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nena424310 · Feb 21, 2011, 04:57 PM

My ex took my son and will not let me see him. I tried calling the cops but they can't do anything because he is the father.. I came down here to tx with my the father of my son and I was trying to go to PA with my parents because I don't have a job,car,or anything in TX and he has a job,car and help in TX. So I'm scared that when we go to court they will get that on me or can they? What can I do? I can't get a job because I have a 4year old from another "man" and I have no babysitter. I need advice asap please.

AK lawyer · Feb 21, 2011, 05:33 PM

Originally Posted by nena424310

... I can't get a job because i have a 4year old from another "man" and ...

Why is "man" in quotes?

ScottGem · Feb 21, 2011, 05:43 PM

Until a court sets custody and visitation rules, the legal father has the right to take the child. What he doesn't have is the right to keep that child from its mother. If you go into court, the court will frown on his refusing you contact. On the other hand, you state you had planned on moving back to PA. This reinforces his action to to hold onto the child. But again he can't refuse you contact.

If his reasoning was to keep the child in TX so he could be a part of his life, then its likely you will have to remain in TX or allow him primary custody with getting visitation.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 21, 2011, 05:50 PM

Well if you have my child and we were together in Texas but you were getting ready to leave me and take my son to PA. I most likely would have keep the child also to be sure he did not leave the state where I could not see him.

You seem to forget the child is both of yours, not just yours. Most likely unless there is something else wrong he will get joint custody and you will get joint but you will have to stay in Texas with the child, so the father does not lose his rights to see the child.

Next get over it, so you have a 4 year old, get a job, single mothers of 4 year old do every day. If you are low income, normally the state has programs to help with day care depending on your income.

nena424310 · Feb 22, 2011, 04:40 PM

Because he isn't a man. Lol.

nena424310 · Feb 22, 2011, 04:44 PM

Im trying to leave cause he cant/ will not help me out and I don't have no one here in TX but I will not leave my child behind. I tried to work visiting days with him but he just wants the baby to himself.

Lilylaw · Mar 12, 2011, 11:43 PM

Go to family law sue for joint custody and sole physical custody of the child to you. Â It is very unlikely that the father will get physical custody due the child's age Â Â ( unless you've got issues drugs endangering child Â and he can prove it) Â he'll have to give child support. Once you file paperwork with the court, serve him, then set a date for mediation. The mediator will help you get a parenting plan. You can also file for temporary custody orders with the court, they don't like one parent keeping the child from the other.As for the last response ignore him. This is a place for advice, we don't know the whole story, we shouldn't judge, the market sucks right now for jobs. File the paperwork for custody and definitely for support and if he doesn't pay keep after him with child support services. They'll take his license, put a lien on his bank accounts, tax return, property, garnish wages. That's only if you keep on top of it, also make sure payments are made to the state child support services never exchange money between the two of you. Oh and make sure he pays half for day care, health, vision, dental he is equally responsible for all child expenses.

Also is he on the birth certificate as the father? DNA certificate? Just trying to establish how he's deemed the legal father?

Oops didn't finish... since the 2 of you are not married he cannot assume custody until paternity I'd established in the state of Texas. So, until it is established that he is the Legal father I'd think he keeping the child from you is... essentially kidnapping

cdad · Mar 13, 2011, 06:15 AM

Originally Posted by Lilylaw

Go to family law sue for joint custody and sole physical custody of the child to you. Â It is very unlikely that the father will get physical custody due the child's age Â Â ( unless you've got issues drugs endangering child Â and he can prove it) Â he'll have to give child support. Once you file paperwork with the court, serve him, then set a date for mediation. The mediator will help you get a parenting plan. You can also file for temporary custody orders with the court, they don't like one parent keeping the child from the other.As for the last response ignore him. This is a place for advice, we don't know the whole story, we shouldn't judge, the market sucks right now for jobs. File the paperwork for custody and definitely for support and if he doesn't pay keep after him with child support services. They'll take his license, put a lien on his bank accounts, tax return, property, garnish wages. That's only if you keep on top of it, also make sure payments are made to the state child support services never exchange money between the two of you. Oh and make sure he pays half for day care, health, vision, dental he is equally responsible for all child expenses.

Also is he on the birth certificate as the father? DNA certificate? Just trying to establish how he's deemed the legal father?

Oops didn't finish....since the 2 of you are not married he cannot assume custody until paternity I'd established in the state of Texas. So, until it is established that he is the Legal father I'd think he keeping the child from you is....essentially kidnapping

Wow. Not only are you all over the place on this one you give conflicting advice for your own advice. You suggest for the OP to get the child and have full physical custody yet you suggest the father pay half of everything and the mother doesn't even have the means to support the child and is wanting to remove the child from the state.

Your advice should be ignored as it follows no true legal path and leads to no solution for the OP.

Lilylaw · Mar 13, 2011, 02:45 PM

Unfortunately the law states that joint custody means that the parents have rights to see the child jointly. As for sole physical custody it denotes who the child will physically live with. One parent must be custodial with rights being the custodian while the other is non-custodial.

Also again we do not know the whole story, the ex-boyfriend needs to establish paternity to the child before he has any say. So if she doesn't have means to live and she has to go home to parents then she can. What I advised is how it works, sorry guy.

ScottGem · Mar 13, 2011, 03:03 PM

Originally Posted by Lilylaw

Unfortunately the law states that joint custody means that the parents have rights to see the child jointly. As for sole physical custody it denotes who the child will physically live with. One parent must be custodial with rights being the custodian while the other is non-custodial.

Also again we do not know the whole story, the ex-boyfriend needs to establish paternity to the child before he has any say. So if she doesnt have means to live and she has to go home to parents then she can. What I advised is how it works, sorry guy.

Wrong again. There are two types of custody, physical and legal. Legal custody refers to a parent's right to make decisions in reference to the child's rearing. While it is rarer for a parent to have joint legal custody with no physical custody or visitation, it is possible.

Sole physical custody means just that, the parent with sole physical custody has full rights to control physical access. When a parent is awarded visitation, then the custodial parent becomes the PRIMARY custodian, not the sole custodian.

True we don't know the whole story. But the OP stated the cops refused to do anything because he is the father. This infers that he can prove legal paternity. And it would also infer that he has at least joint legal and physical custody which would allow him to legally prevent the mother from taking the child from his possession.

What it boils down to is the OP HAS to go to court to establish custody.

Lilylaw · Mar 13, 2011, 03:28 PM

Oh okay so I'm wrongs on the"sole"!! The courts usually awards as follows:
Petitioner and respondent will be awarded joint legal custody and petitioner is awarded the physical custody of said minor...
What follows next are usually the agreed upon visitation (through mediation) of the respondents rights to child
Then the child support is awarded
... ohhhh
Then medical insurance is established at a low cost through respondent's work if avail. Otherwise the cost is halfed, just like stating that he too is half responsible
Oh and the petioner is the person who files first
The respondent is the one who's being sued
That is an example of an actual case, tada!!

ScottGem · Mar 13, 2011, 03:35 PM

Originally Posted by Lilylaw

The courts usually awards as follows:

The operative word there is "usually". But we were not asked what will usually happen, we have a SPECIFIC situation here. In a specific state subject to specific laws. We also do not have a question about support. We are dealing with an issue of custody solely at this point. First deal with the question, then you can discuss generalities. That's why your responses here were not very good.

cdad · Mar 13, 2011, 03:41 PM

Originally Posted by Lilylaw

Oh okay so I'm wrongs on the"sole" !!!! The courts usually awards as follows:
Petitioner and respondent will be awarded joint legal custody and petitioner is awarded the physical custody of said minor.......
What follows next are usually the agreed upon visitation (through mediation) of the respondents rights to child
Then the child support is awarded
.....ohhhh
Then medical insurance is established at a low cost through respondent's work if avail. Otherwise the cost is halfed, just like stating that he too is half responsible
Oh and the petioner is the person who files first
The respondent is the one who's being sued
That is an example of an actual case, tada!!!

There is nothing in law that states the petioner will be granted custodial parents rights. Also many if not most couples can't seem to agree on custody and its usually left to the judge to decide. In cases of joint physical custody there may not even be child support ordered. And low cost medical insurance?? Not hardly. Its up to both parents to carry coverage of the child by the means needed for doing so. Could be state aid and a private policy through work such as a family plan. No such thing as low cost. You pay what the policy says.

Im not sure where your getting your ideas from but that is real world law. Yes there is a bias in the courts but its nothing like you describe.

Lilylaw · Mar 13, 2011, 03:44 PM

Let her determine that, you didn't ask the question... the advice is truthful and how she needs to proceed. You have no say what's good or bad, you didn't ask! :-p

cdad · Mar 13, 2011, 03:50 PM

Originally Posted by Lilylaw

Let her determine that, you didn't ask the question...the advice is truthful and how she needs to proceed. You have no say what's good or bad, you didn't ask!! :-p

Actually I have a lot of say when it comes to posts on the board. We here at AMHD take pride in the answers given and we also go through them for accuracy. If they don't meet the standards or are blatantly false we either make a correction or in some cases where it's a dangerous answer it will get deleted. Its part of a moderators job to keep a certain fluidity to the answer given.

Alty · Mar 13, 2011, 03:55 PM

Lilylaw, I'm not a legal expert, and don't claim to be, but I do know the experts on this site, and they're the best of the best.

At this point I think we should ask what you're qualifications are. Are you just googling to find answers? Are you a lawyer? Where are you getting your info?

Lilylaw · Mar 13, 2011, 04:09 PM

My credientials I currently practice family law

cdad · Mar 13, 2011, 04:19 PM

Originally Posted by Lilylaw

@califdadof3 the wording is exactly a true example..whether the petioner or respondent is awared whatever, the medical insurance portion is an exact wording as well!!!! it's an example!!!! The court will not see you unless both parties have:
1) Attended pre-mediation class to get you prepared for mediation
2) Mediation
3) the judge will award with the advice of the mediators findings

As for the low cost, where economic situations differ from person to person, if the insurance is avail free through work, kudos, if not and it's avail at a cost that will not cause a hardship then that is what is meant. If the cost will cause a hardship then the cost is split between parents.

All 3 areas are discussed in mediation
What you can't agree upon will be covered in court.

If you still don't believe me then don't and have it all be a complete surprise.

Do your own research but don't comment when you haven't

Maybe this will help you since your choice of wording seems to be poor when "quoting the law".

And yes I have done a lot of research for family law in many countries too. But back to YOUR research. According to what I find there is no mediation going on in custody cases in the state of Texas at this time.

Sorry but your statement is wrong when you say that. And here is your proof.

Quote from site:

Section 153.601 et seq. are intended to assist parties in minimizing conflicts in their post-divorce parenting through (1) creating a "parenting plan" which establishes the parents’ rights and duties with respect to the children and which provides procedures for resolution of future disputes and (2) by court-appointment of "an impartial third party" to assist the parents in developing and implementing their "parenting plan". The court may appoint this "parenting coordinator" over a parent’s objection in a "high conflict case." The parenting coordinator is paid by the parties, like a mediator, except for hardship exceptions. She has no power to impose a solution and may not testify in Court. (end quote)

Note is does say like. Which means simaler but not the same.

For complete text you can look it up here.

Texas Child Custody Dallas Divorce Attorney

cdad · Mar 13, 2011, 04:25 PM

Originally Posted by Lilylaw

Apparently to answer questions here is impossible!

No its not impossible. Its just your answers need to conform with those areas where the OP has the question from or at least conform to general guidelines in family law. Since you have said you practice family law then you know the power of words and how in usung them they can lead to all kinds of directions intended or not. We welcome your input here. Its just a matter of maybe reading a bit to get the hang of it. That's all there really is to it.

Alty · Mar 13, 2011, 04:52 PM

Lily, why so defensive?

You said you practice family law. So you're a lawyer?

It's not impossible to answer questions here, but when your answers don't make sense, you have to expect to be called on it. The legal experts on this site have shown their worth, they've shown that they know what they're talking about, time and time again.

You have 9 posts. You say you practice family law. Based on your answers, and the fact that not one of our legal experts agrees with those answers, and yes, there are lawyers among our experts, your "facts" and "expertise" are in question. So, if you are right, and know that you're right, you'll need to prove it. Don't just say "I'm right, ha!" Show the experts where you're getting your "facts", what you're basing your posts on.

One thing I do know about all the experts here, title or no title, if they're wrong, and you prove they're wrong, they'll admit it. So far you haven't proven your case, not at all. It's your word against all of the legal experts on this site.

So show everyone where you're getting your info. Don't just expect people to take your word for it.

The legal forum is based on facts, not just what you believe is true.