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    baap_ki_adalat's Avatar
    baap_ki_adalat Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
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    #21

    Oct 19, 2009, 09:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Wow, she doesn't contact her sister for months and your freaking out over a few days. You have more insight into her than we do and to be honest your answers to questions are vague, so if you don't mind a few questions, just for background and info.

    How often do you see each other on average?

    How often have you vacationed together?

    How does her family, especially her mom get along with you?

    Do you both work, and are college educated?

    What kind of dating did you both do before?

    How is the intimate relationship between you?

    What kind of future plans do you have, and what have you done toward them?

    How does she feel about your family?

    Does she have any family problems, or family issues?

    Are you in America or a western country?

    Do you share the same religion?




    We see each other almost every second day... call and text everyday


    We vacationed many times, including 3 overseas trips

    Her mom doesn't likes me very much

    She works and am into business(shes more occupied than I am)

    Yes we have intimate relations since 4 years... and its great


    We planned to marry in 2 years and I have been summing money for this to settle down


    She's OK with my family


    Yes she has some family issues, but now the situation is better and now she's doing like this


    No we don't share the same religion


    We live in europe
    TrueFaith's Avatar
    TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 313
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    #22

    Oct 19, 2009, 09:32 PM

    It is hard my friend.. you are no fool!
    Never think that. OK
    We learn we live we love
    Its just life.

    Its painful man. But you will be stronger for this trust me
    baap_ki_adalat's Avatar
    baap_ki_adalat Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
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    #23

    Oct 19, 2009, 09:37 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by TrueFaith View Post
    It is hard my friend.. you are no fool!
    never think that. ok
    we learn we live we love
    its just life.

    its painful man. but you will be stronger for this trust me
    Thanks truefaith for your support. I know I can get over this... I need to keep myself occupied with other things... keep you updated if something happens
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #24

    Oct 19, 2009, 10:11 PM

    I think you wait a week, so the emotional dust settles, and then call, not text her and see what's up, and ask her straight out, if her feelings have changed, or what. Forget the texting all together, its best done in person.
    baap_ki_adalat's Avatar
    baap_ki_adalat Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
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    #25

    Oct 19, 2009, 10:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    I think you wait a week, so the emotional dust settles, and then call, not text her and see whats up, and ask her straight out, if her feelings have changed, or what. Forget the texting all together, its best done in person.
    OK mate I will wait for a week.and then call her. But you know she is very smart, she might confuse me more. She might say- u didn't call me , so I thought you don't need me so I also didn't contacted u. things like this. In all this blame game I won't be able to judge her exact feelings. I know she's busy these days as she was telling last that their was an audit coming to their firm. But I think can't she just text me even once... if she really loves me then she should have at least just once... lets see... but help me find also a better way to exactly judge her feelings. Thanks
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #26

    Oct 19, 2009, 11:15 PM

    If you don't know your female well enough after 4 years, then you haven't been paying close enough attention to her.

    That why I told you face to face is the best way, because she would have to tell me to my face if it was over or not. I would find out what she expects of me, so I could decide for myself if she was worth pursuing or not. I wouldn't be there for small talk either. Maybe she will want what you want still, maybe not. That's what you need to find out.

    No begging. You'll hate yourself later.
    baap_ki_adalat's Avatar
    baap_ki_adalat Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
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    #27

    Oct 20, 2009, 08:24 AM

    Update... guys now day its 8th day of NC and still no reply from her, I feel very desperate , its 1st time in 4 yrs that v haven't talked for whole 8 days... I was about to break NC, even wrrote a sms but didn't send... help... even f I need to write, tell me what to write... I know its not good to do this... I have mixed feelings , but sometimes desperation is very high... comments
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #28

    Oct 20, 2009, 09:12 AM
    Find something else to do, or make up something. Better yet, read my signature. Read the stickies link.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #29

    Oct 20, 2009, 09:34 AM
    Writing to her will only confuse you more. If she responds, you will spend hours and hours over-analyzing what she wrote (even though she's not ready to talk to you yet). If she doesn't respond, you will still spend hours and hours wondering why she doesn't respond and regretting that you contacted her in the first place.

    Shift your focus to doing something else. You need to get as distracted as possible. Stop sitting around waiting for her to contact you. Go do things for yourself.
    baap_ki_adalat's Avatar
    baap_ki_adalat Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
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    #30

    Oct 20, 2009, 09:46 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by I wish View Post
    Writing to her will only confuse you more. If she responds, you will spend hours and hours over-analyzing what she wrote (even though she's not ready to talk to you yet). If she doesn't respond, you will still spend hours and hours wondering why she doesn't respond and regretting that you contacted her in the first place.

    Shift your focus to doing something else. You need to get as distracted as possible. Stop sitting around waiting for her to contact you. Go do things for yourself.
    Yes I understand, but I sometime get really desperated, I wrote 1 more text message but didn't sent. I don't know why she is not writing. May be she has no more feelings left for me. I have done so much for her. She knows that no one will love her more than me.but still she's doing like this... its 8 th day and I feel as if I am getting away from her. She must have really forgotten me... how can people be so rude... what have I done so wrong... God plzzz give me power to overcome this... thanks to all you friends
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #31

    Oct 20, 2009, 09:52 AM

    Being desperate just means that you're not busy enough. Go find something else to do that doesn't bring you near a communication medium. I suggest that you give your phone to someone else to hold for a while.

    Go play some sports, go hang out with friends, go watch TV, read, find a hobby, etc.
    baap_ki_adalat's Avatar
    baap_ki_adalat Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
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    #32

    Oct 20, 2009, 09:55 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by I wish View Post
    Being desperate just means that you're not busy enough. Go find something else to do that doesn't bring you near a communication medium. I suggest that you give your phone to someone else to hold for a while.

    Go play some sports, go hang out with friends, go watch tv, read, find a hobby, etc.
    I am not that much into sports, can you plzz tell me anything that I can do to pass time on the net. I am trying my best to distract... thanks to you buddies... ur words build up my confdence...

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