[adro_is_hurting]

Yea I feel like Im going to be on this site for a long time. I have started helping other people who have just gotten dumped also, I find that it helps also. Im really trying to take it one day at a time, but its so hard because they were in my life everyday. They were a big part of my life. They were my family more than my real family is. I really loved those people. Its been 2 days with NC with the family. I already want to call

[talaniman]

Join the party, every single person here has been through those very same feelings. Some more than others, but we stick it out, and get healthy again.

So will you.

[adro_is_hurting]

This is a party I wish I wasn't invited to haha. I was reading another post, and it said that hope dies last. This is so very true. This whole "break" gives false hope, I know that when she does come calling back to say that she doesn't want to give it another try I'm going to be devastated again. Back to square 1. No matter how much I feel I've gotten over her, I know this is what will happen. Im doing a lot better lately, but I woke up this morning feeling weak. I dreamed about her, it was so good and felt so real. Then I woke up and just cried. It hurts more because I know I'm the last thing on her mind.

[amicon]

Helping others is a great thing and by doing that you'll find you grow as a person.

This girl doesn't define who you are,whether she turns up in your dreams or possible tries to get in touch weeks down the line to give you
'the final chop' is really not important.

What is important is how you handle yourself now.

Nobody has any power over you-unless you let them.

[talaniman]

You're the emotional romantic type huh? I get it.

[adro_is_hurting]

Helping others is a great thing and by doing that you'll find you grow as a person.

This girl doesnt define who you are,whether she turns up in your dreams or possible tries to get in touch weeks down the line to give you
'the final chop' is really not important.

What is important is how you handle yourself now.

Nobody has any power over you-unless you let them.

Helping others is always good. I love helping people, and having other people like you guys help me makes me feel reall good. I hate how I give her so much power over me. I feel like NC is going to be good and help me stop giving her power. I feel like I'm getting better lately though, I'm at school now and I got work later on today so that should keep my mind occupied. I feel stronger now than I did this morning

[adro_is_hurting]

You're the emotional romantic type huh? I get it.

Really I'm not. Or maybe I am now. I was never like this before. Then I found myself getting to be like this after getting with her. I am romantic, but I was never hella emotional until now. I do feel like I am changing. Is it wrong to be this way?

[talaniman]

There is no right or wrong to who you are, if you're happy with it.

[vanheart]

"I hate how I give her so much power over me"

Doesn't that suck...

All in your mind now, buddy. She isn't around.

[vanheart]

"I do feel like I am changing. Is it wrong to be this way?"

Change is all you need & more of it!!

Whooo Hooo!!

[adro_is_hurting]

There is no right or wrong to who you are, if you're happy with it.

Yea I agree with your statement, just don't know if I like the way I'm changing. I do feel like I've grown as a person in this relationship, but at the same time Im opening myself up to get hurt. Like I've never been in this much emotional/mental pain. I don't like how other people can hurt me so much because Im much more open towards people. Guess I just need time. How do you make the clock move faster haha. 4 real though...

"I do feel like I am changing. Is it wrong to be this way?"

Change is all you need & more of it!!!

Whooo Hooo!!!!

Yea I know its all in my head. As more time passes I am starting to realize this more and more. I do need change, I want change. But now I'm hella scared. Im not scared of being by myself, but of going through this again. Its not much incentive when all you do is love, always be there for the other people, are always understanding, never did the other person wrong, and always had their back and all you get is this. Not much incentive at all.

[vanheart]

You can still love & be there for people. Just not her.

Nothing to be scared about. Just a life lesson to become more aware for later.

That's the incentive. To learn from this and become stronger.

[RobinBoston]

Adro, I just read through your thread - you're doing great, you will get there with time. Keep on living life and let time do its thing.

I just got over a 2.5 year, first love breakup as well, that started with the too familiar "break" idea on her part. You can see from my thread this site was such a help. I started and sounded just like you did. I couldn't imagine life without her. But now after several months I am already posting new questions in the dating section about a new girl I met. I can't imagine ever wanting my ex back even if she came running to me.

Time does heal, you will find someone else, you are young and will laugh about this in the future. You may feel deceived, hurt, may feel low-confidence, and you will never understand. But in time you will realize those feelings are not sincere and understanding does not matter. You will realize yourself worth again and realize someone better deserves you.

Keep at it man. Move forward, a brighter day is in the future

[amicon]

You change for yourself,when and if you feel the need to.

When people behave in a hurtful manner,its up to us how we allow ourselves to feel once the initial shock has worn off.

We can make the choice to let go of that pain and not let it affect us anymore.

As for time,it tends to pass more quickly when we keep ourselves busy.

[talaniman]

As you learn about yourself, and find the direction you want to go, you will be much more able to take reasonable risks with your own heart, and though things happen beyond your control, you will have developed better coping skills for yourself, that may even make you bolder.

I swear it makes a difference when you have an exit strategy, based on experience, trial, and error you can fall back on. It still sucks every time, but at least you are better prepared for it, and know what to do about your own emotions.

Its all about how you cope with your own feelings, no matter the situation. Sorry, growing is a process you can't control.

[adro_is_hurting]

Adro, I just read through your thread - you're doing great, you will get there with time. Keep on living life and let time do its thing.

I just got over a 2.5 year, first love breakup as well, that started with the too familiar "break" idea on her part. You can see from my thread this site was such a help. I started and sounded just like you did. I couldn't imagine life without her. But now after several months I am already posting new questions in the dating section about a new girl I met. I can't imagine ever wanting my ex back even if she came running to me.

Time does heal, you will find someone else, you are young and will laugh about this in the future. You may feel deceived, hurt, may feel low-confidence, and you will never understand. But in time you will realize those feelings are not sincere and understanding does not matter. You will realize your self worth again and realize someone better deserves you.

Keep at it man. Move forward, a brighter day is in the future

I just read your thread robinboston and its very good to read something that is kind of similar to my situation and going through it not that long ago. I really hope I can laugh at all of this later on. I am getting over it, but I don't know if Im ever going to remember this time without associating it with pain and hurt. Im really happy for you man, Im glad your heart let you grow feelings for someone else. Because mine right now just wants to be alone.

[adro_is_hurting]

You change for yourself,when and if you feel the need to.

When people behave in a hurtful manner,its up to us how we allow ourselves to feel once the initial shock has worn off.

We can make the choice to let go of that pain and not let it affect us anymore.

As for time,it tends to pass more quickly when we keep ourselves busy.

Even though its been almost a month, I still don't think the shock has completely worn off yet. I still can't believe that one day its all "i love you so much" and the next day she's gone. It really is getting easier, and NC is really helping. My problem is that she's still on my mind a lot. While its not 24/7 anymore like it use to be, I still think about her too much. Stuff that I use to like and think of with a smile (I work really close to her moms house and use to like the feeling of knowing she's five minutes away) I now hate.

[adro_is_hurting]

As you learn about yourself, and find the direction you want to go, you will be much more able to take reasonable risks with your own heart, and though things happen beyond your control, you will have developed better coping skills for yourself, that may even make you bolder.

I swear it makes a difference when you have an exit strategy, based on experience, trial, and error you can fall back on. It still sucks every time, but at least you are better prepared for it, and know what to do about your own emotions.

Its all about how you cope with your own feelings, no matter the situation. Sorry, growing is a process you can't control.

Everything is hella true that you said. Ive never been in this situation before, so all this pain is brand new to me. I am learning to cope though a lot better, this site and the people on her are a god-send. I know for sure though that if I hadn't found this site I would have gone through more pain. I know I wouldn't have been able to go NC without all you guys support. Thanks everyone.

[amicon]

The pain lessens day by day-as you seem to have noticed.

The thoughts of 'the happy times'will lessen as well.

It takes time,but you have come quite some way since you first came here.

[adro_is_hurting]

Thanks amicon, I feel like I have come a long way also. Time does heal, even if its just a tiny bit day by day. I just feel bad sometimes because I have so many reminders of her everywhere. I work close to your house, she gave me her cell phone, she bought like half of my clothes, her name is my password to all my log ins, and so much more. The thing that gets to me the most is when I see other couples in public. I always think of her when I see others holding hands, when I hear certain songs, when I see someone driving the car she has. I don't know why my heart likes torturing itself like this.