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    hunterboy's Avatar
    hunterboy Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 30, 2010, 10:35 PM
    In the State of Missouri, why would someone write caregiver checks to himself?
    My sister is writing checks each month for caregiver services from my mother's account to herself and cashing them. Why would she do this?

    My sister lives rent and board free, pays no utilities and never has. My mother pays all bills for the home and living expenses. My sister pockets all her own money. My parents' wishes were for my sister and I to half everything upon their deaths. However, I know that my sister has required one property in her name already and I fear she will have everything in her name before long and keep me from getting anything. My name was on the accounts but not on her personal acct so I cannot know just how much she is putting into IRA accounts, etc. She is living there completely free with total control of our mother's finances and says there is no money which I doubt. What do I do?
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #2

    Dec 1, 2010, 03:18 AM

    If your mom has a will and an executor, then call on the executor to order an accounting of bank account balances.

    Unless your sister has power of attorney, I don't know how she is doing this.
    Tick
    AK lawyer's Avatar
    AK lawyer Posts: 12,592, Reputation: 977
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    #3

    Dec 1, 2010, 05:01 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by hunterboy View Post
    ... My mother pays all bills for the home and living expenses. ...
    This suggests the mom is still alive.

    Quote Originally Posted by tickle View Post
    If your mom has a will and an executor, then call on the executor to order an accounting of bank account balances.
    ...
    The will won't be effective, and there won't be an executor until after the mother's death. Yes, after that event an accounting can possibly be requested. But that would be a case of closing the barn door after the horses are gone.
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #4

    Dec 1, 2010, 05:13 AM

    Yes, I know the will won't be effective until after death, but as soon as the will is written and signed, an executor is appointed. I just thought this may be a way of getting something done. Someone has to be able to do an accounting of bank accounts and balances, but if the sister has POA, she is doing it legally, and if she doesn't have POA then its fraud, right ?
    Joanrrt's Avatar
    Joanrrt Posts: 5, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    Dec 1, 2010, 06:55 AM
    When my Mom needed in home care we hired someone to live rent and utility free in our home. She was paid wages in addition. The cost was a fraction of the cost of hiring an agency to provide a fraction of time. I don't remember exactly how much we paid her... maybe $800 a month and she was "on duty" 24 hours a day, 5 days per week. The agency cost was $4000 per month for 40 hours per week. Unfortunately it didn't work out because she was an alcoholic and drug addict.
    Is you Mother mentally competent? If she is, it is her choice to spend her money how she wants to. If she is not mentally competent, your sister could be committing elder abuse and a good elder care attorney could be of a huge benefit.
    Good Luck, this is a very stressful time for all involved.
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #6

    Dec 1, 2010, 07:19 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by hunterboy View Post
    What do I do?
    Hello boy:

    Hire a lawyer.

    excon
    AK lawyer's Avatar
    AK lawyer Posts: 12,592, Reputation: 977
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    #7

    Dec 1, 2010, 12:47 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by tickle View Post
    Yes, I know the will wont be effective until after death, but as soon as the will is written and signed, an executor is appointed. ...
    Maybe in Canada. I don't know. But in the 'states, no. A person named as executor in a will is not "appointed" by any official (or by anyone except the testator) and has no authority to do anything until the testator dies.

    Quote Originally Posted by tickle View Post
    ... I just thought this may be a way of getting something done. Someone has to be able to do an accounting of bank accounts and balances, but if the sister has POA, she is doing it legally, and if she doesnt have POA then its fraud, right ?
    OP can ask for the appointment of a conservator, who could probably ask for an accounting. If someone with a POA (an "attorney in fact") has done something suspicious, that person can be audited. So, as Excon says, "Hire a lawyer."
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #8

    Dec 1, 2010, 01:59 PM

    Hi AK, thanks for the clarification.

    Tick
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #9

    Dec 1, 2010, 06:49 PM

    If the sister is taking care of a sick, perhaps disabled elderly parent, of course they should be getting additional pay beyond just room and board. It is a very hard job.

    Why don't you, make arrangements for mom to either live with you 1/2 of the time, or why have you not talked to your mom about your concerns.

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