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talaniman · Apr 19, 2010, 04:37 AM

It help with your thought when you have positive actions, and something else to think about. Do things that make you happy, and not sit and dwell.

Kitkat22 · Apr 19, 2010, 09:23 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

It help with your thought when you have positive actions, and something else to think about. Do things that make you happy, and not sit and dwell.

You'll be better and stronger and feel more positive about yourself
When you are finally rid of this lump of nothing. You're better than he is and your child can be happy.

jo_dy · Apr 21, 2010, 02:09 PM

I am taking every day as it comes after a VERY down weekend... am finding this all very hard

Kitkat22 · Apr 21, 2010, 02:20 PM

Originally Posted by jo_dy

I am taking every day as it comes after a VERY down weekend........am finding this all very hard

I know it's hard Jodi.. I've been there.. You'll get better.. I promise you.
When you start feeling this way.. think about every single time you felt
Degraded by him.. You are in my prayers.:)

jo_dy · Apr 21, 2010, 02:29 PM

Thanks Kat, its driving me mad thinking about him everyday, I don't want to, I try not to, I'm waiting for a day when it doesn't happen bu tthen I find myself looking out to see if I see him but what for?? I wouldn't approach him, it'll only make me feel worse so why look?

I don't understand a lot of my feelings with this

Kitkat22 · Apr 21, 2010, 02:38 PM

Originally Posted by jo_dy

Thanks Kat, its driving me mad thinking about him everyday, i dont want to, i try not to, im waiting for a day when it doesnt happen bu tthen i find myself looking out to see if i see him but what for??? I wouldnt approach him, it'll only make me feel worse so why look??

I dont understand alot of my feelings with this

This may help! We're here for you:)

http://www.life123.com/relationships...break-up.shtml - 50k

jo_dy · Apr 25, 2010, 12:08 PM

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

This may help! We're here for you:)

http://www.life123.com/relationships...break-up.shtml - 50k

Thank you so much for this link, I have read it several times over the last few days, I can relate to all of it.

It has made me start looking on the net for similar things, which were quite hard to find surprisingly but I found a few. It all helps

This has been a good weekend, I have spent a lot of times with friends, laughing and talking and talking some more, it has helped, even though a lot of the talking revolved around him it helped and I didn't feel down talking about him, it got a lot off my chest, I didn't get upset or feel down, it just reminded me of some of the many reasons I'm not with him

jo_dy · Apr 28, 2010, 12:38 AM

Am feeling very low at the moment, find myself wanting to cry a lot, I thought I was getting better but feel as though I have gone 10 steps back but I don't know why!

I think about him most days, I even started dreaming about him too... I don't want to but can't make it stop, I am more hurt than I ever thought. I am keeping busy but even when I am I still think about him, he as been such a huge part of my life and there isn't enough I can do to fill it up in replacement of him :(

JudyKayTee · Apr 28, 2010, 08:21 AM

Unfortunately this is how grief and loss work - and you are suffering grief and loss of a relationship.

There is nothing you can do to make it better other than staying busy and riding it out.

Some people get comfort out of remembering all the "bad" things the other person did; others find that simply is a reminder.

You have to grieve to whatever extent "works" for you before you can move on. This is the end of a relationship, a sort of death. I know - it hurts!

talaniman · Apr 28, 2010, 08:54 AM

We all grieve in different ways and for different lengths of time. After all your emotional investments for so long to this relationship of course you are supposed to feel bad. Any human would, but it does take time. It helps to have friends and family around you that are supportive and understanding of your situation though. Do you have a few very good friends, or trusted family members around you?

Kitkat22 · Apr 28, 2010, 09:30 AM

Hey Jodi.. I was thinking about you yesterday... I'm not on line as much as I used to be... but I do want to say... I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I have a friend who is going through the same, thing.. she's a lot younger than me.. She used to babysit our kids.

Jodi.. All I can do is cry with her and try to give her a shoulder.. She is devastated. It's been nearly three months and she has filed for divorce
And she is so sad... She told me... I don' t know why I miss him.. the kids are happier and they don't miss him.

She said... "When we sit down to dinner now, it's a whole different atomsphere.. We talk, we laugh, and he's not there to say anything mean.
I watch them and I see the damage our fighting and his domination did
Too me and even though I do miss him him, I'll never do that again.

Those children are doing great... Don't think because you miss him, there is something wrong with you.. there isn't. You are normal... and it's normal to miss someone whom you have loved so many years... but
You will get over it. Don't listen to sad music or go to places you use to go. Be Thankful you are getting stronger and most of all look at your child and say thank you Lord my child will never have to go through this again... Hugs and Blessings

jo_dy · May 2, 2010, 02:33 AM

I am struggling at the moment and am even having my doubts about what I have done, its hard to say that for eveything he has done!

I don't want him and couldn't let myself but there is something in me that just wants to take him back with open arms, like it would make everything OK... but I know it wouldn't and I can't and won't forgive him for everything he has done so why am I thinking this way?

I am very confused right now.

I miss his company, and all the good points... its horrible how when you feel like this you forget alllllllllllllllllll the bad

talaniman · May 2, 2010, 05:52 AM

We don't forget the bad, we just choose to ignore it!

ohsohappy · May 2, 2010, 01:49 PM

Originally Posted by jo_dy

I am struggling at the moment and am even having my doubts about what i have done, its hard to say that for eveything he has done!

I dont want him and couldnt let myself but there is something in me that just wants to take him back with open arms, like it would make everything ok............but i know it wouldnt and i can't and wont forgive him for everything he has done so why am i thinking this way?

I am very confused right now.

I miss his company, and all the good points........its horrible how when you feel like this you forget alllllllllllllllllll the bad

Get a puppy! Then you can spend time with him instead. :) You have to make sure that he's the most Wuvable-Cuddly-Cutie-Pie in the whole world. :)

jo_dy · May 4, 2010, 12:47 PM

I have had several conversations with my ex, all quite amicable ones, I have made it clear although he wants to we will NOT be getting back together, that as much as I will always love him I couldn't do it to myself as there is 0% trust... he thinks he could regain that etc but I have said no

I feel OK about it all, its sad as I wish there was a way but time can not be turned back so we have to get on... to a point!

jo_dy · May 11, 2010, 12:05 AM

Its been 7 weeks now since we split, I am feeling more positive, I still have my bad days when through lonliness and sadness you would do something stupid like take him back but I'm still here... getting on with life to a point. I thought it would be easier at this point but its not

ohsohappy · May 11, 2010, 07:27 AM

Originally Posted by jo_dy

Its been 7 weeks now since we split, i am feeling more positive, i still have my bad days when through lonliness and sadness u would do something stupid like take him back but im still here.......getting on with life to a point. I thought it would be easier at this point but its not

Thanks for the update Jody! Stay strong lady, You'll be okay!

Homegirl 50 · May 11, 2010, 10:25 AM

Hang in there. You are going to be fine.

jo_dy · May 12, 2010, 11:28 PM

Something that is really getting on my nerves is the complete rollercoaster of emotions and feelings I am having... I go from one day feeling like it's the best thing I ever done and can't wait for the rest of my life and too many other days I think I should and WANT to take him back... I need those days to get less :( before I do something stupid through sadness and lonliness

talaniman · May 13, 2010, 04:44 AM

You must learn to cope with the feelings you have and not make impulsive , or ill advised decisions.

Maturity is all about dealing with yourself in positive ways and not acting on intense feelings without a lot of thought.

We all have those intense days, and sometimes it gets overwhelming. Those are the days you have a plan B in place, so we can change our focus, and work through our feelings.

Hobbies, chores, or exercise are great things you can just get up and do, when the feelings get too intense.