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diamond75 · Sep 24, 2008, 04:23 PM

Entire story merged

Hey everyone!
Well, in a nutshell, My ex and I broke up about a year and a half ago. For the first year he wouldn't talk to me, PERIOD!! I couldn't eat or sleep for months, I was so sick over our breakup. Just recently, we took a week vacation to las vegas and we had a great time. We acted as if we were together again and it was so nice.. I have remained there for him whenever he needs me, and for any reason he may need me. I guess that's where I messed up. When we started talking again, he told me that he did still love me, and from time to time, he makes comments about moving with him and asking me if I could be happy in a different state with him and just chill?
Oh, when he broke up with me I was 4months pregnant. I had the baby right before we started back talking, and I gave the baby up, not knowing if I was ever going to see him again?
What should I do? I do want him back, BAD

THANKS

liz28 · Sep 24, 2008, 04:37 PM

If he wants you back and you want him back, why are you confused? If your are doing things that couple do by going on trips and such, what's going on?

diamond75 · Sep 24, 2008, 04:49 PM

I am confused because I feel as if he is playing games with me. Don't know how he truly feels. He made a comment to me one day that he "always knows where I am" What's that about?

diamond75 · Sep 24, 2008, 05:10 PM

He didn't say that he wanted me back... He just said that he still loves me

liz28 · Sep 24, 2008, 05:17 PM

Then maybe you shouldn't hang around him as much. He might just want some benefits from you. When your around him does he ask to have sex with you? Stop doing things that boyfriends and girlfriends does because it can make it confusing.

redwee74 · Sep 24, 2008, 05:18 PM

He is just playing you, you are something to do while nothing else is going on. He does not like being alone and you are his permanent spare. Quit it. Leave him alone don't answer calls don't call, talk, text, etc. him. Go on it is hard but you can do it. If he want a real relationship with you, you and him would already be back together.

diamond75 · Sep 24, 2008, 05:29 PM

I've tried to get over him, but the love is still too strong. He was the first man I can honestly say "i'm in love with", and I'm 33yrs old. He is 34. Too old to be playing games
When I make comments to him about me moving on, and why it's so easy for him to move on, tell him to help me move on, he doesn't respond

ntbntb78 · Sep 24, 2008, 05:50 PM

If it make you sick I think its time to move on

diamond75 · Sep 24, 2008, 06:16 PM

Hey guys, it's me again...

Took some of your guys advice and let my ex know that I found out he was either dating another female or sleeping with another female, and that I couldn't bring myself to continue to help him out i.e... financially, emotionally. His response was" well then don't call me anymore and I won't call you. I'm tired of you calling me with this BS, etc...
Is he mad because I confronted him about another woman, and The only woman who he could ever count on (me) has now decided to let him go... Did I do the right thing?
Oh, and I DO NOT know if he truly does have someone. I would think not if he goes on vacation with me and is at my beck and call
Help

Ash123 · Sep 24, 2008, 06:24 PM

Of course -- don't call him anymore. You did the RIGHT thing.

The BIGGER question is how are you going to get a guy that respects you and is a friend to you? It sounds like you have had a rough time and a great career and good education are not happening right now. I would try to take a class that will further your life and train you. It is the key to your survival and moving somehere better and meeting men that don't want to just take your money and get you preganant.

ntbntb78 · Sep 24, 2008, 06:26 PM

Break up

chuff · Sep 24, 2008, 06:37 PM

So when he broke up with you, he didn't want to be a father but now that you've given the child up, he's all for using you for sex again. Somehow I bet you could do better.

diamond75 · Sep 24, 2008, 06:45 PM

Sex and money apparently! When I first found out I was pregnant, I asked him if he wanted me to keep it and he said yes. Said he could 't father the child without us being together. I know he was truly in love with me while we were together. He cried about us in front of my son.

ylaira · Sep 24, 2008, 06:52 PM

When in pleasure you are together but when in trouble, you are alone. Wan't to go back the same cycle again? Men like this doesn't have balls and only make your life more complicated. You don't need to be 43 to decide well for yourself. Get rid of him... for good!

chuff · Sep 24, 2008, 07:03 PM

Originally Posted by ylaira

Men like this doesn't have balls !

This is truly one of the worst tools I think we've heard about here. Having no balls just doesn't say it enough, this is the ultimate coward, leaving a woman and baby behind and then actually taking the woman back after she gives up the child. I just can not wrap my head around such cowardly, gutless behavior. I almost wonder if men who beat women are better then this, they at least don't run from then when they get pregnant and force the woman to give up the child. This is emotional torture and it's mind numbing to think he's even considered for a second chance.

Diamond, would you want your child dating a douche like this? Why then suffer yourself like this.

chuff · Sep 24, 2008, 07:08 PM

You need to get away from this and get your head back on straight.

cowboyjai · Sep 24, 2008, 07:34 PM

You did the right thing.

I read a quote somewhere that sort of applies here: if he had enough nerve to cut you loose, you need enough courage to stay gone.

losingit77 · Sep 24, 2008, 07:49 PM

You did the right thing. Stop concentrating or concerning yourself with how he feels or what he is thinking.

Take of yourself and stay away from him. Don't contact him and stop allowing him access to you so you can move on with your life and get what you truly deserve. You're better than this bs.

liz28 · Sep 24, 2008, 07:52 PM

Originally Posted by diamond75

I've tried to get over him, but the love is still too strong. He was the first man I can honestly say "i'm in love with", and I'm 33yrs old. He is 34. too old to be playin games
When i make comments to him about me movin on, and why it's so easy for him to move on, tell him to help me move on, he doesn't respond

You don't need his help for you to move on that's something you do without him. Having him hanging around will only make it worse for and you will continue fall deeper and deeper in love with him and relive the heartache that you already been through with him. Yes 34 is too old to be paying games but are you really surprise he is? He can and will only do what you allow him too and then it will bd partly your fault. You already know what type of man he is, this isn't new to you, so why put yourself through the motions. You need start saying you can move instead of saying you can't. Change your thinking process and you'll be surprise at what you can do and realize how strong you really is. There're plenty guys out there who aren't game players and for real but this one isn't. Time to close the door and buried the key and keep him in the past.

JBeaucaire · Sep 24, 2008, 10:05 PM

When confronted with the discovery of wrong-doing, a very effective technique is to not only not deny it, but to snarl rudely back at the accuser in a careless way. He knows he's caught, he knows you're dumping him, and this lets him trick YOU into feeling guilty about it after you hang up with him.

Did it work? I bet it did. Don't be fooled. He's done you a huge favor. Thank him in your mind and don't look back.