[Just Looking]

KC is right about the career idea and your age. My dad didn't complete college until he was 32, and then had a successful career for the next 26 years until he retired early. Another thing is you don't have to get an amazing or highly paid job to be happy or successful. There are a lot of ways to do things that will make you happy. If you like where you live and want to stay there, accept that the job situation is what it is. Get the best job you can and be the best at it that you can be.

Find other ways to be happy. You mention hobbies as being your passion. They don't have to pay for themselves or become a business. You can just enjoy them for what they are. I wonder though if they are a way to bring in a little extra money, or maybe bring happiness to others as well?

You also mentioned in an earlier post that you might want to volunteer for the Red Cross. Are you really interested in that? If so, look into it or get started.

As for the MSN – can't you delete him as a contact so you don't see him online? Why put yourself through that sadness?

[jazzyshoes2004]

After reading your story, this is what I feel. All things happen for a reason. If it's meant for you two to be together it will happen so don't stress yourself over it. God places people in ones life for many reasons. Just remember that the one person that is meant to be in your life will not come with conditions or problems so, I feel that if everything seems crazy at this time then maybe this is not the man for you. Move on and in time if he is the one for you it will happen.

[seville]

After reading your story, this is what I feel. All things happen for a reason. If it's meant for you two to be together it will happen so don't stress yourself over it. God places people in ones life for many reasons. Just remember that the one person that is meant to be in your life will not come with conditions or problems so, I feel that if everything seems crazy at this time then maybe this is not the man for you. Move on and in time if he is the one for you it will happen.

Jazzyshoes,
Thank you for your post, I was feeling low again but by reading your post it lifted my spirits! :) It does make sense if he is the one for me eventually it will happen!!

Thanks again!

[seville]

KC is right about the career idea and your age. My dad didn’t complete college until he was 32, and then had a successful career for the next 26 years until he retired early. Another thing is you don’t have to get an amazing or highly paid job to be happy or successful. There are a lot of ways to do things that will make you happy. If you like where you live and want to stay there, accept that the job situation is what it is. Get the best job you can and be the best at it that you can be.

Find other ways to be happy. You mention hobbies as being your passion. They don’t have to pay for themselves or become a business. You can just enjoy them for what they are. I wonder though if they are a way to bring in a little extra money, or maybe bring happiness to others as well?

You also mentioned in an earlier post that you might want to volunteer for the Red Cross. Are you really interested in that? If so, look into it or get started.

As for the MSN – can’t you delete him as a contact so you don’t see him online? Why put yourself thru that sadness?

Hello Justlooking,

I wish I could figure out what I want to do, today I feel completely helpless. When I wake up I just want to roll over and go back to sleep. I can't face reality.Things doesn't seem to be movng along. I've been out of work for some time now and the more and more lonely and the more I think about my ex and wish he was here and could come back! When ever I go in to town all the memories of us come flooding back, and I get nausia and end up going home.
I feel like I don't exist for me or anyone. I've tried to shake it off but its still raw as if it was yesterday. He was on msn again and I said hi but he didn't reply so I left it at that but that happened once before and then he chatted to me another time, he was probably busy at work. I can't cut him off msn its not possible for me. It hurts so much when you realise the things you did wrong and what I should have done maybe that wouldn't have changed anything but at least I would be at peace now! I live in a large city and many nationalities mixed together, everyone kind of keeps to themselves the people are not friendly. I've looked in to joining the redcross, hopefully I will be OK before I join because its helping people, but I need to be OK myself!

I had a goal in September but wonder if that is what I really want to do! It will only be a part time job as I need to pass a few more exams next year to go full time, as I couldn't do all of the subjets this year due to being sick. Maybe I could do 2part time jobs, but its not very stable. Or I might change careers completely and take a course its for 18months you work all week while learning on the job and one day a week at school and you are continuously asessed and get a diploma at the end without a big exam so wouldn't have to worry about passing! There are many jobs in that but the salary is low! I wish I knew what I want!:confused:

IF you have any advice, I would appreciate it!!
Seville

[talaniman]

Something to look forward to would certainly help with the loneliness, and school or a career would help with being isolated. I think volunteering while you get some goals together is a great idea, and the Red Cross is a good organization. So is a hospital, church organization, or even a school.

The goal is to get out, and about and busy.

[kctiger]

Seville I still don't know what I want and I'm spending a fortune trying to figure it out (student loans). The cool thing about life is that we can change things if we don't like them. No one said you had to be fixed in a career at a certain age. The worst mistake most people make is finding a job young and sticking to it because they are afraid to leave. I'd rather find something I love doing than be miserable working for the next 40 years of my life.

You are putting undo pressure on yourself. Relax and take a deep breath. You have a world of tools at your disposal. Use them. Have you ever heard the expression, "When I grow up I want to be..."? Some people are 50 years old and still say that. I admire that.

[Just Looking]

Hi Seville,

I feel like you are afraid to make a step for fear of making the wrong one. Instead, you aren't doing anything and becoming more depressed or fearful about your future. Have you been looking for work? Even if it isn't your ideal job, if you could start somewhere you will at least have something to occupy your time and thoughts and will meet some new people. You have no ties right now to a job or a relationship. You are free to explore anything, anywhere. I've wondered if you have ever thought about something that requires travel or in the travel industry. It seems that your ability to speak more than one language would be a big plus.

I understand you feel hopeless and it's making it hard to move forward. There are a couple of things you might think about doing.

1. Affirmations – find something positive to say to yourself everyday and when you are down. Some suggestions:

-I realize daily that I can do all things within the range of my own ability.
-I eliminate “cannot” from my vocabulary. I can and I will.
-I anticipate the good in life. I look for blessings even in seemingly difficult or unfortunate happenings.
-I think constantly of the abundance of good things in the world and the opportunities to be taken. My attitude of optimism attracts good fortune to me.
-I maintain a positive attitude towards people, particularly those I live with and those I work with.
-I never abandon faith, hope and the determination to rise above all conditions. I pursue my goals no matter what.

2. Diet and exercise Eat in a healthy way and exercise daily. Both will automatically make you feel better and give you more energy. You might be feeling too low at first, but if you can keep this up for 2 weeks you will be amazed at how much stronger and better you feel. It will just keep getting better and better. When I'm down, I go out for a walk – especially a nature walk. Even if I don't feel like it, I smile and greet people … and eventually I am smiling because I feel better.

3. “Act as if” – act as if everything is okay. It's something my counselor recommended 2 years ago when I was going through grief counseling when my parents died. It sounds simple, but it does work. The “act” becomes more real.

4. Explore I just try to do something new, go to the "unknown territory", and challenge myself with new things... That always refreshes my mind. Believe me! Whenever you feel this way, just take action! Go out of your home. Don't stay still, DO something. And not something habitual, something unpredictable and new, something challenging. It can be drawing something; meeting someone; or just walking and roaming the streets, or driving.

5. Deal with your anxiety. Find ways to deal with your anxiety. It makes your mind more relaxed and more creative. Have you ever tried meditation? Prayer might be a possibility, depending on your beliefs. Exercise is another way to deal with anxiety – maybe try yoga or Pilates.

6. Volunteering We've talked about volunteering and you mentioned you were interested. Don't feel like you have to be okay before you can help others. I used to do a lot of volunteering in high school, college, and afterwards until my parents' deaths. I left my job and moved home, at first to take care of my dad but he didn't survive. I didn't volunteer for over a year after that because I was busy with other things, including starting a new job. A year ago, I was brutally beaten (nearly killed) by an ex-boyfriend. I spent a week in the hospital and 2 months off work recuperating. I was hurt and angry, and wanted to do something that would make me feel better about myself and would help other young women avoid what had happened to me. While I was still in the hospital, I started developing a program to take to high schools and colleges with the purpose to reach out to girls/women who were at risk – to raise their self-esteem, help them see the risks, and to let them know they had alternatives. I obviously wasn't “okay” when I started this idea, but it was one of the things that helped me become okay. You can start slowly in your volunteering process and see how it goes. I wouldn't be surprised at all if it lifted your spirits and you increased your efforts.


I think if you can do some or all of the above, you will begin to feel stronger and like you have a purpose. If you can start feeling healthier and happier, you will be able to more clearly think about your life and the direction you should take. You just have to find the strength to start somewhere. I know it seems overwhelming, but just take a few steps now and keep building on that as you are able. I know you will feel better if you do.

[seville]

Hi Seville,

I feel like you are afraid to make a step for fear of making the wrong one. Instead, you aren’t doing anything and becoming more depressed or fearful about your future. Have you been looking for work? Even if it isn’t your ideal job, if you could start somewhere you will at least have something to occupy your time and thoughts and will meet some new people. You have no ties right now to a job or a relationship. You are free to explore anything, anywhere. I've wondered if you have ever thought about something that requires travel or in the travel industry. It seems that your ability to speak more than one language would be a big plus.

I understand you feel hopeless and it’s making it hard to move forward. There are a couple of things you might think about doing.

1. Affirmations – find something positive to say to yourself everyday and when you are down. Some suggestions:

-I realize daily that I can do all things within the range of my own ability.
-I eliminate “cannot” from my vocabulary. I can and I will.
-I anticipate the good in life. I look for blessings even in seemingly difficult or unfortunate happenings.
-I think constantly of the abundance of good things in the world and the opportunities to be taken. My attitude of optimism attracts good fortune to me.
-I maintain a positive attitude towards people, particularly those I live with and those I work with.
-I never abandon faith, hope and the determination to rise above all conditions. I pursue my goals no matter what.

2. Diet and exercise Eat in a healthy way and exercise daily. Both will automatically make you feel better and give you more energy. You might be feeling too low at first, but if you can keep this up for 2 weeks you will be amazed at how much stronger and better you feel. It will just keep getting better and better. When I’m down, I go out for a walk – especially a nature walk. Even if I don’t feel like it, I smile and greet people … and eventually I am smiling because I feel better.

3. “Act as if” – act as if everything is okay. It’s something my counselor recommended 2 years ago when I was going thru grief counseling when my parents died. It sounds simple, but it does work. The “act” becomes more real.

4. Explore I just try to do something new, go to the "unknown territory", and challenge myself with new things... That always refreshes my mind. Believe me! Whenever you feel this way, just take action! Go out of your home. Don't stay still, DO something. And not something habitual, something unpredictable and new, something challenging. It can be drawing something; meeting someone; or just walking and roaming the streets, or driving.

5. Deal with your anxiety. Find ways to deal with your anxiety. It makes your mind more relaxed and more creative. Have you ever tried meditation? Prayer might be a possibility, depending on your beliefs. Exercise is another way to deal with anxiety – maybe try yoga or Pilates.

6. Volunteering We’ve talked about volunteering and you mentioned you were interested. Don’t feel like you have to be okay before you can help others. I used to do a lot of volunteering in high school, college, and afterwards until my parents’ deaths. I left my job and moved home, at first to take care of my dad but he didn’t survive. I didn’t volunteer for over a year after that because I was busy with other things, including starting a new job. A year ago, I was brutally beaten (nearly killed) by an ex-boyfriend. I spent a week in the hospital and 2 months off work recuperating. I was hurt and angry, and wanted to do something that would make me feel better about myself and would help other young women avoid what had happened to me. While I was still in the hospital, I started developing a program to take to high schools and colleges with the purpose to reach out to girls/women who were at risk – to raise their self-esteem, help them see the risks, and to let them know they had alternatives. I obviously wasn’t “okay” when I started this idea, but it was one of the things that helped me become okay. You can start slowly in your volunteering process and see how it goes. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if it lifted your spirits and you increased your efforts.


I think if you can do some or all of the above, you will begin to feel stronger and like you have a purpose. If you can start feeling healthier and happier, you will be able to more clearly think about your life and the direction you should take. You just have to find the strength to start somewhere. I know it seems overwhelming, but just take a few steps now and keep building on that as you are able. I know you will feel better if you do.

Hi Justlooking,

Thank you for your time and advice I have done some of the things you advised me and hope to do more this week!! :)
I would like to say I am very sorry for your loss and I send you my sincere condolence.
You have gone through a lot and ex boyfriend and you seem to be a very strong intelligent person who helps people very well and I admire you. :)
I can relate to you about your ex because one of my ex boyfriends was abusive, pyhsically and mentally. I am glad to have got out of that relationship, I wasted years before getting out because I was afraid of being alone. Now when I think back it seems riduclous, you just have to cut ties as soon as the first signs appears and not over look it! I felt trapped with my situation, so stayed. He took an overdoze when ever I tried to break up with him, once he almost died, he was controlling!
Anyway, I hope you're OK now and feeling better?
I'm going to try this week to get things sorted because its not doing me any good. I have to try to feel good and get rid of my depression and get up. I will try, it is overwhelming but I don't have a choice.
I feel kind of cold towards my parents and I'm not in contact as much anymore, I feel bad when I talk to them it reminds me of the past and the guilt etc... my counceller advised me to Is it a good idea? I feel by breaking contact I will discover who I really am! I know I've made so many mistakes and regret deeply for losing my ex by the way I was then!
I have been looking for a job but not as much as I should do! In the travel industry sounds good. I was working for vacation club where you travel and work in the club entertaining people etc.. I enjoyed that but the last time I worked for a couple of weeks and didn't perform as good as before and there wasn't much organisation in that particular club, and the fact that my ex had disappeared I wasn't my normal self.
Afterwards I told them that there was no communication or organisation and it turned against me which isin't fair. I wasn't the only one to say this. I asked them If could work for this summer and they didn't get back to me. I will still get back to them again because the other times I was a very good worker. That is job where you work for summer and winter months about 8months in the year. Do you know of other jobs in travel?

Well thanks again for your kind post:)
I will keep you posted! Xo

[Just Looking]

Thanks. It's still difficult dealing with the loss of my parents, but as you said I have no choice.

I am doing very well now. My ex was not abusive during our relationship, which made it all that more surprising. After we broke up, he also tried to overdose. By then, I was on this board and everyone told me to stay away from him, it was his problem and had nothing to do with me. He wouldn't leave me alone, and I finally had to file a restraining order. Eight weeks after we broke up is when he attacked me. He was an attorney and a brilliant man, but also felt entitled. He couldn't accept that I didn't want anything to do with him.

You probably know more about the travel industry than I do. I know very little, but I wondered about something like signing on to a cruise ship. Are there job placement agencies you can talk to in your area?

I think you have the right attitude - Start now to climb out of this depression you are in. Even little steps will help. Take a walk, notice the beauty around you, and smile. Eat healthy meals - I know that makes a huge difference to me. Those are all things you can easily do, and as you are feeling better keep adding more things. You've probably heard the phrase, "Keep your eye on the prize." Just keep imagining how good it will feel to get your life back - imagine being happy. I know some days will be harder than others, but just keep working at it and don't give up. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

There are many people on this site who had to struggle through bad times and are now doing very well. You aren't alone. :)

[seville]

Thanks. It's still difficult dealing with the loss of my parents, but as you said I have no choice.

I am doing very well now. My ex was not abusive during our relationship, which made it all that more surprising. After we broke up, he also tried to overdose. By then, I was on this board and everyone told me to stay away from him, it was his problem and had nothing to do with me. He wouldn't leave me alone, and I finally had to file a restraining order. Eight weeks after we broke up is when he attacked me. He was an attorney and a brilliant man, but also felt entitled. He couldn't accept that I didn't want anything to do with him.

You probably know more about the travel industry than I do. I know very little, but I wondered about something like signing on to a cruise ship. Are there job placement agencies you can talk to in your area?

I think you have the right attitude - Start now to climb out of this depression you are in. Even little steps will help. Take a walk, notice the beauty around you, and smile. Eat healthy meals - I know that makes a huge difference to me. Those are all things you can easily do, and as you are feeling better keep adding in more things. You've probably heard the phrase, "Keep your eye on the prize." Just keep imagining how good it will feel to get your life back - imagine being happy. I know some days will be harder than others, but just keep working at it and don't give up. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

There are many people on this site who had to struggle thru bad times and are now doing very well. You aren't alone. :)

Hi Justlooking,

I'm glad you are feeling better! How did you meet your actual boyfriend? How could you trust another guy after what happened with the last guy? I find it very hard to trust guys, after my ordeal, but I am not feeling bothered anymore with the hurt I carry from my ex!
I texted the guy from last year the one who had split with his girlfriend of ten yrs! At the moment he is visiting his family, but will see me when he gets back in two weeks or so! I don't know if it's a good idea as the last time when I saw him last year I didn't have any feelings for him and only wanted to be with my ex. I guess I was on the rebound and before when he was with his ex of ten yrs, I used to think If I had a guy like that it would be pretty cool and fancied him. This was before going out with my ex. I knew him from where I used to live before through other friends! I prefer to contact guys I know because I'm afraid after what happened with the last one and that way there might not be any surprises! In a big city you can't tell if a guy is for real or not?
Anyway even though its been over a year over with my ex, I still don't feel ready for anything but at the same time I'm lonely!:rolleyes:
For my career, I'm starting to stick to my orignal idea, working with children. I've researched different jobs and read forums on these jobs. Even though the salary isin't great working with children, it is a staisfying job. I love to see a child smile and I seem to make children laugh!:D I would have to pass a few more exams to work fulltime! If I pass it will secure me for life! I need to find the motivation to study and revise and right now I have none:( It's the loneliness that's taking over me and causing me to freeze! I have an exam in September!
For the redcross its in September. I'm also looking in to joining a budhist group! In budhisume it teaches you not to get attached and hang on to people and let go easier of people we love, this could be good for me and the whole aspect of it is interesting to me!
I've also looked for jobs to work on cruise liners and I found a good jobsite and applied to different companies! They asked, when you are available, you work for 6months at a time which is great that way I can come back or continue on. I'm not sure If I should say I'm available now or in 6months time or next year? As I want to secure my goal as working with children to have something to come back to! But If I go now maybe I will see a different path and do something different the fact of getting out of this country to see new horizons!! But definitely want to try it as it would be good for me I really need a change of scenery and meet new people and travel, and use my language skills! I think, Its what I need!! For all of the jobs you need at least 2 languages! Thanks for a great idea Justlooking!:) When I was 21 It was my dream to work on a cruise liner but didn't do it as I failed my exam and didn't think I would get hired and then met my ex nut!lol!and forgot about it! Now I feel I have the maturity and enough bagage to work on a cruise liner! It would be such a change for me! I have experience in most job areas so should be OK!
Every time I wanted to do something different I always held back because of a guy I was with but its not worth it in the end they take off and you've done nothing and left frustated! If the guy truly loves you they will wait for you to get back or encourage you to fallow through to your bliss. Then when you're doing what you wanted to do, you probably meet someone better or someone who coresponds more to you because you have something in common. Its better to realise that now than never!!

Thanks for your advice!
Seville:)

[Just Looking]

Hi Seville,

We were neighbors, and we are both runners. I saw him almost every day while I was on my run and we would greet each other. This had been going on for around a year, but eventually that was how we started seeing each other. I started dating him 5 weeks after my breakup, 3 weeks before the attack. We had so much in common and he was such a gentleman. After the attack he still wanted to see me, and he was very encouraging and gave me such hope and strength.

I’m so happy that you are figuring out what you want to do. Working with children is admirable. You’ve been busy – looking into working with children, looking into the Red Cross, checking on the cruise lines, and thinking about joining a Buddhism group.

You need a job now, so why not make yourself available now? If the cruise line offers you something, why not try it? You’ve already listed several reasons that it is a good fit for you. You might love it. If you are doing what you love, you will shine and it will be noticed. It seems that there could be so many possibilities for you. As far as meeting a guy, you have a much better chance of meeting a guy who is right for you when you are happy and doing what you love.

I’ve been on 4 cruises now and really enjoyed them. I’m wondering if you could combine your interest in working on a cruise line with your interest in working with children. I know each cruise I went on had children’s programs, for example. I don’t know what it takes to work in that area on a cruise ship, but it would be worth looking into. I also know that on at least two of the cruises, they offered babysitting. Even if you were a server in the dining room, you could relate to the children, making their experience more fun – the parents would love it. I’m thinking that if I were you, I’d see about those opportunities. You still have to pass exams to work in your field, and you could study for those exams on the ship. As far as loneliness, you won’t be lonely on a ship with 1,000-4,000 people. :) (I loved your joke about baggage.)

Let me just close with this. Start listening to your inner voice. It comes from both your conscious and sub-conscious mind, from both your mind and your heart. Take notice of your body (i.e. how you are physically reacting to people and situations) as it will tell you what you need to know and listen to your intuition. Avoid thinking negative thoughts, especially of yourself. Don’t limit yourself. You have lots of choices, and you will find the path that is right for you. If you can follow that inner voice, you will make the right decisions for yourself and you will be more at peace.

[seville]

Hi Seville,

We were neighbors, and we are both runners. I saw him almost every day while I was on my run and we would greet each other. This had been going on for around a year, but eventually that was how we started seeing each other. I started dating him 5 weeks after my breakup, 3 weeks before the attack. We had so much in common and he was such a gentleman. After the attack he still wanted to see me, and he was very encouraging and gave me such hope and strength.

I’m so happy that you are figuring out what you want to do. Working with children is admirable. You’ve been busy – looking into working with children, looking into the Red Cross, checking on the cruise lines, and thinking about joining a Buddhism group.

You need a job now, so why not make yourself available now? If the cruise line offers you something, why not try it? You’ve already listed several reasons that it is a good fit for you. You might love it. If you are doing what you love, you will shine and it will be noticed. It seems that there could be so many possibilities for you. As far as meeting a guy, you have a much better chance of meeting a guy who is right for you when you are happy and doing what you love.

I’ve been on 4 cruises now and really enjoyed them. I’m wondering if you could combine your interest in working on a cruise line with your interest in working with children. I know each cruise I went on had children’s programs, for example. I don’t know what it takes to work in that area on a cruise ship, but it would be worth looking into. I also know that on at least two of the cruises, they offered babysitting. Even if you were a server in the dining room, you could relate to the children, making their experience more fun – the parents would love it. I’m thinking that if I were you, I’d see about those opportunities. You still have to pass exams to work in your field, and you could study for those exams on the ship. As far as loneliness, you won’t be lonely on a ship with 1,000-4,000 people. :) (I loved your joke about baggage.)

Let me just close with this. Start listening to your inner voice. It comes from both your conscious and sub-conscious mind, from both your mind and your heart. Take notice of your body (i.e., how you are physically reacting to people and situations) as it will tell you what you need to know and listen to your intuition. Avoid thinking negative thoughts, especially of yourself. Don’t limit yourself. You have lots of choices, and you will find the path that is right for you. If you can follow that inner voice, you will make the right decisions for yourself and you will be more at peace.

Hi Justlooking!

Thank for your quick reply!:)
Well that was good going how you met your guy, it seemed to be perfect timing for you! That's great! I said in my last post doing various activities that you like doing is usually where you meet a guy with things in common with you, and with a bit of luck you hit it off!!
I have applied for jobs as receptionist, retail in shop, hostess, dancer and in the youth secteur working with children to have more of a chance in a getting a job! I have experience in all of these secteurs so hopefully one job will pop up!
If a job comes up now and I take it I will have to put redcross and Buddhist group and dance classes on hold! Is that a good idea? If I say I'm available in a few months then maybe I can get thoses things done before going and not just taking off to escape my loneliness! But at the same time I feel I need a change very soon my daily routine is boring me so much even though I'm reading and going for walks and taking dance classes there is still a lot of time alone and its depressing me!:confused:
I've also been offered a nanny job fulltime in September I don't think I'll do it as It will be all day at the persons house looking after a baby! I love the baby because I babysit for them sometimes but I think I would feel stuck and not moving on professionally! I have to pass an exam in September to almost complete the qualification of working working with kids. I have already a diploma which I passed years ago to work with children but its not as good as the one I'm trying to pass now. If I pass that exam in September then I could revise for the 2 remaining subjets on the cruise! I can work without the diploma but want to have it to be secure for the future!
By working on the cruise I will be able to save some money which is good too! The fact of stopping off in different countrys really apeals to me even though it will be hard work and not much free time but I think I will enjoy it! How was it for you on the cruise liners? Did the workers look like they were having fun? Would it be better on a carabeanne (sorry, can't spell):( cruise or what types? I've never been on one but I worked on a ferryboat back and fourth to the same country which was OK but not what I expected it to be I was a waitress just collected trays all day long and kind of got dizzy!lol!
I'm kind of afraid of losing my place for If I choose to come back here should I give my little appartement up and just go or keep it even though I would continue to pay the rent while I'm not here? If it is for 6months as its hard to find a place to live in this city! I'm thinking ahead too!:confused: Maybe after the cruise I won't want to come back here!
O well I'm sure it will get clearer soon!! By trusting my instincts!!

If you have any opinions would be grateful !:)
Seville

[Just Looking]

I understand your interest in waiting until after September, but my feeling is that you don’t limit yourself. Apply to the cruise ships and tell them you are available now. It’s already mid-August. I’d be surprised if they’d have an immediate opening. The alternative is to apply in a month, after your exam. My point is to let them know you are currently available when you do apply. In the meantime, go forward with the assumption that you will take the exam before you get a placement. That’s the most likely outcome.

Cruise ships have so many activities. They offer religious services, for example. As far as Buddhism, it’s always something you could study on your own. I bet you could even take dance classes on them. (Do you have the experience to apply as a dancer?) The ships I have been on always had gyms, and some had separate gyms for the workers. The 4 cruises I have been on: 2 in Mexico, 1 in the Caribbean, and 1 to Hawaii. They were all fun. Do they ask where you would want to be? As far as the workers, they were friendly and courteous. The ones I had more contact with (the steward and waiters) said they really loved their jobs. I’m sure it’s like any other job – some are happy, some are not. You probably won’t know until you try, but you have an interest in it so why not go for it. You are doing the right thing to apply to so many different places. The cruise ships are just one more place. Who knows who will have an opening?

As far as your apartment, is there any chance you can sublet it for 6 months?

[seville]

I understand your interest in waiting until after September, but my feeling is that you don’t limit yourself. Apply to the cruise ships and tell them you are available now. It’s already mid-August. I’d be surprised if they’d have an immediate opening. The alternative is to apply in a month, after your exam. My point is to let them know you are currently available when you do apply. In the meantime, go forward with the assumption that you will take the exam before you get a placement. That’s the most likely outcome.

Cruise ships have so many activities. They offer religious services, for example. As far as Buddhism, it’s always something you could study on your own. I bet you could even take dance classes on them. (Do you have the experience to apply as a dancer?) The ships I have been on always had gyms, and some had separate gyms for the workers. The 4 cruises I have been on: 2 in Mexico, 1 in the Caribbean, and 1 to Hawaii. They were all fun. Do they ask where you would want to be? As far as the workers, they were friendly and courteous. The ones I had more contact with (the steward and waiters) said they really loved their jobs. I’m sure it’s like any other job – some are happy, some are not. You probably won’t know until you try, but you have an interest in it so why not go for it. You are doing the right thing to apply to so many different places. The cruise ships are just one more place. Who knows who will have an opening?

As far as your apartment, is there any chance you can sublet it for 6 months?

Hi Justlooking,

Sorry to bother you again! I'm a bit confused!
I got a reply for a job for the cruise ship from an employment group. They said my resume was positive for them and that I was on the shortlist.
Today I got another e-mail saying that I will have to pass a test to see if I'm capable of working on a cruise and then a telephone interview, and face to face all before the 26august! Then If I passed I will be joining the cruise in Turkey for a 6month contract. I was so happy and started visualising myself on the cruise!
There was a catch it also said, to help you pass the test please download the link and put your code in so that you will get 10% Off and have an advantage over the other applicants! So the link was a book with information on cruises etc.. And they were asking for 20 euros £24 to receive the book.:confused:
I feel that this is a scam, you don't ask people applying for a job to pay to get through to the next part of the interview and not even sure that I will get through after paying for this book! They did put their address and phone number but I'm hestitating to call them in case it's a scam!
I googled the company and other people had the same experience as me asking for money to get to the neXt stage! But no one said if it was an actual scam! And some didn't bother with them!

What do you think? Is this normal procedure?
Thanks!

[Just Looking]

I don't really know normal procedures, but I'd be wary of a scam also. Just the fact they are pushing for such a fast reply sends up red flags. I wouldn't buy the book. Can you take the test without buying the book?

How are you applying - an employment agency or directly to a cruise line? I tried to read a little about the process, and got the impression that you should be applying directly to the cruise lines. One article I read mentioned that the top three lines and three that you should definitely consider are Royal Caribbean International, Princess and Carnival. I easily found websites for applying for Princess and Carnival. Royal Caribbean wasn't as easy, but I didn't spend a lot of time looking.

I also read a few comments that said you should not have to buy anything.

I wish I could help more but I just don't know a lot about it.

[seville]

I don't really know normal procedures, but I'd be wary of a scam also. Just the fact they are pushing for such a fast reply sends up red flags. I wouldn't buy the book. Can you take the test without buying the book?

How are you applying - an employment agency or directly to a cruise line? I tried to read a little about the process, and got the impression that you should be applying directly to the cruise lines. One article I read mentioned that the top three lines and three that you should definitely consider are Royal Caribbean International, Princess and Carnival. I easily found websites for applying for Princess and Carnival. Royal Caribbean wasn't as easy, but I didn't spend a lot of time looking.

I also read a few comments that said you should not have to buy anything.

I wish I could help more but I just don't know a lot about it.

Hello,
Thank you for your great advice! Yes it is a redflag having to buy the book and replying so soon. I was applying to groups, concessioneries, that put me in contact with the cruise! I read somewhere that it is better to apply directly to the ship. The 3 companies you mentioned sounds good, are they based in america? The fact that I'm living in europe can I apply to these? The employment agency here don't give you any information on cruises. I have been trying to research on the net and will continue to. I'm just not sure where you have to be situated to apply to a certain ship?
Thanks,
Seville

[Just Looking]

You can definitely apply to them. By the way, I’ve been on all three of these lines. I enjoyed all three – nice ships, friendly crew members, many travel choices. To get you started –

Princess application
Onboard Employment : Careers : Princess Cruises
At the bottom of the page you will see a section about International Recruiting, which leads to a page that includes how to apply if you live in Europe.

Carnival application:
Fun Jobs - Carnival Cruise Lines
I was a little surprised by the limited choice of jobs on their site, but I read a tip that suggests you send a resume and cover letter directly to them, using this website (“contact us” button on top right)
About Us | Carnival Cruise Lines
Be sure to list the languages you speak and the areas you’d be interested in working. Don’t limit it too much. It seems with your varied background that you might qualify for a few different areas. Also, have someone proofread your letter and resume before you send it.

Royal Caribbean application:
Career Opportunities - Royal Caribbean International


As with any job, you want to research the companies as much as possible. There are dozens of sites that discuss these companies and many sites that discuss what it is like to work for them or on a cruise ship in general. In the meantime, keep looking for jobs where you live. You don’t know when or if something will come out of this. It should be just one of the options you try. Good luck.

[seville]

You can definitely apply to them. By the way, I’ve been on all three of these lines. I enjoyed all three – nice ships, friendly crew members, many travel choices. To get you started –

Princess application
Onboard Employment : Careers : Princess Cruises
At the bottom of the page you will see a section about International Recruiting, which leads to a page that includes how to apply if you live in Europe.

Carnival application:
Fun Jobs - Carnival Cruise Lines
I was a little surprised by the limited choice of jobs on their site, but I read a tip that suggests you send a resume and cover letter directly to them, using this website (“contact us” button on top right)
About Us | Carnival Cruise Lines
Be sure to list the languages you speak and the areas you’d be interested in working. Don’t limit it too much. It seems with your varied background that you might qualify for a few different areas. Also, have someone proofread your letter and resume before you send it.

Royal Caribbean application:
Career Opportunities - Royal Caribbean International


As with any job, you want to research the companies as much as possible. There are dozens of sites that discuss these companies and many sites that discuss what it is like to work for them or on a cruise ship in general. In the meantime, keep looking for jobs where you live. You don’t know when or if something will come out of this. It should be just one of the options you try. Good luck.

Hi Justlooking,

Thank you very much for those links, its reassuring to know you were on these lines.
I haven't yet applied I'm working on my letter and making sure its OK before I send it but will in the next few days!
In the mean time I've been thinking about what I will do in September?
I feel a bit confused and stressed in taking the right decision. I have a few options which is good but confusing:
a) a live out nanny for a baby, the hours are good 9-5 mon-fri, that way
I can teach english on the side to top up the salary.
b) Live out nanny for another family from 8-7 mon-fri, hours are long but excellent pay.
c) I could apply in to hotels as a receptionist being able to speak 2languages the salary is OK, but you work weekends and late night shifts.
d) I could contact a job I did 2years ago and could have moved up but I quit and made a bad choice not being myself with my ex. I feel a bit humilated reapplying as when I had quit the last time a few days later I changed my mind and said I wanted to stay but they had already found someone else!:( I realised after what a mistake as it was a great company for l'oreal! Is it a good idea to try again after 2yrs?
e) Get 2 part time jobs working with children and other!
f) work in fashion a job
The first 2 options would mean that I would be with the children at their home and not meet anyone like co.workers and clients. I don't mind solitude but not too much! I will have mre free time with the first option to do red cross, dance, and buddhist group!
With option 3 I don't have a lot of experience as a receptionist but could learn, I would be meeting people but working weekend shifts and late nights!
With the fourth why not try again!
With the fifth why not but will have to work out with the days!
The 6TH a job I tried but wasn't stimulating!
I'm complicated and worried for my choices!! :eek:
I don't know If I'm finding it hard to choose, I just don't want to be stuck and waste more time doing something that doesn't improve my career, but want to stick at something to feel stable and longterm! Do you have opinions on this?
The cruiseship job is an option and something could pop up, I'm not going to wait for that to happen!

As this is a relationship forum, just a quick insight on my ex!
This weekend I checked my ex out on fb, there was a photo of him with his 2 friends at a night club. He looked really sad and as if he had aged 5yrs extra since I last him. I know he's not happy there and I felt sad for him! He has to adapt to somewhere, where doesn't want to be but has no choice! Should I ask him how he is on msn?

Well thanks for any advice you have and anyone else!
Cheers!
Seville

[Just Looking]

It's nice to hear that you have several options. I think you will need to decide which is the best option, as you know better what your goals and abilities are. Why feel humiliated about option d? If it was a good career opportunity, apply again. The worst outcome is they have nothing available, and then you look elsewhere. Don't take it personal. Why go back to a job that isn't stimulating (option f) – unless there are other opportunities in that job that you could pursue.

You have to get beyond worrying about making a choice. You've been on here for over 5 weeks and are still worrying. It's time to do something. Think about it and make the best choice considering all things – your career goals, the pay, the hours, how it fits in with the rest of your life, what you enjoy doing, etc. It would be nice to get some stability in your work record by staying longer at your next job and you want it to enhance your skills, but it's very unlikely that the next job will be your last job. Make the best decision from among the various choices.

I think the answer to the question about your ex is similar to the answer to your job seeking – It's time to move forward and make the best choices for the rest of your life. Don't forget all the negatives:
-He has to live in his country.
-Neither of you think you would like it or fit in there.
-You've started some healing, but that contact will set you back.
-He may or may not be sad – one picture can't tell you that. You will only make it harder for him as well if you contact him. Let him heal also – you don't want to hurt him.
-Bottom line, he hasn't contacted you and shows no signs he is interested. It's been over a year now.

For your own sanity, let it go and keep moving forward. Read this thread over again, and again anytime you have doubts. Just keep looking for the positive things in your life. Make the best decisions you can, and don't second guess yourself so much.

I also wanted to let you know I am out of town for business. I'll be gone for a while, and it's very unlikely that I'll have time to look at this forum due to the nature of my project. Good luck.

[talaniman]

Should I ask him how he is on msn?

NO, absolutely not! As a matter of fact, stay off his Facebook page.