[DazT]

To cut a long story short..

I've got a big friend (Tom, around 24 stone), never really had a girlfriend, not even really a kiss. I introduce him to my other best mate around 4 or 5 years ago. My best mate (Rob) has a girlfriend for around two years.

So my two friends become friends themselves and it is now the three of us who are best friends. We always went out and socialised together and sometimes Rob's girlfriend would come out with us two.

This was all fine until one night, Tom, very drunk, rings me up and tells me that he has feelings for my Rob's girlfriend. I felt terrible about this. I couldn't sleep at night and I always felt I was betraying my best mate for not telling him what Tom had said and felt.

So around 3 months passed until yesterday it came out and I told my friend the truth about what was said on the phone that night. I didn't want to tell Rob but he seen something in my face when he mentioned his girlfriend and made me tell him.

Now the two have fell out and Rob is saying he will never speak to Tom again. I feel I have betrayed Tom for telling Rob but I also feel I should have told Rob sooner.

It is all very complicated and it has got me down.

[I wish]

It's actually a no win situation. If you didn't tell Rob about Tom's feelings, in a way, you're betraying Rob. Imagine Rob found out about Tom's feelings later on and then he also finds out that you knew all along. Don't you think that he would be angry with you too?

Unfortunately you were placed in a situation where you really had no way out. You did what you felt was right.

I know that this is a small consolation, but given the decision that you made, you are capable of remaining friends with both guys. They may not like each other very much at this point, but at least you're a neutral party.

Accept the decision that you made and move forward with that. Second guessing yourself isn't going to help anyone.

[DazT]

But Tom thinks that I have betrayed his trust by telling Rob. Tom is now threatening suicide and says he is feeling very depressed.

They are meeting tomorrow and Rob tells me he is going to cut him out of his life completely :(

[I wish]

Emotions are flying everywhere. It's probably best to keep them apart from one another to let things cool down.

Talk to Rob. I'm sure his girlfriend doesn't appreciate that he behaves this way. Rob should be more mature. It's not like his girlfriend cheated on him to be with Tom.

As for Tom. If he's depressed, he should get some professional help.

If you want to help both of them, then keep them away from one another.

[DazT]

To be honest, I feel that Rob is doing the right thing. Why would you want to be friends with a guy you cannot trust, I feel he is doing the mature thing by cutting contact with Tom.

To be fair, I told Tom that he cannot hang around Rob's girlfriend after he told me his feelings and he kept on inviting her places and hugging around her. What sort of friend does this?

[I wish]

Rob has the right to cut Tom out of his life. That definitely is the more mature thing to do. Therefore, it's pointless to see each other tomorrow.

As for Tom, he's fallen into this type of situation: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ip-463250.html

[talaniman]

Step back away from this one, and let them settle their own differences.

[slapshot_oi]

To be honest, I feel that Rob is doing the right thing. Why would you want to be friends with a guy you cannot trust, I feel he is doing the mature thing by cutting contact with Tom.

Lol come on, that is not mature. The mature thing to do would be if Rob said "ya she is gorgeous isn't she, and she's mine". Nothing happened between Tom and Rob's girlfriend, this is a non-issue. If Tom trusted his girlfriend, he wouldn't think twice about it.

Now, that's not to say it won't make things awkward between Tom, Rob and Rob's girlfriend, but erasing Tom is pretty extreme.

Well, now you know not to get involved in business other than your own. All you'll get out of it is stress.