[Wondergirl]

No you guys are so wrong if he cheats on me im blaming you and joypulv i came to get help not to get worse!

If he cheats on you, hmmm wonder why -- it's either something in him or something about your relationship with him.

Why does this worry you? What if he DOES cheat? Then what?

I get the feeling you are maybe 13. Am I close?

[Tiffany Niclass]

I'm 14 I'm going to be 15 soon you know what stay out of this I don't need help let me just fix this myself you obviously don't know how to control romance I love my boyfriend very much and I have bad feelings that he will cheat on me I don't know why maybe just cause I'm curius.I know he can have girls as friends too but still he dosen't always awnser me and I would love too get a text from him at least one day maybe just too see if he really cares. We had this fight once he has pmed a girl and that girl copied everything they wrote and he said it was a joke but I don't think it was he has been dating another girl before me I know it cause a friend told me but he didin't tell me on my own cause he didin't want to I could maybe just ask someone else for help or I can't deal with this

[Wondergirl]

control romance.....too see if he really cares.

When you post on this site, anyone can respond. And believe it or not, I was once 14 years old. And guess what -- I have loved and lost boyfriends and have even dumped a few, so I'm no stranger to "romance."

You can't "control" romance. If that's what you think you have to do, you are either listening to immature friends or Hollywood/movie/tv reality show hype.

You don't chase him ceaselessly "to see if he really cares." There are better ways to find that out.

[Tiffany Niclass]

When you post on this site, anyone can respond. And believe it or not, I was once 14 years old. And guess what -- I have loved and lost boyfriends and have even dumped a few, so I'm no stranger to "romance."

You can't "control" romance. If that's what you think you have to do, you are either listening to immature friends or Hollywood/movie/tv reality show hype.

You don't chase him ceaselessly "to see if he really cares." There are better ways to find that out.

Whatever

[joypulv]

Whatever? That's the response of someone who doesn't want to hear good advice and would rather keep letting suspicion gnaw at her insides. You came here asking how someone trusts someone, but don't want to know what it takes. So back you go, painfully hoping for that text and that promise of daily love, wondering what girls he's seeing, which ones he's more than just flirting with... hey, lots of luck - I'm out of here.

[Tiffany Niclass]

Whatever? That's the response of someone who doesn't want to hear good advice and would rather keep letting suspicion gnaw at her insides. You came here asking how someone trusts someone, but don't want to know what it takes. So back you go, painfully hoping for that text and that promise of daily love, wondering what girls he's seeing, which ones he's more than just flirting with... hey, lots of luck - I'm outta here.

I wasn't asking for advice I just wanted to know how to trust him that's all

[joypulv]

"I just want to know... that's all.."
SIGH
First of all, answers are going to be in the form of advice. Why? Because there is no Rule Book of Trust. Trust, like love, is almost infinitely complicated. We are born helpless and trusting, we are taught to trust our parents and teachers and policemen and cars with airbags, then we are taught to beware of people that might not be trustworthy and animals that bite and streets with a lot of cars zipping by, and it get's harder and harder to know what and who to trust - for ALL OF US. It becomes a topic so complicated that you have to address it by the situation you are in. That's called advice.

[Tiffany Niclass]

"I just want to know... that's all.."
SIGH
First of all, answers are going to be in the form of advice. Why? Because there is no Rule Book of Trust. Trust, like love, is almost infinitely complicated. We are born helpless and trusting, we are taught to trust our parents and teachers and policemen and cars with airbags, then we are taught to beware of people that might not be trustworthy and animals that bite and streets with a lot of cars zipping by, and it get's harder and harder to know what and who to trust - for ALL OF US. It becomes a topic so complicated that you have to address it by the situation you are in. That's called advice.

Ok but how am I going to trust my boyfriend OK that's my last question !

[talaniman]

You can't trust him nor should you because you have evidence that he was doing things behind your back and played it off as a big joke. Well it was no joke to you, and upset you.

You should have dumped the dude, and let your heart heal instead of hang on to a cheater you can't trust. You will never forget what he did, and love at a young age isn't enough to forget.

At least stop taking your hurt and fear out on him, and tell him what you need. More texting, and calling and show he cares so you can feel better. Honesty might work.Try it!!

[Tiffany Niclass]

I know I believed in him that it wasn't a joke but I still stayed up all nigt thinking about it I got the feeling where I wanted to dump him but I didin't have the strength enough to do it... you know he shouldn't make a joke like that if I can see it or not. When she copied all that I got really hurt the last thing he said to her was " but if i love you then don't tell anyone" so I really started thinking that that "joke" thing was all a lie

[talaniman]

Maybe instead of trusting him, you should trust yourself, and your own common sense, and your gut feelings. You may love him, or need him, for whatever reason, but you do deserve the truth, with an honest partner.

At least one who's words and actions match, so you will not doubt he deserves YOU, and knows how to treat YOU. That was a lousy joke he played at best, or at worst, a lousy lie. Without the truth, there can be no trust, and you still deep down think it was a LIE!

I think you are right!

[Tiffany Niclass]

Thank you so much for helping me I appriciate it so much! Trust me if I had friends I wouldn't had posted for help on here but I have nobody, and I'm always in problems and when I am I think like "if only i had a friend".. I try to talk too my mom but she just dosen't know what to do, so.. I love my boyfriend very much but making up a joke or "a lie" like that that's just too far! Well should I dump him ? Or what do you think ?

[talaniman]

You talk to him honestly and see where it goes. I mean was this girl who gave you a copy of the conversation in on the joke? Did she even see this as a joke, or was she exposing him?

Most adults trust, but verify the facts. I would certainly get her part of this, and if it stinks, dump the fool. If you don't believe whatever story she tells, dump the fool!!

I think he gets dumped for thinking playing with someone's feelings are a joke.

[Tiffany Niclass]

No she didin't even make it up cause I talked too my boyfriend about it and he was like " it was a joke too see if she still liked me" I mean it sounded so untrue. And also another day I caught him writing on one of her photo's saying that she was so hot and he wished she was he's and I cried for like 5 hours and then I talked to him about it and he said it wasn't him... God! I don't know what to believe anymore!!

[Wondergirl]

I say stop with all the drama and read a good book. The public library is calling your name.

[talaniman]

Believe in yourself, and end the drama and speculation, and as Wondergirl said remove yourself so you can think, instead of just FEEL.

I know you are scared.

[Tiffany Niclass]

OK

[Tiffany Niclass]

I'm sure I'll figure something out. Thanks for all your wonderful awnsers :)

[louise1928]

I say talk to him ask him why he never does any of those things? If he carries on ignoring I suggest you dump him and find a real boyfriend. I also suggest you try and make some friends you can never have to many people you can talk too. :)

[Tiffany Niclass]

But it's hard to make friends I don't even know how to make friends