Check out some similar questions!

tinkertoy12 · Jul 30, 2008, 08:43 AM

Ok so I'm new at this but I don't know what else to do so I turn to complete strangers to help me...
Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year now and I still am jealous over his friends and family. When we first got together it was all about me and now he acts like he can't stand me or worse he doesn't love me.Im scared to lose him. He can't hang out with his cousin cause I'm so jealous and we end up in so many fights when we get together after words. Someone please help!

sweetypie1 · Jul 30, 2008, 08:52 AM

Put yourself in his shoes, what if he was constantly jealous of everyone you taked to? Just trust him, if he loves you and you love him you can make it.

JBeaucaire · Jul 30, 2008, 09:10 AM

Jealousy can be fun and playful, like my wife and I play at jealous... fun stuff! For this to happen, you have to actually be very comfortable in your own skin. Are you? Do you like yourself? Truly? Do you find your strengths and good, your character is good, you make good choices, your trust your abilities and talents?

You need to. You see, the kind of jealous YOU have, the kind you wield like weapon and actually aim it at other people, that kind of jealousy isn't about your guy at all. It's about you not being comfortable in your own skin.

Here's the truth so many people think they can avoid - relationships end. Wrap your head around it. If a relationship isn't right, it's going to end. The problem is some people are SO tenacious, they won't let go until it's been years wasted, maybe even a marriage and a few kids to drag along, too. All because they won't face the easier, better, harsh but useful truth - relationships end.

Since most relationships end for one reason or another... you need a different approach. You need to be able to be in love with someone without needing to own them. You need to be able to date someone without needing to hide them from every other female on the planet. It can't be done anyway, so what do you gain with jealous controlling behaviors? Nothing!

Well, you DO gain frustration and an abused boyfriend who has no defense against your jealous weaponry. You two fight because you're tossing stuff at him he has no real response for. Even if some of your jealousies are founded by things he does... so what?

You NEED to be able to be with a guy, love him, laugh with him, even appreciate other people's beauty and attractiveness... without feeling threatened.

Here's why... If he can be lured away, he will be. Period. No fretting on your part will stop it. You might be able to protect from it for a few years, but if he can be tempted away from you, it will happen. So instead of trying to KEEP him from acting normally, just be the best YOU that you can be. Be a great, unclingy, unneedy, ambitious, happening girlfriend. Be the kind of girl a guy is comfortable around, a girl who admires him, who encourages him, who laughs at his jokes, admires the things he admires (including beautiful women), and who confidently stands at his side to face whatever may happen to come that day.

... All without fear. The future will come. Have the best TODAY you can by chasing those jealousies away. If jealousy is going to exist in your relationship, make sure it's the kind you recognize as YOUR issue, not his, and then the two of you joke your way through it together.

If you don't, this relationship end BECAUSE of the jealousy. It's probably going to end one day for SOME reason, just make sure it's not for something you could have avoided.

BTW, I'm not being a downer on relationships. I say most relationships end because they do... hopefully all except the last one. I dated 7 girls in my life, loved 4 of them. I was engaged to the 3rd, but married the 4th. That was 23 years ago. I know that making the right choices and letting "love" go when it's the right thing to do will lead to an even better love later.

You have to trust that fact. You have to not be scared of it. You have to not be scared of letting go... of your jealousy most of all. It could keep you in a relationship longer than is needed, and that keeps you from your future final love.

If THIS guy is your final love, jealousy isn't needed.

If THIS guy isn't your final love, jealousy will distract you from finding that out.

talaniman · Jul 30, 2008, 09:13 AM

You may need some professional help with your issues, or become knowledgeable by reading, and studying. Be aware that you can destroy any relationship you ever have unless you change, control, or overcome this behavior.

Romefalls19 · Jul 30, 2008, 09:28 AM

Seek professional help on this matter, jealousy is a cancer, it will eat away at everything you have until you have nothing left. It will not go away by yourself, I know first hand

plonak · Jul 30, 2008, 09:50 AM

OK! Want a sire fire way to lose your man? Keep it up!

Jealousy is a relationship killer... guaranteed.. your relationship shouldn't be all about you.. how uterly arrogant you are for thinking that.. of course the first couple of months you're in the hunnymoon phase, but come one that fades over time.. and then real life starts.. he can't have friends?? My goodness you're crazy.. say goodbye to this dude because if I were with someone like that.. I'd drop him so fast he wouldn't even see it coming...