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Mizz Molly · Sep 6, 2012, 07:39 PM

Hi everyone, I am new to this site and I am just looking for some helpful advice! Me & my ex boyfriend of 8 years broke up about 2 months ago... I was making a big move and he agreeded to come with me but he was kind of slacking to find a job before the move so we broke up.. he tried to get back together for a while and he showed up at my house one night very upset and said I can't let you get on that plane without me... couple days later I agreeded to work things out because I really do love him I just wanted him to step up as a man we are both 22 years old and I thought this was the first step of our lives together. He did a complete 360 on me and said he didn't want to be together anymore and he did not want to move I was in complete shock because this was the same person who was very upset a few days ago! This happened about a month and a half before I was leaving I tried for a little while to get back together but things got worse.. he started dating someone VERY FAST! He also told me he did not love me anymore and that he loved her and this was 1 month into dating her? Crazy.. anyway I moved away without him and I been away for about 2 weeks now and I have had no contact with him... I would like for him to realize he made a huge mistake but that has yet to happen him in this girl are now bf/gf and have been together in total for 2 months... My question is does anyone think this is a rebound? Also with me moving does it make things easier or harder on him.. I have you know he has also deleted me on fb I am still hung up on this because I feel I have no closure any Opinions?

Scgwsh · Sep 7, 2012, 04:10 AM

I believe it's a rebound

C0bra_M3nace · Sep 7, 2012, 04:18 AM

Your problem here is that you're still holding onto him, when he's clearly let go. You don't need closure in relationships, just accept the fact that it wasn't meant to be and move on.

Breaking up also isn't about making the other person realize what they've missed. Truth is, in a couple years you'll just be another ex of his and the same should go for you.

You'll move on and find someone new, someone better, someone who will follow you wherever you go and fight to be with you. First things first you need to move on. It's going to be a bit harder most likely, because the best way to move on is to surround yourself with friends. For now, focus on your new life and get out, explore, site see try some new things like a new restaurant. In time you'll feel better, and much happier.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 7, 2012, 05:21 AM

Go on, rebound or not, he is moved on and you need to also.

Mizz Molly · Sep 7, 2012, 09:01 AM

Welll, Im still very hurt and it will take me a while to move on I'm not the type to jump into a relationship I would rather be alone the thought of even being with someone so fast makes me sick and I don't know how he is even able to do this... We broke up 2 years ago for 6 months and he was dating someone for that peroid of time he totally ignored me and later he was the one that came back and said she was a rebound, meant nothing to him and he missed me sooo I guess that's why I am holding on...

C0bra_M3nace · Sep 7, 2012, 09:09 AM

Originally Posted by Mizz Molly

welll, Im still very hurt and it will take me a while to move on I'm not the type to jump into a relationship I would rather be alone the thought of even being with someone so fast makes me sick and I don't know how he is even able to do this...We broke up 2 years ago for 6 months and he was dating someone for that peroid of time he totally ignored me and later he was the one that came back and said she was a rebound, meant nothing to him and he missed me sooo I guess thats why I am holding on...

Everyone moves on at completely different paces. It's really dependent on your state of mind. You can move on a day after the relationship if you've got an excellent mindset. You can also move on a lot quicker if you've already moved on from the relationship mentally before the physical break-up. He may have lost the "love" long before you both parted ways making it easier to break the emotional ties that came with the relationship.

Don't let it bother you, start focusing on your future. There's nothing worse than being stuck in the past.

Mizz Molly · Sep 7, 2012, 09:14 AM

How is it possible to move on so fast after 8 years? We were very serious about each other and I still think he loves me I know him well and he is very good at hiding his feelings, I expected when I came out here and would realize the mistake he has made but that he not happened yet.. I finding it very hard to live her and pick myself up I am thinking about going home... :((((

C0bra_M3nace · Sep 7, 2012, 09:55 AM

Originally Posted by Mizz Molly

How is it possible to move on so fast after 8 years? We were very serious about eachother and I still think he loves me I know him well and he is very good at hiding his feelings, I expected when I came out here and would realize the mistake he has made but that he not happened yet.. I finding it very hard to live her and pick myself up I am thinking about going home.... :((((

This goes right back to the post I just made. We all move on and accept things at different rates. Who cares if he's moved on so quickly, he shouldn't be a concern of yours anymore. The longer he is a concern and the longer you care then the longer it's going to take for you to move on and heal and the longer you're going to be depressed an unhappy.

Again, focus on your future, get your mind off the past because it's going to do nothing but bring you down. You're still young and there's plenty of people out there. Stop sitting around giving someone thought who is not thinking of you.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 7, 2012, 10:26 AM

I would venture to say this girl has been in the picture for a while. At any rate, he has moved on.
You guys had been dating since your teen years and it is not uncommon. For one person to "grow" out of the other or find someone as an adult that suits him/her.
Being away can be a plus for you at this point. Starting anew, no attachments finding out who you are as an adult.

Mizz Molly · Sep 7, 2012, 01:10 PM

This girl hasn't been in the picture for a while I know that for a fact because he wanted to get back with me as soon as he got a job and he met her at work and like 3 days after he was at my house crying to get back together when I said OK.. and he did a 360 and was dating her I think he just didn't want to move/he is immature and I had to push him to start working so..

Homegirl 50 · Sep 7, 2012, 04:58 PM

At any rate, you are not over this guy. So either stay away from him or talk to him and see if he still wants you. Because you are not going to get anywhere until it is all spelled out for you.
My advice is to just stay away from him.