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Betrayed111 · Sep 12, 2012, 11:54 AM

I left the room to say good bye to another couple when I came back maybe 5 min later I caught my best friend and husband kissing. She says she made a drunken mistake and apparently very upset prob cause I called and told her husband what she did! I refuse to forgive her but do I give my husband another chance? We have been married along time and have kids!

excon · Sep 12, 2012, 11:59 AM

Hello B:

Yup, you were betrayed all right, but by your HUSBAND, not your best friend... Did SHE ever commit to you?? I'm blown away by you women who give your men a pass but go after some chick...

excon

zack1215 · Sep 12, 2012, 12:03 PM

Originally Posted by excon

Hello B:

Yup, you were betrayed all right, but by your HUSBAND, not your best friend... Did SHE ever commit to you??? I'm blown away by you women who give your men a pass but go after some chick...
excon

Well don't you think the chick shouldn't have made a move?

excon · Sep 12, 2012, 12:07 PM

Originally Posted by zack1215

Well dont you think the chick shouldn't have made a move?

Hello z:

Even if she did, the husband CAN say no... Do you think men are incapable of refusing sex??

excon

Betrayed111 · Sep 12, 2012, 12:08 PM

He isn't getting a pass just not sure if I should throw in the towel or not with him too?

zack1215 · Sep 12, 2012, 12:10 PM

Originally Posted by excon

Hello z:

Even if she did, the husband CAN say no... Do you think men are incapable of refusing sex???

excon

Well still you shouldn't leave him especially if you have kids with him I mean everybody is entitled to a mistake in their life

Wondergirl · Sep 12, 2012, 12:33 PM

Since alcohol was involved and you said your friend was drunk (and maybe hubby too?), I certainly would take that into consideration -- along with the children and house and family solidarity and years of marriage -- before I'd kick him to the curb.

Alty · Sep 12, 2012, 02:26 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Since alcohol was involved and you said your friend was drunk (and maybe hubby too?), I certainly would take that into consideration -- along with the children and house and family solidarity and years of marriage -- before I'd kick him to the curb.

I'd take the alcohol and drunkenness into consideration, but to me that makes it even worse. Most times people do things they've wanted to do for a long time, but were too afraid to do, when they're drunk.

If you give him a pass then what happens the next time? Does he then say "but honey, I was drunk, I didn't know what I was doing?"

I don't think I'd give up on the marriage over a kiss. I would definitely seek marriage counseling over it, and maybe alcohol treatment for the husband that can't seem to keep his lips to himself when he's drunk, and knows that his wife is in the next room.

At least he's not very good at cheating. That's a good thing. :)

JudyKayTee · Sep 12, 2012, 04:48 PM

Originally Posted by zack1215

Well dont you think the chick shouldn't have made a move?

The chick made no promises to you. The weakwilled husband did.

I always post that I'm amazed - two women, one man, and the women turn on each other.

Alty · Sep 12, 2012, 04:51 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

The chick made no promises to you. The weakwilled husband did.

I always post that I'm amazed - two women, one man, and the women turn on each other.

I agree! And the man, that's just as guilty, is forgiven.

Not that the OP shouldn't forgive her husband. But, if she does, then she should also be able to forgive the woman. The woman isn't married to the OP. The husband is. He's by far the more guilty of the two.

JudyKayTee · Sep 12, 2012, 05:05 PM

Originally Posted by Betrayed111

I left the room to say good bye to another couple when I came back maybe 5 min later I caught my best friend and husband kissing. She says she made a drunken mistake and apparently very upset prob cause I called and told her husband what she did! I refuse to forgive her but do I give my husband another chance? We have been married along time and have kids!

I just noticed that OP also attempted to cause the best friend's marriage to implode.

Revenge is never a good idea -

Wow. An adult, married a long time with kids, went after the other woman. First problem is that if there is anything between husband and best friend, best friend very could now be single.

Not smart.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 12, 2012, 05:08 PM

Yes a kiss does not happen from one person, she forgives husband but not friend. Silly, I guess when they do more, it will still be the women's fault. I know a lot of men that wish their wives would have believed that story

Enigma1999 · Sep 12, 2012, 05:21 PM

Originally Posted by excon

Hello B:

Yup, you were betrayed all right, but by your HUSBAND, not your best friend... Did SHE ever commit to you??? I'm blown away by you women who give your men a pass but go after some chick...

excon

Then you haven't me... because I would be NOT give him a pass.

teacherjenn4 · Sep 12, 2012, 05:33 PM

Definitely time for some counseling. Hoping you and your husband can get past this mistake. But, if it ever happened again, no more chances.

Alty · Sep 12, 2012, 05:37 PM

Originally Posted by Enigma1999

Then you haven't me....because I would be NOT give him a pass.

I have to say, I would likely let one kiss slip. I'd make him and my friend pay for it for the rest of their lives, because that's me, but I'd likely stay with him. It's just a kiss.

If my husband had sex with another woman... well, I have a big yard, a shovel, and I doubt anyone would miss him. ;)

JudyKayTee · Sep 12, 2012, 05:39 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

I have to say, I would likely let one kiss slip. I'd make him and my friend pay for it for the rest of their lives, because that's me, but I'd likely stay with him. It's just a kiss.

If my husband had sex with another woman....well, I have a big yard, a shovel, and I doubt anyone would miss him. ;)

I walk in on them kissing? I'd be using the shovel now. I wouldn't make that "mistake." I don't expect that my husband would.

Yes, he would be gone. No second chances.

Alty · Sep 12, 2012, 05:48 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I walk in on them kissing? I'd be using the shovel now. I wouldn't make that "mistake." I don't expect that my husband would.

Yes, he would be gone. No second chances.

Okay, to be fair, if I walked in on them kissing, both of them would be bruised, battered, and a hole or two may be dug. For flowers! I swear it! ;)

But, if the kiss happened, and I found out, I think I could forgive. Sex? No! I know I couldn't forgive that. I don't even want to test my theory on the kiss. Sex I know for sure I couldn't forgive.

Fact is, I know my husband. I'll never had to find out first hand what I'd do. Nor will he.

I can only guess at what I would do, knowing myself and how I'd react. But, it's not something I'll ever have to face. That's not the type of husband I have, and I'd bet my life on that. He's too damn lazy to have an affair! It's too much work! :)

Homegirl 50 · Sep 12, 2012, 06:04 PM

Originally Posted by zack1215

Well dont you think the chick shouldn't have made a move?

She was drunk and she apologized. What was your husband's excuse. He is the one who made a commitment to you. Why did he not push her away?

Homegirl 50 · Sep 12, 2012, 06:08 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I just noticed that OP also attempted to cause the best friend's marriage to implode.

Revenge is never a good idea -

Wow. An adult, married a long time with kids, went after the other woman. First problem is that if there is anything between husband and best friend, best friend very possibly could now be single.

Not smart.

Yeah, she ruined that marriage but hung on to her husband who did not push the woman away. Makes no sense.

Alty · Sep 12, 2012, 06:09 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Yeah, she ruined that marriage but hung on to her husband who did not push the woman away. Makes no sense.

Exactly.

But, women can be vindictive. We tend to forgive the father of our children, and not realize that they're just as guilty as the best friend. Or that's what it seems like. Never been in that situation myself, and don't plan to be. :)