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Cat1864 · Feb 21, 2010, 05:51 PM

I don't think you are a tramp or loose or any other negative word for a female. What I do think is that you are confused and feeling alone. I think you are in danger of looking for a new source of affection and 'stability'.

You need time to work through everything that has gone on and everything you have been through. I know you are strong enough to be on your own for awhile. Don't allow fear to rule your emotions and get into another relationship before you are ready mentally and emotionally.

When do you begin counseling with the new therapist?

EmoPrincess · Feb 21, 2010, 05:53 PM

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

EMOP, why not try finding the person you are and I think it will be a good person you find. You don't need a guy to make you fullfilled. so spend some time finding you. There's a big world out there and as I said before..You can be a help to someone. Someday when you least expect BAM you meet the man you want to spend your life with and he will feel the same if it's meant to be. You Take Care.

My problem is, I hate being alone. I need to work through that, I know.

EmoPrincess · Feb 21, 2010, 05:54 PM

Originally Posted by Cat1864

I don't think you are a tramp or loose or any other negative word for a female. What I do think is that you are confused and feeling alone. I think you are in danger of looking for a new source of affection and 'stability'.

You need time to work through everything that has gone on and everything you have been through. I know you are strong enough to be on your own for awhile. Don't allow fear to rule your emotions and get into another relationship before you are ready mentally and emotionally.

When do you begin counseling with the new therapist?

Tomorrow I begin counseling.

Thank you Cat. I think you are right about my search for affection and stability

Cat1864 · Feb 21, 2010, 05:56 PM

Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

tommorow I begin counseling

Good. I hope it works out this time. :)

EmoPrincess · Feb 21, 2010, 06:00 PM

Originally Posted by Cat1864

Good. I hope it works out this time. :)

I hope so too, but it is through the school

Kitkat22 · Feb 21, 2010, 06:03 PM

Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

My problem is, I hate being alone. I need to work through that, I know.

Alone time can be so soothing. Try this, in your alone time read a good book. Write down all the things you would like to do when you are on your own. Keep a journal , it's like having a friend, you can write and it's your private thoughs no one else can share.

Workout , you don't have to have that really expensive gym equipment. Some two pound arm weight and running a mile or two a day or every other day can make you feel great! And you have all of us.

Wondergirl · Feb 21, 2010, 06:06 PM

Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I hope so too, but it is through the school

Here's some advice from a counselor -- Don't start with "but"s. Don't set yourself up for failure. And don't just quit because you're not happy about how you think the counseling is going. There may be something very important going on that you aren't aware of. Question the counselor. YOU are the client. This is YOUR life that you are working on.

EmoPrincess · Feb 21, 2010, 06:07 PM

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Alone time can be so soothing. Try this, in your alone time read a good book. Write down all the things you would like to do when you are on your own. Keep a journal , it's like having a friend, you can write and it's your private thoughs no one else can share.

Workout , you don't have to have that really expensive gym equipment. Some two pound arm weight and running a mile or two a day or every other day can make you feel great! And you have all of us.

I work out every day, run a mile and a half on the treadmill. I used to write in a journal, but when my parents found it, I was punished for depression.

I can't stand alone time. I spent the majority of my life in isolation, now I can't stand it for more than a few hours at a time

EmoPrincess · Feb 21, 2010, 06:09 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Here's some advice from a counselor -- Don't start out with "but"s. Don't set yourself up for failure. And don't just quit because you're not happy about how you think the counseling is going. There may be something very important going on that you aren't aware of. Question the counselor. YOU are the client. This is YOUR life that you are working on.

Very true WG, Good advice too

Kitkat22 · Feb 21, 2010, 06:11 PM

Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I work out every day, run a mile and a half on the treadmill. I used to write in a journal, but when my parents found it, I was punished for depression.

I can't stand alone time. I spent the majority of my life in isolation, now I can't stand it for more than a few hours at a time

It's like Wondergirl stated; ask your therapist questions for one why you hate being alone. He can suggest something which will help you.

Kitkat22 · Feb 21, 2010, 06:21 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Here's some advice from a counselor -- Don't start out with "but"s. Don't set yourself up for failure. And don't just quit because you're not happy about how you think the counseling is going. There may be something very important going on that you aren't aware of. Question the counselor. YOU are the client. This is YOUR life that you are working on.

Very Good Advice

Wondergirl · Feb 21, 2010, 06:36 PM

Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

very true WG, Good advice too

I'm a counselor. If something makes you wonder or question what is going on, before you quit counseling, post it here somehow and I (we) will help you untangle whatever knot has been tied.

ohsohappy · Feb 21, 2010, 06:36 PM

Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I felt great about it until he said he needed time to think.

My mum has been telling me to date around, immediately. I had a date tonight with my other friend, but dad didn't let me go. I want to go out and have fun, take my mind off the break up. However, I feel I may be moving too fast.

I think the strong feelings I had for Cody were more fear of being alone than a desire to be with him.

It's good that you realize this. If you feel you need to slow down, then do so. At least you realize your feelings, pay attention to them, you'll be fine. :)

Wondergirl · Feb 21, 2010, 06:39 PM

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

It's like Wondergirl stated; ask your therapist questions for one why you hate being alone. He can suggest something which will help you.

If the counselor is worth his/her salt, he/she will drag out of Emo herself what will help her. She knows herself far better than the counselor does, and a good counselor knows that. That's one of the reasons psychological counseling is called "the talking cure."

Kitkat22 · Feb 21, 2010, 06:49 PM

[QUOTE=Wondergirl;2241213]If the counselor is worth his/her salt, he/she will drag out of Emo herself what will help her. She knows herself far better than the counselor does, and a good counselor knows that. That's one of the reasons psychological counseling is called "the talking cure."[/QUOTE

Thanks for telling me that. Lots of people need to have someone to guide them. You do a great job.

Wondergirl · Feb 21, 2010, 06:58 PM

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Thanks for telling me that. Lots of people need to have someone to guide them. You do a great job.

Clients tell me, "You are such a good counselor," yet I hardly say a word. I listen to and reflect back to them what they say, am empathetic without buying into the problems they bring up, and elicit strategies for improvement from them based on their own ideas. Getting counseling is the hardest work a client can do. The client has to make a total investment in the process.

EmoPrincess · Feb 21, 2010, 06:58 PM

Wondergirl, I envy your patients. I truly do. I hope that my new counselor is like you

Kitkat22 · Feb 21, 2010, 07:11 PM

Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

Wondergirl, I envy your patients. I truly do. I hope that my new counselor is like you

I totally agree with you EMOP. Wondergirl is truly a WONDER!

Wondergirl · Feb 21, 2010, 07:12 PM

Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

Wondergirl, I envy your patients. I truly do. I hope that my new counselor is like you

Thank you. I make my clients work hard. Let us know how things are going. We want counseling to be a helpful and useful experience for you.

Wondergirl · Feb 21, 2010, 07:14 PM

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

I totally agree with you EMOP. Wondergirl is truly a WONDER!!

I call myself Wondergirl because my day job is librarian, and I wonder a lot.