[JoeCanada76]

[sarcasm on]

For the life of me, I can't imagine why anyone would ever give this person a hard time, at work or anywhere.

</sarcasm off>

Fear not, my friend, no amount of rudeness will deter me from my goal, for thou art with me here, and yes, you are responding, so it's all good.

You don't have to be reasonable, we'll cover that. You just let it all out. We can take it.

Go team.

Well All I want to say is that the OP is her own worst enemy. Would like to say more, but everything else has been covered here.

[Evgb]

1. Yes, we remember it, but we cannot tell you why he does what he does. You know him better then we do and you don't know why so how would we?

2. JB didn't attack you, he gave you constructive criticism but you took it as an attack and decided to attack back. That's you, not JB.

3. Do you?

4. We're all here to help people but we can't read minds. We base our advice on the information given. The information you gave is not something we can form a definite opinion on. Like I said in #1, we don't know why your supervisor is like this any more then you do.

5. We're not your friends. Also, why not ask them this question, seeing as you don't like our responses.

6. And JB is attacking you? That was rude and not necessary. I suggest that you follow your own advice.



This is a public forum. Once you post your question it belongs to AMHD and anyone that's a member can answer. It's up to you, the original poster to decide which advice to accept and which advice to disregard.

I notice that you don't like being told what you don't want to hear. The truth is often hard to accept.

Good luck.

I don't want your advice, and that does not make me a bad person. Why do you even care? (rhetorical question). I certainly don't care what you think. If you want to get the last word, then that's fine with me. I am not going to waste one more single moment of my life arguing with you.

[Evgb]

Well All I want to say is that the OP is her own worst enemy. Would like to say more, but everything else has been covered here.

I don't want your advice, and that does not make me a bad person. Why do you even care? (rhetorical question). I certainly don't care what you think. If you want to get the last word, then that's fine with me. I am not going to waste one more single moment of my life arguing with you

[Evgb]

[sarcasm on]

For the life of me, I can't imagine why anyone would ever give this person a hard time, at work or anywhere.

</sarcasm off>

Fear not, my friend, no amount of rudeness will deter me from my goal, for thou art with me here, and yes, you are responding, so it's all good.

You don't have to be reasonable, we'll cover that. You just let it all out. We can take it.

Go team.

I don't want your advice, and that does not make me a bad person. Why do you even care? (rhetorical question). I certainly don't care what you think. If you want to get the last word, then that's fine with me. I am not going to waste one more single moment of my life arguing with you

[Alty]

LMAO! She doesn't want our advice and doesn't care if we get the last word, yet here she is posting the same thing three times.

Sounds to me like you're more then willing to waste your time arguing with us.

As for me, I'm bored, so I can do this all night.

Your turn. :)

[JoeCanada76]

Now we know why her boss laughs or smirks. He is thinking to himself this girl is absolutely crazy, nuts. Why do I have to put up with your crap. I think it is you that have the problems, not the boss. You have shown your true ways here on the board. You come here looking for advice and opinions. We give them and you can not handle it and all you do is waste your energy by repeating something like that is going to convince us that our advice is wrong and that your right. Get off your ego trip. Get off your arse. Do some work and never mind about the smirks. All he is thinking is one day she is going to slip and I will have to fire her arse, because all she is, is big time trouble is nothing but trouble. She may think she is trying her best but she has lots of problems and I just feel sorry for her and that is the only reason why I am keeping her around.

Okay, so that pretty sums up what he is thinking because I am thinking the same about this point.

[Alty]

Whenever you're in a room full of people and all you can think is "Man, all these people are seriously strange and have major issues", you may want to look in the mirror, because it's probably you.

Those are just the facts.

[JBeaucaire]

And now for something completely different...

[justcurious55]

You can say I may be too sensitive, or need to get thicker skin, that's one thing; it's another to say I'm the one that needs to lighten up. I think there are a lot of people on here that need to lighten up, chill out, and maybe not come off so combative.
Thanks.

I don't see where anyone was trying to attack you or came of as combative. Yet you were still very defensive. Everyone on here is trying to help you. And yes, there are sometimes where you just have to learn to deal with things. And sometimes you have to be less sensitive. No one has put you down for being sensitive. We're just pointing things out.

[JoeCanada76]

It seems to me that now all of the sudden. The op changed her start of the op completely different. Wow tell a whole complete story and change everything around, because you did not like the answers? It is a completely different question now. How come is that? I would like to know.

[Gemini54]

I'm REALLY confused...

The boss smirks
They laugh at what she eats
And, I missed the one about her being reprimanded because she's late...

Now they want her to fill in for them while they're on holidays.

Why does she keep posting questions if she doesn't like the answers?

To the OP - if you can't and don't want to take time off college to fill in for them while they are on holidays then SAY so. You seem overly forthright and clear regarding people's opinions of you on this forum, so do the same with them. Just tell them.

If your college work is your priority then let them know - I don't think there is another alternative. You may well lose your job, but it doesn't sound as if you enjoy working there anyway - so it will surely be a blessing in disguise?

[JBeaucaire]

I think she secretly craves my feedback. Yeah, that's it...

[Evgb]

I was not going to respond to any of these, because sometimes it is better to walk away. However, I did not change this around. I originally had a few separate threads. All of a sudden, I signed in, and they are all jumbled together. I don't know what happened; I just joined this site very recently, so I don't really know how it all works.

As for all of the horrible things that people are saying about me on here, I am just going to say a few things and you can take it or leave it. :

I realize that I may have been overly sensitive and defensive in my initial responses to some of your opinions. I have been very sensitive lately because there have been many things going on in my life; especially at work. I felt that I was asking a pretty harmless question, just for the hell of it to see what people thought it might mean (because I was stumped). When I got responses saying that the problem was how I am reacting to his behavior, it hit a nerve because I have let it go for so long (not just this, but all of his mean behavior) and am sick of just letting it go. The way that he treats me doesn't stop. I have thought through what to do about it so many times-ignore it & let it go, say something directly, say something to my boss, deal with it until I'm done with school, or quit. I have asked for advice from friends. They do not think that I'm a bad person or that I'm "crazy nuts" (to quote what someone wrote on here). Most of them say I need to get the hell out of there, and that he seems crazy.

I guess I was not expecting people to try to analyze me, and shift focus on me, because I did not ask, "Why does he bother me?", I asked, "Why does he do this?".
I got defensive because I felt attacked when people were saying that I'm too sensitive (I am very sensitive, and I do not consider that a bad trait) and I just felt like certain people were implying that he has no responsibility in this. He is the one who is behaving in a disrespectful, mean, and manipulative manner towards me. I just don't think that the fact that I am a sensitive person warrants mean behavior, or makes it right. I believe that many people could benefit from being more sensitive and empathetic. Maybe part of the problem is that I just expect people to be pure-hearted, and when they are not, I become extremely disheartened.

Like many of you said, you know nothing about me. Sometimes it is hard to pick-up social cues (like tone, facial expressions, etc.) from email, text-messaging, etc. I thought certain people on here were being combative, and I could have misunderstood. I got p!$sed off and could have been misunderstood as well. I simply chose not to take certain people's advice, because I did not agree with it, and that is all that I should have said. It is everyone's right to post their opinions, but I can choose whether to read and use those opinions, and whether to take people's advice. That is my prerogative. I find some of the things about me that were written on here very hurtful and unnecessary. Once again, as you said, you do not know me. I am not a crazy person. I can seem like one when I'm really mad; I inherited a volatile temper that only comes out when my feelings are deeply hurt. I am coming from a place of being extremely wounded by this man who has been very cruel towards me. I did not post it all here because I could fill pages and pages, and frankly I don't have the time to be doing this right now. Unfortunately, I do care what people think of me; it is something I am working on overcoming.

I thought I was asking a really innocent question, and I still think it was innocent. I know I have the choice to either let this effect me or not, but I am ruled by my emotions and it does effect me. (This is also something I am trying to work towards overcoming, or at least having better control over). I have tried to keep it from affecting me, and succeeded for a while. I am ready to break down and just walk out of there, but I can't until I have another job. I came on here because I just wanted to get it all out somehow. I felt attacked, so I retaliated, and had a lot of really nasty assumptions made about me. That's fine. As I said, you can take it or leave it. I've realized that there really aren't that many compassionate people out there, so I shouldn't expect anything from anyone. I will just continue to try to be the best person that I can, and not hold people up to my ideals.

[Evgb]

I think she secretly craves my feedback. Yeah, that's it...

I do not crave your feedback. I chose not to take your advice. That is my choice.

[artlady]

Don't sweat the little things in life,like on line forums and people who can't possibly get you from the cyber vantage point.
We really are here to help but sometimes in our rush to judgment we forget there are real people on the other end of that keyboard.

That works both ways to the asker and the answerer.

We could probably all benefit from a little thicker skin and less defensive posturing.

Stuff happens and then we forget about it.No big deal,no one was seriously injured in this thread :)

[Evgb]

Don't sweat the little things in life,like on line forums and people who can't possibly get you from the cyber vantage point.
We really are here to help but sometimes in our rush to judgment we forget there are real people on the other end of that keyboard.

That works both ways to the asker and the answerer.

We could probably all benefit from a little thicker skin and less defensive posturing.

Stuff happens and then we forget about it.No big deal,no one was seriously injured in this thread :)

Thank you.

[Gemini54]

I got defensive because I felt attacked when people were saying that I'm too sensitive (I am very sensitive, and I do not consider that a bad trait) and I just felt like certain people were implying that he has no responsibility in this. He is the one who is behaving in a disrespectful, mean, and manipulative manner towards me. I just don't think that the fact that I am a sensitive person warrants mean behavior, or makes it right. I believe that many people could benefit from being more sensitive and empathetic. Maybe part of the problem is that I just expect people to be pure-hearted, and when they are not, I become extremely disheartened.

In all honesty, what many posters are trying to say is that you can't change another person's behavior. Sure, it's horrible to work with someone that is mean, nasty and rude. Sure, it would be nice if they were kind and compassionate. But they aren't.

No one is saying that because you're sensitive you should put up with mean behavior - but you can't change another person's behavior just by saying "I'm sensitive, don't treat me mean".

How are you going to MAKE your boss take responsibility for his behavior? You can't. It's a workplace not a marriage and when you're in his workplace, if you want to stay there, you work by his rules and put up with his attitude and moods. If you don't like it, you get out.

Of course we could all benefit from being more sensitive and empathetic. Hypothetically, if you were more sensitive and empathetic you might realize that your boss IS who he IS, he doesn't know any better, he's a result of his childhood and conditioning. (As we all are) You might also view him with increased compassion and understand that there is no changing some people, they are just unpleasant individuals.

To be completely frank I can only see one alternative here, which is that you need to get out of there.

[ScottGem]

I originally had a few separate threads. All of a sudden, I signed in, and they are all jumbled together. I don't know what happened; I just joined this site very recently, so I don't really know how it all works.

I merged your threads. We prefer that all questions referencing the same issue be kept together. Its often useful to see the whole story and it seems to be the case here.

[Evgb]

How are you going to MAKE your boss take responsibility for his behavior? You can't. It's a workplace not a marriage and when you're in his workplace, if you want to stay there, you work by his rules and put up with his attitude and moods. If you don't like it, you get out.

Of course we could all benefit from being more sensitive and empathetic. Hypothetically, if you were more sensitive and empathetic you might realize that your boss IS who he IS, he doesn't know any better, he's a result of his childhood and conditioning. (As we all are) You might also view him with increased compassion and understand that there is no changing some people, they are just unpleasant individuals.

To be completely frank I can only see one alternative here, which is that you need to get out of there.

I am not going to MAKE him change his behavior-As you said, I can't.
I am an extremely sensitive, empathetic and compassionate person and I do realize that he issues that I can not resolve. (I never asked how to stop him from smirking at me-I asked why he might be because I am an inquisitive person). I have felt very sorry for him because he is so miserable that he has to bring other people down to feel better about himself.

This issue is already in the process of being resolved for me. I decided to look for another job.

[Gemini54]

This issue is already in the process of being resolved for me. I decided to look for another job.

Hallelujah.