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talaniman · Mar 22, 2010, 07:06 AM

You do get carried away easily don't you.

I would strongly advise against dating a co worker. Now being friends is different, and that takes time. I think she wants romance and work to be separate any way, and if she does, she is very smart. The last thing you need are emotional complications, at work.

Romefalls19 · Mar 22, 2010, 08:14 AM

Take time to get to know her on a friends level before you do anything

jaffeyjoeblaze · Mar 22, 2010, 09:59 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

You do get carried away easily don't you.

I would strongly advise against dating a co worker. Now being friends is different, and that takes time. I think she wants romance and work to be separate any way, and if she does, she is very smart. The last thing you need are emotional complications, at work.

Well she has went on a date with one coworker and that didn't work out, then another took her out to lunch and that didn't work out, then she dated a guy in which it didn't work out and they became friends... all guys from work...

And she is a bit scorned from a past relationship... so I seem to make her laugh and have a good time outside of work... so I wonder what way to pursue... since she doesn't mind the coworker thing...

CarrotTalker · Mar 22, 2010, 10:01 AM

Just take it slow and relaxed, see what happens.

The more you talk about it or analyze it, the more likely you will be to put too much pressure on her or be too nervous.

Just look out for signals that she wants to bring it to the next level, such as an opportunity to kiss.

Trust me, I used to do the same thing!

amicon · Mar 22, 2010, 10:14 AM

So she has gone on dates with a number of co-workers,and 'it didn't work out'?

And she is hurting from a previous relationship?

Red flagalert-then throw into the mix that you broke up with your ex about four months ago- I think this has the potential of a mess.

Call me a pessimist,but my advice would be to avoid this.

talaniman · Mar 22, 2010, 10:23 AM

Amicon is right, you seem to be a long line of others that have tried pursuing her, and she evidently, has baggage from her past, as do you.

Talaniman Rule- Never ever mess with any one who has just dumped their partner

Talaniman Rules- Run, don't walk, away from any romance in the place that you are employed.

Talaniman Rule- Enjoy getting to know someone, and keep it real.

Talaniman Rule- Never get involved with someone who has just been dumped.

Talaniman Rule-Never follow your heart when it’s so broken, it makes the brain feel like mush

Talaniman Rule- never be in a hurry to give your heart to a stranger. Wait until they have proven they deserve it, and know what to do with it.

Talaniman Rule- Doesn't matter how intense the feelings, or how much fun you have, never give your heart to someone you don't know well, and thats only after the lust has worn off for you both.

Break the rules at your own peril.

jaffeyjoeblaze · Mar 22, 2010, 10:56 AM

I like how amicon seems to be my personal advisor in my threads, her break up was like 6 months ago and I've been over mine, she may be the one or maybe not... but I won't know until I hang out with her more... I just don't want to be in the friends zone.

jaffeyjoeblaze · Mar 28, 2010, 10:11 PM

Anyway I have been getting to know her and I mentioned her helping me learn how to become a better dancer... she said as long as there is a place cool and fun she would help me... so sounds like another plan of action to get a date...

Now I'm just pondering when the right time is... ive also noticed she has her moods... hmmm...

friend4u178 · Mar 28, 2010, 10:21 PM

To be honest it sounds to me that your far more into her than what she is to you , I'd be looking to date girls outside of your work if I was you.

amicon · Mar 28, 2010, 10:28 PM

I stand by my previous advice.

As friend said-date girls you don't work with.

jaffeyjoeblaze · Mar 28, 2010, 10:35 PM

Man I know its taboo to not date at work... something about this girl... and as friend said... I think I am way into her more than she is into me... she seems guarded to not only me but even her closest friend at work...

And she seems to be guarded when they go out unless I'm around then she has a good time...

friend4u178 · Mar 28, 2010, 10:42 PM

She sounds like she may have learnt from her previous experiences with dating co-workers and the pitfalls involved.

Clever girl ;)

jaffeyjoeblaze · Mar 29, 2010, 09:03 PM

Well I think you guys are on to something...

I have had an event come into my life with one of my friends' who are like brothers to me, where it's a life and death situation... so I thought she would be willing to listen...

So I hit her up and for some reason she doesn't respond and ask me what's going on... so later I chat again and she doesn't respond and I just say well I hope all is well with you and you don't seem happy ttyl...

Well she says how busy she is and I'm like OK get back to work... and she decides to go crazy on me and just blow up with sarcasm! I decide to just say 'stop, OK I get it... I learned my lesson' so she says a lot of stuff and I'm like 'well don't you have work to do?' she says 'yeah I'm doing the work now and trying to put a smile on your face'...

I then say OK... and let her know what's going on with my friend's mom... and she feels bad and kept trying to basically get me happy and felt bad and it was her way of saying sorry basically... I just said 'ok thanks' I was already annoyed and upset... and basically just said leave me alone nicely...

Then come to find out all of us friends are supposed to go salsa dancing on weds... im kind of wondering what will happen then...

friend4u178 · Mar 29, 2010, 09:21 PM

Well you know what , in the very beginning of any Relationship guys and Gals are on their very best behaviour , just sayin' ;)

Seriously wouldn't it be so much easier to avoid all this drama and just look for someone else outside of work??

Just my opinion :cool:

jaffeyjoeblaze · Mar 29, 2010, 09:42 PM

Originally Posted by friend4u178

Well you know what , in the very beginning of any Relationship guys and Gals are on their very best behaviour , just sayin' ;)

Seriously wouldn't it be so much easier to avoid all this drama and just look for someone else outside of work ???

Just my opinion :cool:

But the thing is that we aren't in a relationship... if she was on her best behavior, it left when she left out of town... she kind of came back different towards me it seems...

Wow I might as well be in a relationship with all the semi drama that has happened... :rolleyes:

friend4u178 · Mar 29, 2010, 09:53 PM

Originally Posted by jaffeyjoeblaze

but the thing is that we arent in a relationship.....if she was on her best behavior, it left when she left outta town....she kinda came back different towards me it seems.....

Wow i might as well be in a relationship with all the semi drama that has happened......:rolleyes:

My point being that if she was after a Relationship with you she would be showing her best side , and if this is her best side , well...

the_original · Mar 29, 2010, 09:56 PM

Coming from someone who just got out of a 3 year relationship that involved working with my ex every day... DON'T do it. It adds a whole new element and level of stress to the relationship

jaffeyjoeblaze · Mar 29, 2010, 10:06 PM

See I'm not looking for a relationship right now... I been taking it slow and have yet to ask her out on a date... I been trying to get to know her and for whatever reason she just changed on me... hmmmmm... I been playing the acquaintance card since I met her...

amicon · Mar 29, 2010, 10:18 PM

She's probably showing you her true colours.

When in doubt-walk,even from the trying to get to know position..

talaniman · Mar 30, 2010, 07:42 AM

Shame that you make yourself miserable, by trying to have more from someone, who doesn't have it to give you.

She has her own issues it seems and maybe they are too much for you to handle. That's means back up and find another path to what you want, because its getting obvious, she ain't it.