless you're in custody of the Police of mental health system.

Maybe you're right, I honestly have no clue, but I can tell you that I have tried my hardest to make the best of my situation, and now that I'm so close to self sufficiency it seems wrong for it to be snatched away. It also seems wrong to be treated the way I am.

Just as a side issue - why are you in a group home?

My mother was doing Vicodin when I was 12, and I ran away to live on the streets because I had no family to take care of me when she Overdosed, so I was placed into a foster home after 2 years of that, I had a survivalist mentality and after about 6 months in a foster home I was placed in a group home and was bounced around, eventually I was able to overcome my behaviour issues with medication and therapy, though I still have PTSD. I've been in the same one for about a year and a half now, and I'm not ungrateful. My problem is why are people allowed to treat me terribly because of my age?

I'm not sure what your background is, though I thank you for your reply, at what point is bullying OK though?

[Turtlicious]

Soft spoken and complaining are two different things. Are you saying you are normally soft spoken but you raised your voice when you complained?

I complained through an E-mail, as I'm a good writer, and am better at getting my point across through text. It was strongly worded but not aggressive. I also CC'd the manager so that she did not think I was going behind her back, I had raised the issue with her before.

What education are you finishing? High school, tech school, soemthing else.

I'm majoring in psychology, and have been working on this since I was young, about 17 after getting my GED.

[Turtlicious]

when do you "age out" of this group home?

21

[Wondergirl]

What is your studying going to lead to? Diploma? Job? Career?

[Turtlicious]

What is your studying going to lead to? diploma? job? career?

I would like to be either a Therapist or a Psychiatrist, though I'd also be interested in working for a group home. I want to help people, like I was helped.

[Wondergirl]

I would like to be either a Therapist or a Psychiatrist, though I'd also be interested in working for a group home. I want to help people, like I was helped.

You'll need at least a master's for therapist. How far are you in school now?

[Turtlicious]

You'll need at least a master's for therapist. How far are you in school now?

I have my Bachelors, but I am having issues finding a job, the field I want to work in asks me for job experience, and I have none.

[Wondergirl]

I have my Bachelors, but I am having issues finding a job, the field I want to work in asks me for job experience, and I have none.

What field?

[JudyKayTee]

21

This has been asked before - with almost no exceptions you "age out" at 18 in California. At that point you CAN go from a "group home" to specialized housing (shelters, things of that nature).

I wonder why you are the exception. Maybe you aren't there at their pleasure. I would guess I am wrong if it's a group home and you are living there at 19.

You are 19 with a Bachelor's Degree? That in and of itself is amazing.

So you are enrolled in a Master's Program? Are there grants, scholarships, something else available to you, something that would allow you to live on your own?

[Wondergirl]

I work as a job coach and help people improve their resumes, interviewing techniques, etc. I'm thinking just get a job somewhere, not necessarily in the field you want to be in.

How did you get a bachelor's at 18/19?

[Turtlicious]

This has been asked before - with almost no exceptions you "age out" at 18 in California. At that point you CAN go from a "group home" to specialized housing (shelters, things of that nature).

I wonder why you are the exception. Maybe you aren't there at their pleasure. I would guess I am wrong if it's a group home and you are living there at 19.

You are 19 with a Bachelor's Degree? That in and of itself is amazing.

So you are enrolled in a Master's Program? Are there grants, scholarships, something else available to you, something that would allow you to live on your own?

They go to pay my tuition at USC, and even if I could afford to live off college money, I don't think I'm ready, while I'm intelligent I tend to have tunnel vision, focusing on only one thing forever, I need people around me right now to help me focus on everything, not just school.

I work as a job coach and help people improve their resumes, interviewing techniques, etc. I'm thinking just get a job somewhere, not necessarily in the field you want to be in.

How did you get a bachelor's at 18/19?

I dropped out of school early, getting my GED at a very young age, I then started immediately at LACC taking as many classes in my field as I could, even when I was bouncing from group home to group home I still managed to go to school every day. SOmetimes breaking the rules to do so.

I'll admit I had to be sneaky and a bit dishonest to get my GED so early, but I felt it was worth it.

And yes, I used to have a job as a telemarketer for an SEO firm, but I had to quit because ontop of a full school load, I was working for about 20 hours on the weekends. Which was awful because it was commission only.

[Wondergirl]

Is it possible you have Asperger's?

[Turtlicious]

Is it possible you have Asperger's?

Intense depression, which I've coped with by using therapy and Welbutrin.

[Wondergirl]

Intense depression, which I've coped with by using therapy and Welbutrin.

You can have Asperger's and be depressed. Some of the traits you mentioned sounded Aspie-ish.

So what about job hunting?