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teargral · Jan 13, 2011, 09:57 AM

My step daughter is 14 yrs old. Last night, she asked my hubby to allow her going to her friend birthday party at the hotel and stay over night with all her friends one night in the hotel. My hubby said no, she can't stay in the hotel. He only can take her to come there for her friend birthday in couple hours and he will pick her up. My step daughter said no, she want to hang out and stay over nigth with her friends. She said a birthday girl's parent will be there also and all her friends are female. If he doesn't allow, she doesn't want to go anymore. Then she start to give my hubby a very bad attitude. My hubby had to sit down talk to her for 3 hours to make her understand that we care for her. (FYI: my step d said: a birthday girl's parents are also divorce and either of her mom or her dad just remarried. They celebrate her birthday in the hole because they don't want the kids hang out at the house, the kids might steal their stuff)
As a parent, do you allow your little kid to stay over night in the hotel with her friends? What do you think about a bithday girl's parent? I just don't understand that why they allow all the little kids spend a night in the hotel?

AK lawyer · Jan 13, 2011, 10:00 AM

Is there a legal issue here?

smoothy · Jan 13, 2011, 10:01 AM

I see all sorts or red flags waving here...

What sort of parent rents a hotel room for their children to have a party in?

Do you actually know its really a party or what I suspect... nothing at all like a party? But somebodies "way-to-old-for-them" adult boyfriend doing something they have no business doing.

Definitely NOT... is my answer.

THis should be under a different forum. Such as family and children.

teargral · Jan 13, 2011, 10:14 AM

I'm sorry I put it in the wrong forum.

teargral · Jan 13, 2011, 10:17 AM

My step daughter is 14 yrs old. Last night, she asked my hubby to allow her going to her friend birthday party at the hotel and stay over night with all her friends one night in the hotel. My hubby said no, she can't stay in the hotel. He only can take her to come there for her friend birthday in couple hours and he will pick her up. My step daughter said no, she want to hang out and stay over night with her friends. She said a birthday girl's parent will be there also and all her friends are female. If he doesn't allow, she doesn't want to go there anymore. Then she start to give my hubby a very bad attitude and faces. My hubby had to sit down talk to her for 3 hours to make her understand that we care for her. (FYI: my step d said: a birthday girl's parents are also divorce and either of her mom or her dad just remarried. They celebrate her birthday in the hole because they don't want the kids hang out at the house, the kids might steal their stuff)
As a parent, do you allow your little kid to stay over night in the hotel with her friends? What do you think about a bithday girl's parent? I just don't understand that why they allow all the little kids spend a night in the hotel?

NeedKarma · Jan 13, 2011, 10:18 AM

My 10 year old daughter has been to one of those and had a great time. Of course we knew the parents very well who were there the whole time.

jakester · Jan 13, 2011, 10:24 AM

My own opinion... I would never allow that with my child (if I had one). There's absolutely nothing good that can come from allowing young teenagers to spend a night alone at a hotel.

There are just so many things wrong with that. I suppose if the parents had little space in their home and wanted a location for the sleepover to occur, that would be understandable... but the parents should be in the room right next to the girls. To leave them all by themselves overnight at a hotel is pretty outrageous to me. I can't understand that either.

smoothy · Jan 13, 2011, 10:29 AM

Originally Posted by NeedKarma

My 10 year old daughter has been to one of those and had a great time. Of course we knew the parents very well who were there the whole time.

IN the hotel room which is little more than a Master bedroom with a bath? And not a meeting room or restaurant? But 10 year olds wouldn't be up to the same miscief a 14+ year old would be... light years difference in maturity levels there.

No need to get specific about WHY.. its self explanitory.

smoothy · Jan 13, 2011, 10:30 AM

Originally Posted by teargral

i'm sorry i put it in the wrong forum.

A moderator will move it at some point. I made the request.

NeedKarma · Jan 13, 2011, 10:31 AM

Originally Posted by smoothy

IN the hotel room which is little more than a Master bedroom with a bath? and not a meeting room or restaurant?

They had two adjoining rooms with that door in between. They all went to the pool and had pizza and opened gifts. All had fun.

DoulaLC · Jan 13, 2011, 04:50 PM

Even though a parent will be there, have you met the parent? Do you know the kids that will be attending? How many will be there?

I have to wonder what the kids are like if the parent is concerned about one of them stealing their stuff if they have a party at their home!

If you knew the family well, and the kids attending, that would be one thing, but it doesn't sound like that is the case. In that regard, I wouldn't be comfortable letting my 14 year old go either.

If you husband doesn't feel comfortable with the situation, he should stand his ground with his daughter. Give her the choice... she is welcome to go and enjoy the party for a few hours, then come home, or she can skip it altogether.

smoothy · Jan 13, 2011, 04:53 PM

Hotel... 14 year old... tantrum when you had a doubt? Only way my daughter would go to that is if I shaperoned her. I remember being a teenage boy... I remember the games... I remember a classmate who got knocked up at 14 who we never saw at our school again after that got out.

If the bigger the tantrum... the more mischief she was looking forward to participating in. They don't get this upset over casual friends.

Its been a lot of years since I was 14... but I still have a LOT of VERY vivid memories of when I was 14. The kind that scare the hell out of the parents of girls. And I have no reason to believe today's 14 year olds are any better behaved or virtuous than we were 35 years ago.

In fact you got smacked and left if you ever considered asking for what today's kids and some of their parents try to argue ISN'T sex.

Those of you 40+ know exactly what I'm saying.

Better safe than sorry... some things you don't get a second chance on... get over... or forget.

Your daughter might actually be the exception... but in a room full her peers... you can be certain they all aren't.

teargral · Jan 14, 2011, 02:26 PM

Doula C! My husband doesn't feel comfortable with this situation. He told her either she can go enjoy party for a few hours . Then we come to take her home. If she doesn't want to go there for couple hours, we still can buy a gift and she can give it to her birthday friend. He didn't allow her to stay over night and I am so glad that he stand his ground with his daughter. We don't know the parents and we don't know how many kids will be attending. I can't understand what type of parent is this celebrate their teenage kid birthday party at the hotel instead of home. I don't think the other parents will allow their kids to come to a birthday party at the hotel and stay one day over night.there's just so many wrong with that. One moment can regret the rest of our lives.

justcurious55 · Jan 14, 2011, 02:37 PM

There could be lots of reasons the party is at a hotel instead of a house. When I was in middle school, 12 or 13 years old I think, my friend had a sleepover birthday party at a hotel. It wasn't because there was anything wrong with her family, they were doing remodeling at home and didn't want to have people over with all of the mess from it. I was allowed to go because my mother knew my friends mother, knew my friend, and knew most of the other girls going. It wasn't a huge group. The only trouble we got into was for running around too much-turns out the hotel staff didn't like our game of hide and seek as much as we did. After they complained to my friend's mother though she kept us in the hotel room and we played games and then she had her friend from mary kay or avon or someplace come and give us facials and makeovers for fun.

But I agree with your husband, if he doesn't know the parents and the other girls going, then it might not be a good idea for his daughter to spend the night. That was always the deal when I was growing up, if my mom or aunt didn't know the people I didn't go. Although as I got older she was usually OK with just calling parents before I went over to make sure they would be around to chaperon even if she hadn't met them in person yet. But that was when I was closer to 16 and 17 and had already earned her trust.

jenniepepsi · Jan 14, 2011, 03:21 PM

My own opinion is NO.
And your husband needs to stop sitting down and trying to talk to the rude child for hours on end. The answer is NO. if she chooses to pitch a fit and refuse to go just because she can't stay over night, then that is HER loss and problem.

niece324 · Feb 12, 2011, 11:07 AM

Ok really 14 having a tantrum. I see you are protecyive but she's 14 almost grown you shouldve gave her a chance. You people are crazy. I say yes

niece324 · Feb 12, 2011, 11:09 AM

If he knows her parent she should go if not then the answers no

justcurious55 · Feb 12, 2011, 11:44 AM

Niece, two things.
1) this thread is nearly a month old. Chances are the party has come and gone.

2) it's not as black and white as you want to paint it. The OP came looking for opinions. A number of us shared ours. You saying we're all crazy is just rude and disrespectful. And you saying yes or no doesn't matter, it's not a voting matter, it's up to her parents because at 14 years old she is certainly no where near grown up enough to make her own decisions.