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Hottrodder246 · Nov 12, 2010, 03:02 PM

I have tried asking her but she kind of blows it off like its nothing... the girl is independent, that I can't deny but darn idkkkk lol

Homegirl 50 · Nov 12, 2010, 04:47 PM

I think you need to stay away from kissing. Don't make this anymore complicated than it is.
Stay in your lane, or get off the road.

Hottrodder246 · Nov 12, 2010, 05:08 PM

OK true true, this may sound stupid, but she is also short with texting too, depending if she is doing something. It doesn't bother me but I notice sometimes I cease to exist lol.

Homegirl 50 · Nov 12, 2010, 05:19 PM

One day you are going to wake up and see the light. You are going to ask yourself "what is the point?" Then you are going to remove yourself from her drama.
Is she worth jumping through all these hoops for?

Hottrodder246 · Nov 12, 2010, 10:47 PM

My mom said almost the same thing, so you think I should just end this and move on?

Homegirl 50 · Nov 13, 2010, 09:06 AM

Yep, I do.

Hottrodder246 · Nov 13, 2010, 10:03 AM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Yep, I do.

I thought so, I'm going to see how our museum visit goes, which is actually today, and decide after that.

talaniman · Nov 13, 2010, 11:16 AM

I think the one thing you should be aware of is that you are NOT a couple. But you still try and act like one and think your giving her space. You are not! You are still available as a hang out buddy and a text friend, when she feels like it and that will never work. I think false hope has made her a distraction for you doing other things, and enjoying other options, and opportunities and you have fallen into the very bad habit of trying to please and appease so things will go smoothly and she will one day make this exclusive and official again.

For you that's dangerous territory, and you will NEVER heal, and gain perspective as to what's really going on. You will accept whatever she puts down as a way to stay in her good graces and you will never ask, or question any of it. You are afraid to rock the boat and upset her right now, and to be honest, that's unhealthy in any relationship. She doesn't have to tell you the truth because you will stay close, so she can blow you off whenever she wishes because there are no consequences for her actions and behaviors.

Once you stop see this as a dating relationship, and stop waiting for romance, you will understand that you are a willing friend, and she has exclusive rights to control the whole friendship thing and she knows she has the option to do as she pleases when she pleases. The sad part is so do you, but you fail to exercise the control you have to be happy without her, and choice to be available whenever SHE is ready.

Not healthy at all, and you should have stopped texting, kissing, and expecting time with her on just her terms, and been doing your own thin a long time ago.

You are but an option when she has time.

Hottrodder246 · Nov 13, 2010, 12:58 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

I think the one thing you should be aware of is that you are NOT a couple. But you still try and act like one and think your giving her space. You are not! You are still available as a hang out buddy and a text friend, when she feels like it and that wil never work. I think false hope has made her a distraction for you doing other things, and enjoying other options, and opportunities and you have fallen into the very bad habit of trying to please and appease so things will go smoothly and she will one day make this exclusive and official again.

For you thats dangerous territory, and you will NEVER heal, and gain perspective as to whats really going on. You will accept whatever she puts down as a way to stay in her good graces and you will never ask, or question any of it. You are afraid to rock the boat and upset her right now, and to be honest, thats unhealthy in any relationship. She doesn't have to tell you the truth because you will stay close, so she can blow you off whenever she wishes because there are no consequences for her actions and behaviors.

Once you stop see this as a dating relationship, and stop waiting for romance, you will understand that you are a willing friend, and she has exclusive rights to control the whole friendship thing and she knows she has the option to do as she pleases when she pleases. The sad part is so do you, but you fail to exercise the control you have to be happy without her, and choice to be available whenever SHE is ready.

Not healthy at all, and you should have stopped texting, kissing, and expecting time with her on just her terms, and been doing your own thin a long time ago.

You are but an option when she has time.

Very well said, I'm going to talk to her, get my feelings out. I'm not going to yell or get angry, just simply get my point across and she doesn't like it then I'm saying goodbye. I will update you guys a little later.

kaka67 · Nov 13, 2010, 08:49 PM

Man everything seems to be on her terms.

She's full of mixed signals, no wonder you are confused.

What is this achieving except for continuing the drama in your life. I say in yours because I think she's happy playing you along while she looks for other options.

And that is cruel.

Homegirl 50 · Nov 14, 2010, 09:22 AM

Your saying good bye should not depend on whether she likes what you have to say or not.
She broke up with you. That should be enough for good bye.
NC is for you, not her.

Hottrodder246 · Nov 24, 2010, 03:14 PM

I have one final update. Today, out of the blue, she ended things. I say out of the blue only because before she did that we were having a blast, going out on dates and what not. No arguments and no b.s. Then today, she randomly says she doenst think we are working and that's that. I'm hurting really bad right now :(. Idk what to do?

talaniman · Nov 24, 2010, 03:34 PM

Originally Posted by Hottrodder246

I have one final update. Today, out of the blue, she ended things. I say out of the blue only because before she did that we were having a blast, going out on dates and what not. No arguments and no b.s. Then today, she randomly says she doenst think we are working and that's that. I'm hurting really bad right now :(. Idk what to do?!

YES YOU DO KNOW WHAT TO DO!! Go completely NO CONTACT, and build a life that you enjoy, that makes you happy without her!! Like we have been saying!

No more ifs, ands, or buts, or excuses!!

Hottrodder246 · Nov 24, 2010, 04:04 PM

I know what to do lol. That statement was more of how I'm feeling, if that makes any sense. But it just sucks how I put work into it and this is what happened. It makes me wonder, as a person, how do you know when a relationship is working or not? I have never admitted this before, but I don't know what a healthy relationship is... and I don't think I can have one until I take control of my life and my anxiety. Its been a problem for awhile, it hurts, but I know in the end it will all come together.

Hottrodder246 · Nov 24, 2010, 04:52 PM

Sorry everyone, I'm not good at handling break ups :(