[lindap12]

My 19 year old daughter changed overnight being mean aggressive verbally abusive why would this be?

[smoothy]

my 19 year old daughter changed overnight being mean agressive verbally abusive why would this be?

Whatever the reason is there is no reason you should have to put up with it in your own house... I'd make it perfectly clear to here in NO uncertain terms... that she checks her attitude at the door or she can find herself someplace else to live. And stick to it...

There is no excuse for her behaviour... period.. at 19 she is legally an adult... and needs to start acting like one.

[lindap12]

Whatever the reason is there is no reason you should have to put up with it in your own house....I'd make it perfectly clear to here in NO uncertain terms...that she checks her attitude at the door or she can find herself someplace else to live. And stick to it...

There is no excuse for her behaviour....period..at 19 she is legally an adult...and needs to start acting like one.

Thank you Smoothy we have kicked her out 4 times and the last time she was fired and evicted so we let her back in she will not follow any rules. We were the best of friends prior to Aug 2011 when she changed in one night.

[smoothy]

Thank you Smoothy we have kicked her out 4 times and the last time she was fired and evicted so we let her back in she will not follow any rules. We were the best of friends prior to Aug 2011 when she changed in one night.

I doubt she really ever changed (inside)... she just thought she could get away with it again... and got tired of putting on a show pretending to be nice while it worked to her advantage.

Since she's an adult... you generally can't force her to go to a shrink. And she probibly really needs just that.

I'd give her a final ultimatum. Tell her, "The craps stops here and now or get your butt out once and for all."

If she gets truly abusive.. don't overlook the obvious first step... calling the police to arrest her. Depending on how bad it is you might get an emergency restraining order to keep her away while you go through the legal eviction process. THis time don't let her back in period... ever... and don't offer any help until she has proven she is deserving of it for a period of months first. Once she's out change the locks.

A little schooling from the school of hard knocks is in order... when she has to fend for herself and do without things she can't afford perhaps she will finally appreciate what you have done for her... as long as she can come running home soon after every episode.. she's never going to learn.

I can understand that is never easy to do with a child... but no parent should allow themselves to be abused like that. The parents deserve to be treated with respect by their children.

While you can't simply throw out a minor that's acting like that, you can do it to an adult.

[smearcase]

I don't like to bring it up but just based on my experience in several different settings--don't ever ignore substance abuse as a possible factor with atitude and behavioral surprises.

[smoothy]

I don't like to bring it up but just based on my experience in several different settings--don't ever ignore substance abuse as a possible factor with atitude and behavioral surprises.

Also a very good point that happens far more often than it should.

[TooHurt1953]

There is a distinct possibility she is actively using drugs. Drugs such as crystal meth, cocaine, etc, can cause an extreme personality change with belligerence, lying, stealing, getting fired from jobs, and see everyone else as stupid, boring, and irritating if rules are mentioned. Manipulative behavior and staying out really late with no explanation, defensive and aggressively insulting behavior come out of the blue with drug abuse. Check out her friends. What is the story on them? Trust your instincts. If you think you smell a rat, you probably do.

Such a drastic change as you suggest probably is more than just a sudden phase of being a spoiled brat with a bad attitude.

[jenniepepsi]

Overnight as in, within a day or 2?
That is drastic, and my first thought would be either drugs, or someone has abused her.

In fact, my first thought was maybe she was raped. In my support groups, young ladies who are raped, can go from sweet girls to violent and aggressive girls seemingly overnight.