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littleladylala · Aug 9, 2012, 06:35 AM

Hello my name is Tina-I have been with my boyfriend for almost a yr-we have no sex-if we do its once a month and he doesn't even -we don't finish.. :( I feel so insecure and he works an comes home and plays his stupid game on the computor-even on weekends all day into the night-just sits there-he does work and come home-latly he has been saying he's broke-dont know how.. we don't go anywhere or do anything... I feel like he doesn't want me-I give 100 + % to this relationship and I just want him to want me to want to have sex with me-when I bring it up he gets very angry and thinks its stupid... Ive worn nice nightys tried to get his attention and still nothing- nothing but a kiss goodnight and an I love you-we had sex in the beginning then he said he want to wait till we fell in love-well its been a yr in September plus I don't get why he doesn't or want me... :( what should I do?

smoothy · Aug 9, 2012, 06:42 AM

How old are you both... this matters.

littleladylala · Aug 9, 2012, 07:09 AM

I'm 30 he's 37

littleladylala · Aug 9, 2012, 07:10 AM

I just don't understand... :(

smoothy · Aug 9, 2012, 07:16 AM

When did he have his last complete physical? Is he on any medications?

littleladylala · Aug 9, 2012, 07:20 AM

I have no idea-he hasn't had one since we've been together-he smokes weed-alot.. and when he does have a hard on he covers it with his hand... makes me feel like he doesn't want me-but he says he loves me and wants a future-

littleladylala · Aug 9, 2012, 07:22 AM

And right now we live with his mom-he makes promises and don't keep them.

smoothy · Aug 9, 2012, 07:42 AM

Dump him... his a pot smioker and a slacker. THere are lots of far better guys out there that have none of his failings.

He also likely has other medical issues that can compound the fact pot kills the libido... like diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol... etc.

tickle · Aug 9, 2012, 07:47 AM

Originally Posted by littleladylala

And right now we live with his mom-he makes promises and dont keep them.

You two living with his mom is a real deal braker in the intimacy department. Is this arrangement for financial reasons, or is ths his idea?

littleladylala · Aug 9, 2012, 08:36 AM

Its so hard because I love him-and yes we are staying here to save money for a place but just yesterday he said he was broke! I don't lknow how I handed him$1300.00s for us to go somewhere and now he's broke! Its only been 2 days

smoothy · Aug 9, 2012, 08:55 AM

Originally Posted by littleladylala

Its so hard because I love him-and yes we are staying here to save money for a place but just yesterday he said he was broke! I dont lknow how I handed him$1300.00s for us to go somewhere and now he's broke! its only been 2 days

He spent it on Pot... and whatelse...

Like I said... proof he's a slacker. How much more money are you going to give him to waste? He's living at his parents... WHAT expenses does he really have anyway?

backpack2389 · Aug 9, 2012, 10:34 AM

I'd say his lack of interest in you is due to either excessive drug use or excessive porn use or both. Also, he could be spending all of his money on both things if he isn't using free porn.

His drug use, living with him mom, spending all his time on the computer, his inability to manage money and giving you no sexual attention all points to someone that you should probably leave. He might say he loves you, but it doesn't seem like he's showing it and I think you could do MUCH better.

smoothy · Aug 9, 2012, 10:36 AM

Originally Posted by backpack2389

I'd say his lack of interest in you is due to either excessive drug use or excessive porn use or both. Also, he could be spending all of his money on both things if he isn't using free porn.

His drug use, living with him mom, spending all his time on the computer, his inability to manage money and giving you no sexual attention all points to someone that you should probably leave. He might say he loves you, but it doesn't seem like he's showing it and I think you could do MUCH better.

Viewing Porn does NOT equal having sex... or even whacking off to it.

backpack2389 · Aug 9, 2012, 10:54 AM

I didn't say porn use was sex. What I said was it might be a reason why a man (who spends all of his time on the computer) might not be interested in his hot and ready girlfriend right next to him. Additionally, research and common sense, have shown that having an earlier orgasm can reduce sexual desire in achieving another one soon after. It was just a suggestion and one that, given the information she has supplied, is quite plausible.

JudyKayTee · Aug 9, 2012, 11:09 AM

Originally Posted by backpack2389

I didn't say porn use was sex. What I said was it might be a reason why a man (who spends all of his time on the computer) might not be interested in his hot n ready gf right next to him. Additionally, research and common sense, have shown that having an earlier orgasm can reduce sexual desire in achieving another one soon after. It was just a suggestion and one that, given the information she has supplied, is quite plausible.

Please post your research - your common sense may not be the same as someone else's common sense but research is research, facts are facts and so forth.

Maybe I know what you're talking about. Maybe no one else does.

Here's my specific problem - you DID refer to excessive porn: "I'd say his lack of interest in you is due to either excessive drug use or excessive porn use or both."

Now you never said that?

smoothy · Aug 9, 2012, 11:11 AM

Originally Posted by backpack2389

I didn't say porn use was sex. What I said was it might be a reason why a man (who spends all of his time on the computer) might not be interested in his hot n ready gf right next to him. Additionally, research and common sense, have shown that having an earlier orgasm can reduce sexual desire in achieving another one soon after. It was just a suggestion and one that, given the information she has supplied, is quite plausible.

I call BS on this... can you present any credible evidence to back this up since YOU are making claims about research and proof when it flys contrary to common sense and real life experience for those of use who are well beyond our early 20's.

JudyKayTee · Aug 9, 2012, 11:28 AM

Originally Posted by smoothy

I call BS on this....can you present any credible evidence to back this up since YOU are making claims about research and proof when it flys contrary to common sense and real life experience for those of use who are well beyond our early 20's.

Well, I don't know, Mr. Smoothy - I read that Bigfoot actually does exist. It's on the Internet. It must be true.

Was it Bigfoot who was eating a burger at McDonald's or Elvis?

backpack2389 · Aug 9, 2012, 11:34 AM

Good in Bed - Does Too Much Porn Mess with a Guy's Sex Skills? - Sex on the Brain
Good in Bed - Porn, and the thin line between Pleasure and Problem - Advice from the Experts
Your Brain On Porn Series: Porn Addiction | Your Brain On Porn
Masturbation: 5 Things You Didn't Know on MedicineNet.com
A research on the relationship b... [J Zhejiang Univ Sci. 2003 Mar-Apr] - PubMed - NCBI
Effects of Male Masturbation on Attracting Women

smoothy · Aug 9, 2012, 11:35 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Well, I don't know, Mr. Smoothy - I read that Bigfoot actually does exist. It's on the Internet. It must be true.

Was it Bigfoot who was eating a burger at McDonald's or Elvis?

People also believe in Alien abduction and anal probing by extraterestrials...

Usually by people that drink heavily and live in trailer parks...

Lots of websites, 55,200 on Google alone. Must be true then.

smoothy · Aug 9, 2012, 11:37 AM

How old are you... backpack2389... are you still in college?

Those aren't very credible links...