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RoyalZebra · Aug 26, 2012, 07:24 PM

Currently I am a 20 year-old college, and I have not had sex yet, but I have definitely been noticing that I have become more sexually aware of men. Now, I have been attracted to males before, but what I felt sexually at sixteen, is definitely not what I feel now at twenty. I work in a unisex environment, but when I am around an (attractive) male my age, whether it is at school or work, I feel this purely sexual energy in my nether regions, something that I did not really feel when I was teen. I have also realized that what I found attractive when I was sixteen is completely different from what I find attractive now. Do our preferences change as we get older? Also, do we become sexually aware of the opposite sex as we get older? Any help is greatly appreciated!

JudyKayTee · Aug 27, 2012, 04:10 AM

Originally Posted by RoyalZebra

Currently I am a 20 year-old college, and I have not had sex yet, but I have definitely been noticing that I have become more sexually aware of men. Now, I have been attracted to males before, but what I felt sexually at sixteen, is definitely not what I feel now at twenty. I work in a unisex environment, but when I am around an (attractive) male my age, whether it is at school or work, I feel this purely sexual energy in my nether regions, something that I did not really feel when I was teen. I have also realized that what I found attractive when I was sixteen is completely different from what I find attractive now. Do our preferences change as we get older? Also, do we become sexually aware of the opposite sex as we get older? Any help is greatly appreciated!

Sounds like you're a late bloomer.

I can't speak for anyone else, but, yes, my preferences today are not what they were when I was in my 20's.

smoothy · Aug 27, 2012, 06:20 AM

I'll second what JudyKayTee just stated.

THis is the very reason why adults generally tell any teenager to back off any relationship they get obsessed over... because your tastes in almost everything change so dramatically during puberty to the early 20's.

And in fact they do continue to change the rest of your life... only less dramatically.

Its not just becoming more aware, but its more about that by the late 20's and up you have gotten to know your own body more and more, and have emotionally matured by the 30's and 40's where you finally understand what you feel about yourself is more important than what others think about you.

In a nutshell, you really aren't really comfortable in your own skin unitl you hit your 30's or more. In your 20's you just think you are.

Nothing wrong with being a late bloomer. The early bloomers tend to flame out early... like a sprinter, the late bloomers temd to be in their prime a lot longer... like a marathon runner.

Wondergirl · Aug 27, 2012, 06:49 AM

And human sexuality is very fluid. What and who I enjoyed looking at and reading for stimulation in my 20s is not what turned me on in my 40s and definitely not what turns me on now. (I'm easy to please now, although I will always love Sean Connery and Johnny Depp, old or young, any way I can get them.)

Magpie95 · Aug 27, 2012, 08:08 PM

I agree! I can't imagine dating some of the guys from my high school, now in my 30s. The ones that I thought were really cute and interesting... my, my... not at all any more. Plus, now I need a leash and my poor boyfriend can barely get through the door without me fluttering around purring and pawing. In my teens, a guy would have to work pretty hard to get my attention. Perhaps, its also age that allows us to recognize substance in another person. That too, can be very attractive!

Wondergirl, I don't know what I would do if Johnny Depp showed up, sigh.. some guys are timeless!

JudyKayTee · Aug 28, 2012, 06:19 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

And human sexuality is very fluid. What and who I enjoyed looking at and reading for stimulation in my 20s is not what turned me on in my 40s and definitely not what turns me on now. (I'm easy to please now, although I will always love Sean Connery and Johnny Depp, old or young, any way I can get them.)

Two words - Sam Elliott. Three words - yesterday, today, tomorrow.

Magpie95 · Aug 28, 2012, 07:12 AM

Woohoo! Sam Elliott! Yes, ma'am. I'll take one of those, too. And if only Paul Newman were still with us. Sigh.

tickle · Aug 28, 2012, 07:31 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Two words - Sam Elliott. Three words - yesterday, today, tomorrow.

Oh yes! He voices the dodge ram commercials on CDN tv; that voice, wowee!

tickle · Aug 28, 2012, 07:37 AM

Nursing homes here provide single rooms for elder married couples who won't be separated, and of course still sleep in one bed. I can honestly say, but not from snooping, that they are still sexually active even at 90. That says a lot for ongoing monogamous gereatric relationships.

Magpie95 · Aug 28, 2012, 07:42 AM

Originally Posted by tickle

Nursing homes here provide single rooms for elder married couples who won't be separated, and of course still sleep in one bed. I can honestly say, but not from snooping, that they are still sexually active even at 90. That says a lot for ongoing monogamous gereatric relationships.

That is such a relief to hear. This just brightened my day. Thanks for sharing!

Wondergirl · Aug 28, 2012, 07:46 AM

And elderly singles don't necessarily sleep all night in their own beds.

Retired Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor has talked about her husband who has Alzheimer's and a girlfriend at his nursing home. Justice O'Connor's Husband Finds New Love - CBS News

CravenMorhead · Aug 28, 2012, 08:01 AM

I don't think it is a matter of becoming more sexually aware but learning what our tastes are. When you're in public school you're inundated with advertising and media telling you what you should look like and what your partner should look like.

How many bikini models and football players are there in High School? I know I wasn't and neither were a lot of people. Men are told they should be trim and muscular while women are told they should be skinny but have big boobs. Because that's what the real world is like!

As we grow we figure out what we like. I have seen this happen usually in the early 20s or so. Some people figure out they like larger cuddly men/women, tall, short, personality heavy, personality light, etc. et al. ad nauseum. We go from trying to get what we are told we should get to getting what we want. Wonderful voyage of discovery.

My two cents. I wouldn't look twice at many of the women in my high school class. Some of the ones I had crushes on... yea no. I think HawkEye (Alan Alda M*A*S*H) said it best:
"I could spend a life time learning your body from head to toe and another life time doing it again. But there are some ideas in your head that turns you ugly. I would like my handshake back."

tickle · Aug 28, 2012, 01:03 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

And elderly singles don't necessarily sleep all night in their own beds.

Retired Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor has talked about her husband who has Alzheimer's and a girlfriend at his nursing home. Justice O'Connor's Husband Finds New Love - CBS News

It is my experience, having clients in nursing homes, that this is true, but older lovers still cling to very proper courting procedures. The only problem though is bed checks by workers and if not finding someone in their own bed, would set off a hue and cry throughout the nursing home! So the pair would have to alert night staff that they would be together.

Wondergirl · Aug 28, 2012, 01:08 PM

Originally Posted by tickle

It is my experience, having clients in nursing homes, that this is true, but older lovers still cling to very proper courting procedures. The only problem though is bed checks by workers and if not finding someone in their own bed, would set off a hue and cry throughout the nursing home! So the pair would have to alert night staff that they would be together.

You mean I can't look forward to sexual intrigues and bed hopping in assisted living? That sounds worse than having the college dorm housemother "watching" us.

JudyKayTee · Aug 28, 2012, 01:13 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You mean I can't look forward to sexual intrigues and bed hopping in assisted living? That sounds worse than having the college dorm housemother "watching" us.

I must interrupt here - when my late husband was in the nursing home (briefly, before we met) he had a problem with someone "down the hall" who kept creeping into his room and into his bed.

And where I volunteer residents are allowed to have guests in their room with the door closed.

smoothy · Aug 28, 2012, 01:17 PM

Well there is at least one thing to look forward to, besides the bland food.

JudyKayTee · Aug 28, 2012, 01:21 PM

Originally Posted by smoothy

Well there is at least one thing to look forward to, besides the bland food.

I am howling with laughter! See, there's a bright side to everything.

Every time my husband was hospitalized thoughts of the "friendly" nursing home resident crossed his mind and he literally clutched me when I tried to leave. It was like leaving a child at school for the first time, "It's okay, you'll be okay, I'll be back tomorrow, think happy thoughts."

He slept with his eyes open, cupping his genitals.