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alvin28 · Mar 23, 2011, 09:53 PM

I in love with a girl that has a long distance relationship with someone. I told I her I have fallen for her, She tol she does not what she feels if she loves me too.. She is feeling guilty because she has a boyfriend but they are so far away from each other. The hard part is, she told me she love her boyfriend. I told her I will let go but she do not want me to, I want to fight for my love for her. Please I need to know what to do?

Alty · Mar 23, 2011, 09:54 PM

You do the right thing and leave her alone. If she wants to be with you she needs to choose. She can't have her boyfriend and play with you too.

The fact that she hasn't broken up with her boyfriend to be with you tells you plain and simple that she's not interested.

amicon · Mar 24, 2011, 12:25 AM

She has a boyfriend=she's in a relationship.

Time to back off and let this go.

I wish · Mar 24, 2011, 08:41 AM

Check out this thread for insights: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ip-463250.html

You already made your move. The ball is on her side of the court. However, it seems to me that she loves her boyfriend and is going to remain committed. You can't force her to break up with her boyfriend to be with you.

How well do you know each other? How long have you known each other? How old are you guy?

southamerica · Mar 24, 2011, 08:59 AM

I've never tried a long distance relationship, but I can imagine how hard it is. Especially when someone at home is giving you face-to-face attention that you're missing from your loved one.

I imagine the only source of her confusion is distance, not lack of love. You need to stop confusing her, and you need to stop leading yourself on. She is committed to her boyfriend, and you need to respect that commitment the way you'd want another guy respecting you.

talaniman · Mar 24, 2011, 09:15 AM

She has a boyfriend, and she won't back off from him. That simple. So you back off, and keep your dignity and self respect. Its foolish to fight for your love, that's not love, its selfish stubbornness. You want what she has, and are taking advantage of someone who has few options because of her commitment to another.

What's funny though, guys like you who don't mind her cheating or dumping a boyfriend for you, often are the ones who are to insecure to even be in a healthy adult relationship.

Fight for your dignity and self respect, NOT your love for another that has NOT been returned. She likes the attention, but not the love friend.

alvin28 · Mar 24, 2011, 03:41 PM

I told her I will stop, but she does not want to stop.. she keeps on calling me and I cannot help it but to answer her call..

Alty · Mar 24, 2011, 03:49 PM

Originally Posted by alvin28

I told her I will stop, but she does not want to stop.. she keeps on calling me and I cannot help it but to answer her call..

Then tell her that she has to choose, because what she's doing right now is leading you on, and cheating on her boyfriend who she claims to love.

She can't have both of you, she has to choose one.

Also, you can avoid her calls. It's easy. Don't pick up the phone when she calls, or tell her you can't talk. She'll get the hint sooner or later.

You're allowing her to use you. You're allowing yourself to think you have a chance. If she really wanted to be with you she'd be calling her boyfriend and breaking up with him. Instead she's calling you and leading you on.

Is that really the type of girl you want as a girlfriend? If she can cheat once, she can cheat again. Think about it. She's emotionally cheating with you and she claims to love her boyfriend. Doesn't sound like love to me, and you'll be treated exactly the same way.

alvin28 · Mar 24, 2011, 03:54 PM

I told her I will stay away from her because I do not want to complicate things but she won't allow me. She keeps on calling me and I can't help but to answer her call.

Thanks.. You are right... thank you

Alty · Mar 24, 2011, 04:00 PM

Originally Posted by alvin28

I told her I will stay away from her because I do not want to complicate things but she wont allow me. She keeps on calling me and I can't help but to answer her call.

She won't allow you?

Are you her slave? Are you her puppy?

Funny, I've never let anyone "allow" me anything, especially when it came to getting away from them.

She sounds pretty messed up, very controlling.

Again, what do you see in her?

Alty · Mar 24, 2011, 04:01 PM

Thanks.. You are right... thank you

No problem.

Sometimes it's hard to see what a mess things are until someone points them out.

This relationship has red flags all over it.

Trust me, you'll find a girl that's not only available, but wants to be with you and only you.

This girl isn't it.