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    bandit77ta's Avatar
    bandit77ta Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 8, 2011, 03:22 AM
    Dating a virgin and need advice
    I'm 23 years old dating a 19 year old virgin. I asked her if it was because of religion, and she said it was because her friend had a kid at 16 and was freaked out by it and it wasn't a big deal.

    Does she mean that sex isn't a big deal or her virginity. I don't want to make her uncomfortable by asking and I don't want to make her do anything she doesn't want to do.
    DaniCalifornia's Avatar
    DaniCalifornia Posts: 655, Reputation: 152
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    #2

    Nov 8, 2011, 03:24 AM
    She'll make it clear when she's ready, don't pressure her into it.

    X Dani
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #3

    Nov 8, 2011, 03:28 AM
    It means exactly what she said. Her friend had a baby at 16 and she is not ready for that responsibility.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #4

    Nov 8, 2011, 09:37 AM
    As the others said... she's intelligent enough to know the risks that go with it... and she isn't willing to take them.

    Don't pressure her... when she's ready you will know, the line when pressure becomes attempted rape, or rape isn't a clear one... but it is one you don't want following you the rest of your life.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #5

    Nov 8, 2011, 01:08 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by bandit77ta View Post
    I'm 23 years old dating a 19 year old virgin. I asked her if it was because of religion and she said no her friend had a kid at 16 and was freaked out by it and it wasn't a big deal. Does she mean that sex isn't a big deal or her virginity. I don't want to make her uncomfortable by asking and I don't want to make her do anything she doesn't want to do.

    You don't want to MAKE her do anything she doesn't want to do?

    If you are dating her and discussing her virgin state, why would you hesitate to ask her why unless for whatever reason you either don't believe her OR think you can change her mind?

    Ask her which she meant - I don't think she meant that sex isn't a big deal and I don't think she meant that her virginity isn't a big deal. I think she meant she's not having sex with you at this point in time.

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