[theskerne]

I am married to a wonderful man and I don't know why he puts up with my jelousy.
I have been like this since we got married 26yrs ago.
I would like to know ow to deal with it

[Romefalls19]

Counseling, reading up on the subject are how I got control of it. It never goes away completely but it does get better, you know the signs now you have to do something about it

[J_9]

Have you identified the reasons for your jealousy? Was cheating by either one of you involved?

A little more info would be helpful.

[theskerne]

Counseling, reading up on the subject are how I got control of it. It never goes away completely but it does get better, you know the signs now you have to do something about it

What books did you read

[Justwantfair]

Jealousy oftens stems from insecurities we have with the other person or ourselves.

Determining the root of the problem, will be beneficial for to help handle or suggest how to handle the problem.

[theskerne]

Have you identified the reasons for your jealousy? Was cheating by either one of you involved?

A little more info would be helpful.

Thank you for the reply

I have no real reason to be jealous other than many years ago my husband used the sex chat line and since then I have felt a little unworthy.
My husband has always been good to me and provided in the way a husband should. But I feel I am not good enough at time I think this is probably self asteem. I have been told on many occasions I am a good looking women and I do take care of myself but this makes no difference to the way I feel.
I can control it but sometimes it raises its ugly head.
When we are on holiday I never feel like that even when women are around the pool with their costumes on and boobs hanging out this does not bother me.
But just the other day my husband was on Facebook a thing in a normal setting he would not of done but his workmates got him on it and that is why I decided to go on it myself to see what the fuss was about.
My husband was in a photograph with a young blonde from work an innocent photograph but this stured up anger in me to the point I made a comment on it that has angered people the girl in question and including my husband .
I feel so bad now I want to die and go away. I feel very bad for my husband because he has to work with these people. Please help if you can

[Justwantfair]

Wow, that really is a bad spot. You have put your husband in a bad spot as well with associates he works with. :(

When you get these feelings, you know that they are irrational. Do you step away from the situation and reflect before you seek action? Would it not have been more appropriate to address this situation privately with your husband? If he has given you love and devotion and you have no reason to doubt his faithfulness, you have to start acknowledging that and giving yourself some room, at the very least to think before you act.

Marital counseling may be a good option, as I feel your husband may ended up with some displaced anger regarding your jealousy as well. He seems devoted enough to be supportive of the idea of attending counseling.

[theskerne]

Wow, that really is a bad spot. You have put your husband in a bad spot as well with associates he works with. :(

When you get these feelings, you know that they are irrational. Do you step away from the situation and reflect before you seek action? Would it not have been more appropriate to address this situation privately with your husband? If he has given you love and devotion and you have no reason to doubt his faithfulness, you have to start acknowledging that and giving yourself some room, at the very least to think before you act.

Marital counseling may be a good option, as I feel your husband may ended up with some displaced anger regarding your jealousy as well. He seems devoted enough to be supportive of the idea of attending counseling.

Do you know of any useful books or tapes that could help me first. My husband won't go to counciling he won't talk about it he keeps saying it is all forgotten about.I would like to apologise to his work colleages but don't know what to do for the best. I am really truly sorry I have been ill since this all happened. But I have not killed anyone. The comment I made on face book. ( THAT IS COSY I WILL HAVE TO WATCH MYSELF)
Was all that was said nothing more. I have been made to feel I have committed murder

[artlady]

You asked for a book but I think this site link is a good one.
Jealousy is a complex issue and I think the site I am recommending deals with the it in a detailed manner.
I hope you find it useful.
Overcoming Jealousy

[theskerne]

You asked for a book but I think this site link is a good one.
Jealousy is a complex issue and I think the site I am recommending deals with the it in a detailed manner.
I hope you find it useful.
Overcoming Jealousy

I know that but I am deeply sorry and would like to say sorry to the people in question. I am not a bad person please believe me I will do anything for people. How can I say I am sorry to them or should I just leave well alone.

THANK YOU

[theskerne]

I know that but i am deeply sorry and would like to say sorry to the people in question. I am not a bad person please believe me i will do anything for people. How can i say i am sorry to them or should i just leave well alone.

THANK YOU

Thank you for the information you have sent me. I am working on it, so very grateful for your advice and all the very best in our new yearxx