Hi I'm from California I got quick question... me and my X-wife got joint custody of 4 minor children (father) I got the kids on the weekdays and she got the kids on the weekend... I I formed my wife that I'm taking the kids to Utah and I'm keeping the kids for the weekend bcoz were going out of town just to drop of my brother to Utah... we only stay in Utah fr 2 days and we come back right away after me and my family drop my brother we went back right away to California right after and now my wife took me too court or they do the exparty notice that they said I kidnap or abduct my own children now she got the temporary sole custody of the kids and we got the court date on the 30th of this month... my mom going to testify that we don't have any intention to take the kids away from their mother do u think the picture taken in Utah and recipt from the hotel that we stay... U think that will help my case

If what your saying is true. Then you need a lawyer. What proof do you have that you told her you were going and when you were going to return ?

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Originally Posted by Evo630hp

I got the kids on the weekdays and she got the kids on the weekend... I I formed my wife that I'm taking the kids to Utah and I'm keeping the kids for the weekend

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And that's where you made your mistake. Your wife has the children on weekends. You can't "inform" her you are taking the children, you have to ASK her permission since you are keeping the children for what is HER time.

And if she said no, then you could not take the children or you would have to go to court for permission.

If your ex has an attorney you better get one. Even if she doesn't you should have one. I don't think she can make the charges stick. But the judge is not going to look kindly on your defy the court ordered visitation.

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Originally Posted by califdadof3

If what your saying is true. Then you need a lawyer. What proof do you have that you told her you were going and when you were going to return ?

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I've been asking her for the past 2months and I remind her a month before and couple days before we go to Utah it's in my statement already that I did all she said take the kids but I'm not going to give you money and she slam the door... do that one count or no?

If you can prove that, you should have no problems

[QUOTE=ScottGem;3129573]And that's where you made your mistake. Your wife has the children on weekends. you can't "inform" her you are taking the children, you have to ASK her permission since you are keeping the children for what is HER time.
[QUOTE=evo630hp I've been asking her and informed her for the past 2 months and couple days before we go to Utah all she said is take the kids but I'm not gonna give you money anymore do that one count or no? And u think it will help that my mom gonna testify and we got some picture and recipt from the hotel that we stay at and to prove that I did not kidnap my own kids u think that will help a little bit...and u think in ur own opinion u thin I can get the kids back or at least re-enstate the custody on me bcoz they accusing me that I kidnap my own children?
And if she said no, then you could not take the children or you would have to go to court for permission.

If your ex has an attorney you better get one. Even if she doesn't you should have one. I don't think she can make the charges stick. But the judge is not going to look kindly on your defy the court ordered visitation.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Evo630hp;3129645]

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

And that's where you made your mistake. Your wife has the children on weekends. you can't "inform" her you are taking the children, you have to ASK her permission since you are keeping the children for what is HER time.

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do u think that's bad on my part I've been crying and I don't know what to do... I miss my kids I'm just scared loose my kids is there any advice u can give me in your own opinion

What exactly are the child custody/visitation ruling, and/or parenting plan? You might want to re-read it all. You write you have had joint physically custody does that include both of you having shared legal custody? You have had them more than her, so does this mean you have been the primary custodial parent? Were allowances included for reasonable emergency situations during custodial time with the children, where you or she needed to keep them longer therefore crossing-over into the others parent's time with them? Also, was there an "Automatic Temporary Restraining Order" in affect preventing either of you from removing the child/children from the state during the time in question? Perhaps asking for a modification or another evaluation addressing custody of the children might be favorable before you are prevented from seeing them freely with supervised visitation only. Defying your ex-wife is one thing, but defying a court ruling is a bigger problem, as I'm sure you now realize. I think if I were you, I would humble myself in the court room and formally apologize to the mother of your children and to the court for your lack of respect in not honoring what is the best interest of your children. They deserve their time with their mother as much as their time with you and now your time with them is jeopardized, but not hopeless, I would think. Good luck and I hope you and their mother can work out an amenable solution for the sake of your children.

You should have gotten it in writing that you had permission to take the children. But, if you can show that she knew you wanted to take the children and that she did not specifically forbid it, then the judge is not likely to rule against you.

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Originally Posted by FirstChair

What exactly are the child custody/visitation ruling, and/or parenting plan? You might want to re-read it all. You write you have had joint physically custody does that include both of you having shared legal custody? You have had them more than her, so does this mean you have been the primary custodial parent? Were allowances included for reasonable emergency situations during custodial time with the children, where you or she needed to keep them longer therefore crossing-over into the others parents time with them? Also, was there an "Automatic Temporary Restraining Order" in affect preventing either of you from removing the child/children from the state during the time in question? Perhaps asking for a modification or another evaluation addressing custody of the children might be favorable before you are prevented from seeing them freely with supervised visitation only. Defying your ex-wife is one thing, but defying a court ruling is a bigger problem, as I’m sure you now realize. I think if I were you, I would humble myself in the court room and formally apologize to the mother of your children and to the court for your lack of respect in not honoring what is the best interest of your children. They deserve their time with their mother as much as their time with you and now your time with them is jeopardized, but not hopeless, I would think. Good luck and I hope you and their mother can work out an amenable solution for the sake of your children.

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Please read more carefully if your going to answer questions in the law board. Your post doesn't make sense from the OP's standpoint and there isn't legal advice in it. We try to be as accurate as possible with the information given.

[QUOTE=Evo630hp;3129650]

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Originally Posted by Evo630hp

do u think that's bad on my part I've been crying and I don't know what to do... I miss my kids I'm just scared loose my kids is there any advice u can give me in your own opinion

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Its normal to have depression during separation. You just need to get it together so you don't blow it at this important junction.

Prove that you made her aware. Bring 3 copies of everything. Stand your ground and don't fall apart. This is no reason for a custody change. The judge shouldn't allow it so long as you have evidence to go with your side. Did you make a mistake? Most likely. But that doesn't warrant anything of this level. At most it warrants a remandment for contempt of court. Its not kidnpping. You haven't been arrested nor is the FBI looking for you.

Get real with yourself and get right.

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Originally Posted by califdadof3

Please read more carefully if your going to answer questions in the law board. Your post doesnt make sense from the OP's standpoint and there isnt legal advice in it. We try to be as accurate as possible with the information given.

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I disagree with you. He asked for an OPINION and I gave it. He can either accept it or not. You are suggesting he follow the letter of the law. I am suggesting he follow the spirit of the law and neither of us is wrong. My suggestion might be a resolve to bring the best interest if the children back into focus. It isn't always about being right, more important it is about having peace between a father and a mother for what is the best interest of the children... pleasant and happy parents. We have not heard the other side here and it is by belief that parents can work out their own parenting plan, after a divorce, if they truly love their children and have their best interest first and foremost in mind.

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Originally Posted by FirstChair

I disagree with you. He asked for an OPINION and I gave it. He can either accept it or not. You are suggesting he follow the letter of the law. I am suggesting he follow the spirit of the law and neither of us is wrong. My suggestion might be a resolve to bring the best interest if the children back into focus. It isn't always about being right, more important it is about having peace between a father and a mother for what is the best interest of the children...pleasant and happy parents. We have not heard the other side here and it is by belief that parents can work out their own parenting plan, after a divorce, if they truly love their children and have their best interest first and foremost in mind.

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I agree that parents can hammer out their own plans. But here is the situation as I see it.

1) The OP had taken the children out of state for a 2 day period.

2) It interfered with a current court order. Parenting plan was already in affect.

3) Ex claims he kidnapped the child (parental kidnapping)

4) Ex gets an exparte motion through the courts which include a temporary restraining order removing the children.


To me that isn't anything to do with the spirit of the law nor good parenting on the mothers part. It is a spiteful move to control the children as the OP was the primary custodial parent.

At this point they need to follow the law as it is written until the hearing. If they don't they can lose custody of the children forever. A restraining order knows no spirit. They are for very strict situations and are not meant to be played around with.

According to the OP, the mother was aware of this pending trip for a while and she had agreed to it. So the OP has nothing to apologize for, If anything, the mother needs to apologize for using this as a ploy to get him back in court. Make sure you read the whole thread.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

According to the OP, the mother was aware of this pending trip for a while and she had agreed to it. So the OP has nothing to apologize for, If anything, the mother needs to apologize for using this as a ploy to get him back in court. Make sure you read the whole thread.

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Yes she knows that I'm taking the kids for the weekend and she knows that I'm taking the kids to Utah I did ask her and remind her 2 months before and a month before I did remind her and couple days before me and the kids went to my Xwife house to ask her again all she said U CAN TAKE THE KIDS BUT IM NOT Going to GIVE YOU ANYMORE MONEY is that count as a yes or no? And do u think the picture from Utah and recipt from the hotel will help to proved that we don't have any intention to kidnap my own children and we came back after 2days and my mom going to testify

How old are the children? Can they testify that the mother knew and agreed? The hotel receipts probably won't help, But a reservation confirmation showing only a 2 day reservation might.

Did you or the children call the mother while away? Those records may also help.

It's going to come down to who agreed to what. Support and visitation are two entirely different things. If the Court finds it reasonable and believable that you AKSED her, REMINDED her, she AGREED, then you are all right.

Of course, the argument against that is if she agreed, why were you charged? Obviously she could have agreed and then lied, said she didn't, to be mean and vindictive - but you would have to prove that.

I don't know that the receipt proves anything other than you spent two days in Utah.

If your mother has first-hand knowledge of your conversations with the children's mother that will be very helpful testimony. If she does not, only knows what you told her, her testimony won't make any difference.

Again - it should have been in writing but it's too late now.

I think you have a good legal argument and you've received very good advice. Just try to remain calm. This is about law and how the law is enforced, not about emotion or what should happen in a perfect World. What do I think? I think the mother took advantage of the situation. Does that opinion matter in the grand scheme of things? No, it does not.

Did you vacate where you lived? Get an affidavits from your landlord or neighbors that you didn't move out. Basically anything to corroborate that you did not move out and/or intended to return will help convince the court that her charges are bogus.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

How old are the children? Can they testify that the mother knew and agreed? The hotel receipts probably won't help, But a reservation confirmation showing only a 2 day reservation might.

Did you or the children call the mother while away? Those records may also help.

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I got 8yrs 6yrs 5yrs and 3yrs I min I got confirmation it's under my mom name bcoz mom is with us when we drop of my brother to Utah

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

Did you vacate where you lived? Get an affidavits from your landlord or neighbors that you didn't move out. Basically anything to corroborate that you did not move out and/or intended to return will help convince the court that her charges are bogus.

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no we did not go anywhere