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mizukage · Oct 31, 2010, 07:39 PM

Threads merged, please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread.

OK well, my best friends loves this girl. And this girl has helped me to "hook up" with my crush over the past month, and now I think I like my best friends crush. I don't know what to do. He really likes her and spending time with her lately let me get to know her and I like her now too. I could really use some help. I don't want to hurt my friend's feelings.

dmx_rock_tech · Oct 31, 2010, 07:48 PM

It depends on what's more important to you:

(1) Actually hooking up with this girl for whatever you're interested in (relationship, one nighter, etc.), or...
(2) Not having your friend see you as a cock-blocking Judas.

Even if you think he has no shot with her, you're not going to convince HIM of that. If you go after her, he will always wonder if you screwed it up for him, regardless of whether you actually manage to "hook up" with her. I'm not sure if he'll hate you more for hooking up with her, or if you try and fail but screw him in the process.

If you just must have both, then I'd wait for him to either lose interest in her, blow it on his own, or convince him that one of you hooking up with her is better than neither of you doing it.

Just my 2 cents. Good luck.

mizukage · Oct 31, 2010, 07:56 PM

Originally Posted by dmx_rock_tech

It depends on what's more important to you:

(1) Actually hooking up with this girl for whatever you're interested in (relationship, one nighter, etc.), or...
(2) Not having your friend see you as a cock-blocking Judas.

Even if you think he has no shot with her, you're not going to convince HIM of that. If you go after her, he will always wonder if you screwed it up for him, regardless of whether or not you actually manage to "hook up" with her. I'm not sure if he'll hate you more for hooking up with her, or if you try and fail but screw him in the process.

If you just must have both, then I'd wait for him to either lose interest in her, blow it on his own, or convince him that one of you hooking up with her is better than neither of you doing it.

Just my 2 cents. Good luck.

Thanks, well I'm not trying to stop his chances, but I'm growing more and more atracted to her. I just don't know what to do. I want to go out with her but him to not like hate me. Thank you for giving your opinon

VRon1 · Oct 31, 2010, 07:57 PM

Don't do it unless you value this new crush over your friend.
Sounds like your crush for this person just happened but your friend's has been there for a while.
You're asking for drama if you start to pursue her.
So I suggest talking to your friend about her. What he feels about you trying to get with her.
He did not call dibs on her so she is technically fair game but seeing how your friend feels will definitely be beneficial for you future relationship with him.

mizukage · Oct 31, 2010, 08:04 PM

Originally Posted by VRon1

Don't do it unless you value this new crush over your friend.
Sounds like your crush for this person just happened but your friend's has been there for a while.
You're asking for drama if you start to pursue her.
So I suggest talking to your friend about her. What he feels about you trying to get with her.
He did not call dibs on her so she is technically fair game but seeing how your friend feels will definitely be beneficial for you future relationship with him.

Thanks, I don't know, I think its pretty even between my friend and her. I just, I hope whatever I choose I hope he's not mad :/

mizukage · Oct 31, 2010, 08:42 PM

I know I just posted something similar to this, but my friend has been there for a long time. She helped me for the past month or two with "hooking up" or go out with my crush. But lately I've been noticing and falling for my friends crush more and more. He really likes her. I just don't know what to do. Do I pick love? Do I pick my friend that's like a brother? What would you do?

Devorameira · Nov 1, 2010, 07:19 AM

I don't think you'd be happy with your friend if he were to try and move in on someone you liked, so why would you even consider doing it to him?

Forget about his "crush" altogether.

VRon1 · Nov 1, 2010, 08:30 AM

I agree that would be a low blow.

I wish · Nov 1, 2010, 11:06 AM

Depends what's more important to you. Do you value this friendship more? Or the girl more?

Furthermore, if you make a move on her, but she rejects you, you risk losing both the girl and your friend. If she does like you back, you risk losing your friend. Either way, if you confessed your felelings, you will most likely lose something.

But right now, you have 2 friends. Does the risks really outweigh the benefits?

mizukage · Nov 1, 2010, 01:50 PM

Bad thing guys, my best friends cursh said she likes me, and I talked to my friend today and he says if I try to make one move, I'm sooo dead, course I told him I was joking, but now I realllyyy don't know what to do!

Cat1864 · Nov 1, 2010, 03:50 PM

What happened to 'your' crush that she was helping you get with?

Personally, I think you need to take a step back and make certain that you aren't mistaking gratitude and friendship for something more.

It is a bit of a red flag that you are jumping from one 'crush' to another so quickly. Try not being around her quite as much and spend time with other people. See if the feeling remains the same or if you develop a new crush.

mizukage · Nov 1, 2010, 04:09 PM

Hmm, your right, I'm thinking about it and I think I really like "my" crush. I don't know what's got into me. Thanks man.

mizukage · Nov 1, 2010, 06:07 PM

Well, there's this girl that I met a while back and I've liked her for a while and I don't know whether its love. I think she's really beautiful, smart, funny, charming, creative, her own person etc. I could go on forever. Some of my friends say I'm over obsessing but she's like my world to me. I've tried going out with her but she rejects me every time. Can you help me? Is it love? Or is it just some crush?

Enigma1999 · Nov 1, 2010, 06:10 PM

Originally Posted by mizukage

well, theres this girl that i met a while back and ive liked her for a while and idk wheather or not its love. i think shes really beautiful,smart,funny,charming,creative,her own person etc. i could go on forever. some of my friends say im over obsessing but shes like my world to me. ive tired going out with her but hse rejects me everytime. can u help me? is it love? or is it just some crush?

You love someone who rejects you?

No, this doesn't sound like true love.

It's puppy love, which is a different kind of love.

If I were you, I wouldn't give her the time of day any more...

Just saying...

Just Dahlia · Nov 1, 2010, 06:30 PM

You are not going to know if you are truly in love unless you actually go out with her and then it's still iffy.
It's a truly difficult emotion, that is hard to define.:)

mizukage · Nov 1, 2010, 07:32 PM

Originally Posted by Enigma1999

You love someone who rejects you??

No, this doesn't sound like true love.

It's puppy love, which is a different kind of love.

If I were you, I wouldn't give her the time of day any more...

Just saying...

Well, its not puppy love, because yeah, she rejects me but I've liked her for a few freaking years.

justcurious55 · Nov 1, 2010, 07:37 PM

If you still have to ask other people if you love someone, the answer is no.

talaniman · Nov 2, 2010, 04:43 AM

This is not a healthy love, nor is it a crush, its failure to face the facts, and take no for an answer, and move on to other things. Yes your behavior is obsessive and juvenile, immature, and annoying.

I think you are a young guy who is just learning about his world and his feelings and have yet to know what to do with them, and I would highly suggest that you look at your own behavior and make some changes.

Just as you keep starting many post here about this crush, so are you acting the same way in your life. Stop guy, being stuck on ideas that are for you, and just learn to stop behaving in such a way. Do you have a teacher, counselor, or parent to talk to?

Enigma1999 · Nov 3, 2010, 02:49 PM

mizukage does not find this helpful : I just didn't find it good

Oh I'm sorry that you didn't find mine or Justcurious55 advice helpful... Oh wait, No I'm not!

First of all, please read the rules of this site to help you better understand how things work around here.

You gave the both of us an unwarranted reddie based off an opinion, NOT fact.

Second, you come on here asking us for advice. People are going to tell you how they feel, sorry if you don't like what we all have to say.

Again my dear, opinion, not fact.

I, however, stand by what I told you the first time.

Your friends are right. You are obsessing. Leave her be. She has made it very well known and obvious that she doesn't want to be with YOU.

Now, if you want to keep obsessing over her and make a fool of yourself, by all means, GO FOR IT!

Cindersarah · Nov 3, 2010, 06:24 PM

Okay, I'm going to spell out one word for you, for future reference. COM-MUN-IC-ATION! It's the best way to deal with anything situation. (haha that rhymed!). But in this case, I agree with Cat1864 with the crush-hopping.. . Because you don't know what'll happen when you start dating this new girl, your friendship with your best friend has blown to smithereens... and you start liking a new girl. Then you have another ex on your belt, an ex girlfriend and an exboyfriend.. . There's a reason why X is the worse letter in the alphabet. :) Because you won't have a best friend to dicuss this new delimna with, because he'll still be hating you for stealing his crush.