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JudyKayTee · May 27, 2012, 09:58 AM

The more you post the better your side of things looks.

If you keep your cool in Court I think you're going to be okay.

When this is all over I think she definitely needs counselling - and the Court might require it - and it would probably help for you to talk to someone to figure out how to keep this estrangement from your children from happening again.

Just be cool!

ScottGem · May 27, 2012, 12:23 PM

I agree with Judy. Unfortunately the children (except maybe the 8 yr old) will probably not be able to testify. But if you have the reservation confirmation or anything else that can document that this was just a visit and/or the mother knew about the trip.

As Judy said you need to just keep your cool. I would take the position that you don't understand why this case is necessary.

I did just think about something else. What was the time line here? The mother has weekends so does that mean she picks up or you deliver the children on Friday nights or Saturday mornings? So did she call the police when you either didn't show up or the children were not there to be picked up? I would subpoena her phone records for the weekend. The next question is when did she request the ex parte hearing for temporary custody? Was it first thing Monday morning or later? Did you or the children talk to her at any time either while you were away or before she filed? Were the children in school Monday?

If you can answer those questions we may be able to provide some more tips on strategy and evidence. But the key is convincing the court that a) this was just a visit and b) she knew about it.

Evo630hp · May 27, 2012, 05:04 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

I agree with Judy. Unfortunately the children (except maybe the 8 yr old) will probably not be able to testify. But if you have the reservation confirmation or anything else that can document that this was just a visit and/or the mother knew about the trip.

As Judy said you need to just keep your cool. I would take the position that you don't understand why this case is necessary.

I did just think about something else. What was the time line here? The mother has weekends so does that mean she picks up or you deliver the children on Friday nights or Saturday mornings? So did she call the police when you either didn't show up or the children were not there to be picked up? I would subpoena her phone records for the weekend. The next question is when did she request the ex parte hearing for temporary custody? Was it first thing Monday morning or later? Did you or the children talk to her at any time either while you were away or before she filed? Were the children in school Monday?

If you can answer those questions we may be able to provide some more tips on strategy and evidence. But the key is convincing the court that a) this was just a visit and b) she knew about it.

since we got a mediation I got the kids most of the time and she got the kids on the weekend I drop the kids off Friday 7:30pm then I'm going to pick them up 7:30pm Sunday... coz her attorney called me Friday may 4 2012 around 10:48am he just said... How come you did not bring the kids that weekend you better bring it or else I'm going to take you to court Monday I was OK... and my ex got the kids that weekend then Monday around 5pm my ex and her sister came to my mom house and give me a paper that they got authorized to take the kids . I did not know when her attorney called me that's the notice already that I need to go to court so I don't have the time to react... then I hire an attorney then we did the exparte notice to them then my attorney ask for early court date or something so we got a court Thursday may 24 2012 and the judge told us that may be I believe may be not may be I'm wrong may be I'm not and my attorney said asking if the court an reinstate the custody on me and the judge said no I'm not going to make any decision bcoz this is not an emergency and all that and you guys need to wait until the 30th of this month may be bcoz there's an allegation that I'm going to take the kids away from there mom that's y may be the judge did not make any decision... that's why I'm going to bring my mom with me to testify and bring the confirmation from the hotel and some document for our purpose to go Utah,picture to proved that there's no intention of staying there and taking the kids away from there mom

ScottGem · May 27, 2012, 05:22 PM

Thanks for the info, but its not clear. If the attorney called you on Friday May 4 at 10:48AM what weekend was he asking about? If he was asking about the weekend you were in Utah wasn't that weekend already past at that time? It doesn't make sense for him to call Friday morning when you weren't due to bring them until that evening. If he was calling about the previous weekend, did you tell him that you had asked the mother about taking the children for that weekend and she had agreed?

You need to have your story down pat here. That's part of why I'm asking the details so you can be clear to the judge. Now if the lawyer didn't call until the Friday AFTER you returned from Utah, there there appears to have been no real concern about abduction. And, in fact, if the attorney filed claiming abduction AFTER you had returned, that could be considered a frivolous suit. So we need to get your time line down pat. So take your time get your facts straight and let us know what they are so we can advise further.

JudyKayTee · May 27, 2012, 06:21 PM

The explanation confuses me more than the original story. Punctuation would probably be helpful.

Meanwhile - I'd get your story down and stick to it. It seems that every time I look at this thread something has changed, is different.

I don't understand that you get the "kids" "most of the time" and your ex gets them weekends. That is hardly legal language and it would appear to cause more problems than it solves.

What am I missing?

cdad · May 27, 2012, 06:44 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

The explanation confuses me more than the original story. Punctuation would probably be helpful.

Meanwhile - I'd get your story down and stick to it. It seems that every time I look at this thread something has changed, is different.

I don't understand that you get the "kids" "most of the time" and your ex gets them weekends. That is hardly legal language and it would appear to cause more problems than it solves.

What am I missing?

The original custody order appears to have been the OP as custodial parent. Now that an accusation has come forth (parental kidnapping) and exparte motion was granted the children were taken away and now there is this mess to deal with.

Hope that clears it up.

Evo630hp · May 27, 2012, 06:54 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

thanks for the info, but its not clear. If the attorney called you on Friday May 4 at 10:48AM what weekend was he asking about? If he was asking about the weekend you were in Utah wasn't that weekend already past at that time? It doesn't make sense for him to call Friday morning when you weren't due to bring them until that evening. If he was calling about the previous weekend, did you tell him that you had asked the mother about taking the children for that weekend and she had agreed?

you need to have your story down pat here. that's part of why I'm asking the details so you can be clear to the judge. Now if the lawyer didn't call until the Friday AFTER you returned from Utah, there there appears to have been no real concern about abduction. And, in fact, if the attorney filed claiming abduction AFTER you had returned, that could be considered a frivolous suit. So we need to get your time line down pat. So take your time get your facts straight and let us know what they are so we can advise further.

he's asking me how come you did not bring the kids that weekend... I did know that's the notice that we got a court date on the 7th next thing I know they got a paper from the court and sign by the judge... that they thought I want to move to Utah and transfer them to another school that's y they took the kids away from my mom house and take them away from me... this what I was said to my ex... I'm going to take the kids for the weekend and I'm going to take the kids to Utah and I'm going to transfer them to another school... I did not say anything about staying and never come back to California now I have to proved that and show some document and some picture the reason why we go to Utah and now I have to wait for the judge what he going to say...

ScottGem · May 28, 2012, 05:36 AM

Originally Posted by Evo630hp

he's asking me how come u did not bring the kids that weekend...I did know that's the notice that we got a court date on the 7th next thing I know they got a paper from the court and sign by the judge...that they thought I want to move to utah and transfer them to another school that's y they took the kids away from my mom house and take them away from me...this what I was said to my ex...I'm gonna take the kids for the weekend and I'm gonna take the kids to Utah and I'm gonna transfer them to another school... I did not say anything about staying and never come back to California now I have to proved that and show some document and some picture the reason why we go to Utah and now I have to wait for the judge what he gonna say.....

I'm trying to help you out here but you aren't answering my questions clearly. I'm still not clear whether the attorney was asking about the Utah weekend or the coming weekend, "that weekend" could refer to either.

What did you mean by the bolded section? Did you specify where the school would be? I can understand them thinking this meant a school in Utah.

And this is typical of what you have posted here. You say things without fully clarifying, that people can interpret different ways. You have to answer questions fully and completely. So when I asked if the attorney was referring to the Utah weekend or the coming weekend, you answer "the attorney was referring to the Utah weekend". This makes it clear. You have to learn to do this especially in court. Again lets look at the bolded quote above.If you said, I'm looking into changing schools when I return, you may have avoided these problems.

So, once again, lets get the timeline down. You went to Utah, when? Was it before the May 4 call? Did you bring the children to the mother for the May 4-6 weekend? Did the lawyer file on the 7th or did you have a court date on the 7th? If the lawyer didn't file on the 7th when did he file? Please provide specific, complete answers.

Evo630hp · May 28, 2012, 07:23 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

I'm trying to help you out here but you aren't answering my questions clearly. I'm still not clear whether the attorney was asking about the Utah weekend or the coming weekend, "that weekend" could refer to either.

What did you mean by the bolded section? Did you specify where the school would be? I can understand them thinking this meant a school in Utah.

And this is typical of what you have posted here. You say things without fully clarifying, that people can interpret different ways. You have to answer questions fully and completely. So when I asked if the attorney was referring to the Utah weekend or the coming weekend, you answer "the attorney was referring to the Utah weekend". This makes it clear. You have to learn to do this especially in court. Again lets look at the bolded quote above.If you said, I'm looking into changing schools when I return, you may have avoided these problems.

So, once again, lets get the timeline down. You went to Utah, when? Was it before the May 4 call? Did you bring the children to the mother for the May 4-6 weekend? Did the lawyer file on the 7th or did you have a court date on the 7th? If the lawyer didn't file on the 7th when did he file? Please provide specific, complete answers.

we went to Utah April 30, 2012... Yes before May 4 call... and yes she got the kids that weekend... I don't know when did he file it... yes I have a court date on the 7th BUT I did know that I do have a court date that day bcoz I never receive anything from the mail or any notice and I just found out later that day around 5pm when they took my kids away from me... when my ex attorney called me about how come I did not bring the kids on her weekend.. I was like yes I did.. And he was like oh u better bring the kids or else I'm going to take you to court.. I did not know that's a notice already... then I hire an attorney we did the ex-prte notice and we went to court May 24, 2012 at Compton court and my attorney told the judge there's no harm done with the kids and all that can the court re-instate the custody to the father and the other attorney said he took the kids kids to Utah and plan to stay there and the respondent using the kids to get money like extortion and the judge was like I'm not going to do anything right now bcoz this is not even an emergency the judge said may I believe you may be not may be I'm wrong may be not and the petitioner claiming this and the respondent claiming this so I'm not going to do anything at this point. That what the judge said... yeah so what do u think bcoz I did not say anything about moving to Utah and transferring them to another school may be they mis interpret

Evo630hp · May 28, 2012, 07:29 PM

[QUOTE=Evo630hp;3131939]we went to Utah April 30, 2012... Yes before May 4 call... and yes she got the kids that weekend... I don't know when did he file it... yes I have a court date on the 7th BUT I did know that I do have a court date that day bcoz I never receive anything from the mail or any notice and I just found out later that day around 5pm when they took my kids away from me... when my ex attorney called me about how come I did not bring the kids on her weekend.. I was like yes I did.. And he was like oh you better bring the kids or else I'm going to take you to court.. I did not know that's a notice already... then I hire an attorney we did the ex-prte notice and we went to court May 24, 2012 at Compton court and my attorney told the judge there's no harm done with the kids and all that can the court re-instate the custody to the father and the other attorney said he took the kids kids to Utah and plan to stay there and the respondent using the kids to get money like extortion and the judge was like I'm not going to do anything right now bcoz this is not even an emergency the judge said may I believe you may be not may be I'm wrong may be not and the petitioner claiming this and the respondent claiming this so I'm not going to do anything at this point. That what the judge said... yeah so what do you think bcoz I did not say anything about moving to Utah and transferring them to another school may be they mis interpret me by saying that... on your opinion what's the best thing to say or do because me and my mom going to go to my attorney tomorrow and give the document from our church ,picture and confirmation from the hotel that we stay and tell them the reason and pUrpose of why we went to Utah..

ScottGem · May 29, 2012, 03:13 AM

Ok, Evo, this is much better and I think I understand more now. I think the reason the judge said what he said was because it was totally a he said/she said at that point. So he continued it to the scheduled hearing date so both parties could produce corroborative evidence.

So now you need to get documentary and testatory evidence to back up what you said. The reservation confirmation is one thing. You didn't answer about calls while you were away. And it may not be enough time to get phone records now. But you can tell the judge if there were any. The date her attorney filed may help with the timeline.

Did you start searching for another school? Did you contact any schools? If you did and can prove the contact, that might help. I'm hoping you get the idea. If you hired an attorney talk to them about what evidence you need. But keep the story that you just posted in your mind, make sure you tell it just like that with full clarifications. Add that you had asked the mother to keep the children that weekend. That you had fully explained to her why and that she had said it was OK.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Evo630hp · May 29, 2012, 08:55 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Ok, Evo, this is much better and I think I understand more now. I think the reason the judge said what he said was because it was totally a he said/she said at that point. So he continued it to the scheduled hearing date so both parties could produce corroborative evidence.

So now you need to get documentary and testatory evidence to back up what you said. The reservation confirmation is one thing. You didn't answer about calls while you were away. And it may not be enough time to get phone records now. But you can tell the judge if there were any. The date her attorney filed may help with the timeline.

Did you start searching for another school? Did you contact any schools? If you did and can prove the contact, that might help. I'm hoping you get the idea. If you hired an attorney talk to them about what evidence you need. But keep the story that you just posted in your mind, make sure you tell it just like that with full clarifications. Add in that you had asked the mother to keep the children that weekend. That you had fully explained to her why and that she had said it was OK.

Good luck and keep us posted.

no I did not search any school and yes I'm going to keep what I said bcoz that's the one I wrote and my attorney give my complain to the judge and what if my ex just said " u can take the kids but I'm not gonna give you money" do that one count as a yes or no? Coz that's the only thing my ex said... and my attorney said we have to prove that she only did not see the kids only one weekend 27,28,29 bcoz she claiming that she did not see the kids for 3 weeks now what she said is a lie that's y my mom going to be there to testify that she only did not see the kids only one weekend and my mom going to show the picture and document of our purpose why me and our whole family went to Utah... u think some of the document and some picture and my mom testimony will help me?. the reason why this happen she complaining everything that I'm using the kids for money I took the kids to Utah I attempt to kidnap the kids and she denying everything that she doesn't know about anything about the trip.

ScottGem · May 29, 2012, 09:25 AM

Originally Posted by Evo630hp

my attorney said we have to prove that she only did not see the kids only one weekend 27,28,29 bcoz she claiming that she did not see the kids for 3 weeks now .

That's actually good for you. If you can prove the children were with her for other weekends, it will severely damage her credibility.

Yes, what she said constitutes an agreement. But in the future, get it in writing.

JudyKayTee · May 29, 2012, 09:54 AM

Not sure if this is the place but, Scott, you've done some great work here. Really great work!

I know you neither want nor need the applause, but...

Evo630hp · May 29, 2012, 11:45 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

That's actually good for you. If you can prove the children were with her for other weekends, it will severely damage her credibility.

Yes, what she said constitutes an agreement. But in the future, get it in writing.

OK Scott I'll keep you posted thank you for the advice... and I do really appreciate everything tank for the help