[hugostrange22]

... um okay, I've never gone as far as to ask for the help from strangers... but I'm pretty despite to save this relationship.

I'm 19 years old. I've been going out with a girl for over 3 years... we met in high school and started dating when school let out... we went out for 2 years in high school and now we're going to different colleges.

We would be so happy to spend time together, we always had something to talk about (or we would just not talk and just stay on the phone <3) and we had a healthy sex life.

I can only visit her on holidays when she can come home or like once a month ( I don't have a lot of money to see her all the time) we used to talk on the phone for 4 hours a night and sometimes I would get on the computer to chat with her into the early hours of the morning. We had been planning to get married for about a year now... shes been way more enthusiastic than me but I'm happy don't get me wrong. I mean this is the girl that I want to spend my life with.

About 3 weeks ago everything got randomly weird... she told me she was feeling bad and didn't want to talk that night... so I told her I hope she would get better and good night. Then things got worse... she would only talk to me for like 5-30 minutes a night and then she started saying she needed space. She then said that I was boring and she didn't like me online.

I didn't sleep for 4 nights straight and have been a wreak. She goes back and forth saying that things are okay and then they are not. Then about a week ago she finally confessed she liked this guy on a game we play... some guy that lives really far away from us. I asked if she still liked me and she said yes. But she spends more time with him online then with me... I don't know how to compete with that... When I call her she gets angry and sometimes she is happy. We went on a date the other night and we had a great time and then she wanted to go home real quick because I think she wanted to be with him...

In fact the week before that (before I knew about him and her) I came all the way to see her and we had a good time and she came on to me hard and then said it didn't feel right... she did the same thing the other day so I don't know...

When ever I call her she sounds like she's having to do a task. Like she doesn't enjoy talking to me... and she hangs up on me abruptly now... she says she loves me when I say it(most of the time) and she still kisses me (sometimes or she'll avoid my kiss)

I don't know what to do... If I give her space I feel like she'll only talk to him and fall in love with him... but If I bug her all the time she'll just yell at me like usual...

I want to spend my life with this girl but I don't know what's going through her head... She has huge mood swings but nothing like this... the last thing that happened like this was a few months ago she said that I wasn't going anywhere in life and that she loved me but didn't want to be with me.

So I went to college to make something out of myself and she started dating me again... that was like in November and sense then everything was just like it was before... everything was a perfect love bliss.

so... I don't know if she's bored with our relationship because we can't discover anything or what... we were so happy and if anyone has any advice I would greatly appropriate it... I just want everything back to the way it was :( I am in so much pain... we've always been so happy I don't know what to do :( We wanted to get married this summer and she still brings up our honeymoon sometimes but she doesn't want to get married now... its like she has a split personality... we wanted to have kids we had even named and I've never been happier than I was with her...

I'm trying to get her to spend time with me at the park sometime this week because its spring break... :(

if you need any more details tell me... I don't know much about how this site works though... I've been crying for weeks please someone help me :<

[Kitkat22]

She is more than likely telling you it's over. I'm sorry. High School

Romance sometimes doesn't last. She may feel she has outgrown
You.

If she is talking to a guy online who she doesn't know and whom she says she's attracted too, then she is not very smart.

Give her up! You have too. No Contact. I'm sorry you are going through this and I hope you know we are here when you need us!:)

[Homegirl 50]

You two are young and started dating young. Perhaps being away from you she is growing out of the relationship.
This happens a lot when you go off to college and are exposed to more people and you begin to grow socially and emotionally.
Perhaps you two should take a break from each other. This may be and end to things or It may help.

[hugostrange22]

Its just... my life has been like this longer than I remember, my future was planned around out wedding, our children, our home... its like some kind of nightmare.

The only constant thing in my life is going away... and I feel like its chaos theory... what I do right now is going to effect what happens...

[amicon]

I understand you are hurting-we have no magic wands here to help you getting back to where you were,but we can help you with advice when it comes to dealing with what is most likely heading for a breakup.

Her feelings are changing,she is young,as are you, and that,maybe sadly,is life.

You need to get some balance back in your life and get back to sleeping right.

Have you got friends and family to talk to?

[hugostrange22]

Yeah... I've been talking to one of my friends... I haven't even told my best friend because I thought things would get better... I've been talking to my best man too... hes been getting over his relationship too...

[Kitkat22]

Its just...my life has been like this longer than I remember, my future was planned around out wedding, our children, our home...its like some kind of nightmare.

The only constant thing in my life is going away...and I feel like its chaos theory...what I do right now is going to effect what happens ...

It's not the end of the world. It may feel like it, but it isn't.

You have to think about more than just her! She doesn't have to be the one who dictates your life. Give it time! Who knows what the future holds? There is a big, beautiful, fasinating world out there.


Don't wallow in your misery, by watching and listening for her calls or texting. She may throw you a crumb every now and then, but you deserve more. Get out! Go running, go visit friends.
Don't let this girl drive you crazy! :)

[hugostrange22]

"Don't wallow in your misery, by watching and listening for her calls or texting."

Lol you hit the nail on the head

[Kitkat22]

"Don't wallow in your misery, by watching and listening for her calls or texting."

lol you hit the nail on the head

Thanks Hugs. It's true don't be a victim and don't be weak! I have said this many times, women despise men who are weak.
They have no respect for a man who jumps at their beck and call.

It's true, I'm sorry to be so harsh but if she knows your waiting she knows she has a spare waiting around, just in case the online guy doesn't work out. Stop being weak! Get your life together!:confused:

[hugostrange22]

I wrote her a really frank letter last week and she called me and said she knew she was being crazy and it would probaley pass... later she put him above me on her friends list. My heart felt like it would explode... she later put him way down again. But she kept posting hearts on his profile and crap... it just is so painful because it was unexpected... today was the day we were going to go talk to our paster about our wedding... this whole thing a few weeks ago was literly over night and that's why I'm having such a hard time...

[Kitkat22]

I wrote her a really frank letter last week and she called me and said she knew she was being crazy and it would probaley pass...later she put him above me on her friends list. my heart felt like it would explode...she later put him way down again. but she kept posting hearts on his profile and crap...it just is so painful cus it was unexpected...today was the day we were going to go talk to our paster about our wedding...this whole thing a few weeks ago was literly over night and thats why im having such a hard time...

I know it hurts. Just let some time pass and have no contact with her it may bring her to her If she truly cares and she knows you're not waiting around, if she loves you it may be bring her to her senses. TRY IT for a couple of days and if she calls don't answer or tell her you are sick of the games and when she's ready to grow up she can call you!:)

[hugostrange22]

Thanks for talking to me, I'm really lonely and confused.

I hope she never finds this post... its so obvius that its about us

[amicon]

I'm guessing its midday where you are-so make a plan,go meet some friends,do something to take your mind off things.

Go to the gym,go for a run,these things will boost your mood.

[hugostrange22]

Yeah. I'm about to play some video games soon... lol

Just everything I do... it just seems so depressing

Thanks for talking to me though :)

[hugostrange22]

Whoa. I just realized this has 100 views almost.. lol

[RSmyth58]

You got modern warfare 2 on 360? If so add me up, I'm going through some tough stuff right now too.

[hugostrange22]

you got modern warfare 2 on 360? if so add me up, im going through some tough stuff right now too.

I have halo 3, I don't want to post my name in this fourm though, um how do u send private messages? Lol

[Homegirl 50]

I think a wedding is definitely out if the question. You are both students, too young (in my opinion) to get married and you're knee deep in drama.

You two have been dating a good while but it has been when you two were and are still young. I would venture to say she cares about you (you two have been together for a while) but she is also changing and it maybe hard to totally let go. Just as it is hard for you to let go. You are each other's comfort zone. Part of growing up means you have venture out of the comfort zone and move into the real adult world and that may be moving away from each other.
Don't put your focus on her. Spend time with your friends, get to know who you are apart from her.
I hope when you talk with your pastor he will tell you guys that you are not ready for marriage and need to take a step back from each other.

[hugostrange22]

She called off talking to her... so yeah lol

[Homegirl 50]

Then you need to leave her alone and move on with your life. You are both young and have a lot of living to do.