Dear friends... I am in a relationship with my girlfriend since 4 years. We had ups and downs... but we finally patched up and had a good time. She always credited me for my love and affection toward her. Basically she's a cold hearted person, even when everything was good, she rarely used to text me when I was away for a month or 2. but in last year her mom started to intervene between our relation and kept her saying that I am not the ideal match for me, she listened then ignored.things kept on going, this time when I am away, she used to text me , chat regularly , she's busy in her schedule but still managed this. From last few weeks she was angry as I was very possessive about her.last time when we were on a chat she was very rude and said that she doesn't want to be with me as I am very jealous and doesn't believe in her. I explained her that I believe her and love her, but she was very strange in her behavior and said don't call or text. I begged and pleaded but no luck. She treated me like a dog. I was so emotional that I text her that I love her but she doesn't understands my love and I have myself respect and can't compromise on it and she has no right to treat me like this. I maintained NC( no contact) for a week, today is the 8th day, still no reply from her. Can you guys help me what to do? I feel very desperate as I used to text her often and call regularly... help me out

You should stay NC-for whatever reasons she s acting the way she is you need to stay away.
You re better off without this drama in your life.

You say you have self respect and can't compromise on it but begging, pleading, and your unrelenting professions of love say just the opposite. That's OK I'd venture to guess most of us have done it before.

My suggestion now, leave her alone. As in having No Contact with her until she approaches you and says something to the effect that, “I've screwed up and I want you to give me another chance.”

Listen, you told her how you felt. It's now in her court on what SHE wants to do. You can not force it, you can not control it. You just have to begin letting go and hope for the best.

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Originally Posted by amicon

You should stay NC-for whatever reasons she s acting the way she is you need to stay away.
You re better off without this drama in your life.

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I know I need to stay NC, but amicon I am very depressed as in last 4 years never has happened that we didn't contact each other for more than 6 days... earlier she used to at least text an apology or just ask - how do you do? But his time no rplies...

She already knows how you feel about her. If she wants to contact you, she will. Focus on your own life. Stop worrying about hers. You also sound very needy. You need to work on your own issues as well.

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Originally Posted by baap_ki_adalat

i know i need to stay NC, but amicon i am very depressed as in last 4 years never has happened that we didnt contact each other for more than 6 days.........earlier she used to atleast text an apology or just ask - how do u do?? but his time no rplies.......

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This is exactly why you need to stick with no contact. The fact that you are suffering so much means that you need to put some distance from the situation so that you can heal. Once you've healed you will feel more objective about the situation.

Here's a list of things that will help you keep your mind occupied: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...kup-78597.html

What good would putting pressure on her do? Don't be so selfish. Let her take whatever time she needs before she gets back to you. She obviously isn't ready to talk to you yet, so respect her wishes. Have some patience.

I'm sorry to sound harsh, but you really need to get busy and keep your mind occupied. Think or do something else that doesn't revolved around her.

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Originally Posted by Imabadman

You say you have self respect and can't compromise on it but begging, pleading, and your unrelenting professions of love say just the opposite. That’s OK I’d venture to guess most of us have done it before.

My suggestion now, leave her alone. As in having No Contact with her until she approaches you and says something to the effect that, “I’ve screwed up and I want you to give me another chance.”

Listen, you told her how you felt. It’s now in her court on what SHE wants to do. You can not force it, you can not control it. You just have to begin letting go and hope for the best.

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Its not like that my friend... in love a person becomes very emotional and sentimental(atleast I am)... I never find asn issue to fight with her, I agree I am a bit possesive and jealous... but for last few months I was getting over it and she too appreciated me for this... I only begged her because I didn't wanted to fight again... do you know aht she said- don't call me, I don't have time for you, I got to watch my serial and hang the phone... these were the last words I heard... I was so hurt that I wrote her that I am not a dog and leave me alone... but now after 1 week I feel a little down and desperate... thanks for you to helping me out

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Originally Posted by I wish

This is exactly why you need to stick with no contact. The fact that you are sufferring so much means that you need to put some distance from the situation so that you can heal. Once you've healed you will feel more objective about the situation.

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I have no one to share excpet you people, I feel so hurt that how can she be so arrogant... what should I do to heal and maintain distance

You should keep yourself busy,see friends and do things that make you feel good. Sports,music whatever you like to do.
And as you say stay NC.

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Originally Posted by amicon

You should keep yourself busy,see friends and do things that make you feel good. Sports,music whatever you like to do.
And as you say stay NC.

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I have tried to keep myself busy for the last whole week , I can do it , I have done it before too... I hope God helps me and don't test my will power more. Is there any limit for how long this NC should last to make any conclusion??

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Originally Posted by baap_ki_adalat

is there any limit for how long this NC should last to make any conclusion???

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There is no time limit on how long NC lasts. But you need to understand why you are in NC. You are doing this so that YOU CAN HEAL. It's NOT to win her back. You need to gain some perspective on this situation.

Remember, she already knows how you feel. So if she wants you back, she will look for you, that is out of your control. You can't force it upon her.

There is no time limit-it takes the time it takes. And it gets easier day by day. Just look after yourself.

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Originally Posted by amicon

There is no time limit-it takes the time it takes. And it gets easier day by day. Just look after yourself.

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Thanks friend... for this week I was expecting her to reply... my real Nc starts from today... she also knows that I may contact her.but she thinks for me week is a limit... thank... I will keep you guys updated... and thanks again for your healing messages

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Originally Posted by I wish

There is no time limit on how long NC lasts. But you need to understand why you are in NC. You are doing this so that YOU CAN HEAL. It's NOT to win her back. You need to gain some perspective on this situation.

Remember, she already knows how you feel. So if she wants you back, she will look for you, that is out of your control. You can't force it upon her.

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I


I was into Nc to show her some attitude and to clear her misconceptions that I can't live a single day without texting her... I thought a week will be sufficient to wake up her emotions.. but it seems she's into something real serious stuff... the real game start now folks... I will be needing your precious suggestions to keep me confident and going... sometimes I really feel like text her and asking her what is the matter... but I have my selfrespect... thanks friend for keeping my moral up

You re welcome. Keep us posted and take care.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...lk-303157.html

Hate to delete your post because you aren't following a simple rules.

I am more curious as to what has changed that put her off this relationship. it sounds as if you live apart and have been dating for 4 years. Thats a long time not to have made long term plans. And how old are you.

In many cultures dating that long, is looked down upon without some future plans, and even in America, that long of a relationship tends to go stale very quickly, when one partner wants more commitment, and the other likes things the way they are, and doesn't want to change. Quite a conflict.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...lk-303157.html

Hate to delete your post because you aren't following a simple rules.

I am more curious as to what has changed that put her off this relationship. it sounds as if you live apart and have been dating for 4 years. Thats a long time not to have made long term plans. And how old are you.

In many cultures dating that long, is looked down upon without some future plans, and even in America, that long of a relationship tends to go stale very quickly, when one partner wants more commitment, and the other likes things the way they are, and doesn't want to change. Quite a conflict.

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As per my thinking she feels as if I am very possesive about her. She needs freedom and space.. yes we lived in the same city and were dating and had plans for long term also... I am 26 and she's 22... she is very simple and intelligent girl.. her character is very sophisticated.she sometimes said to me- I know what type of girl I am, its npt easy to live with a short tempered girl like me... and I used to say- I love you that's y I am with u... shes very passive in communication... she might even not call her sister for months... and once when she was drunk she admitted that she doesn't text me because she wants me to run after her... so this is the whole story

Guys its day 2 and still no response from her. It never happened in these 4 years... I feel desperate and break NC but I think I should wait... or should I text her to ask that is everything over! Comments

You say in love a person becomes emotional, only if you let it rule you kid.
Which is what you have done
You have let your feelings take over you.
And you have lost yourself in the relationship

It was probable your first one yeah? Or maybe 2nd?
Most get like that the first few times around.

I wouldn't worry too much about it. Keep no contact. And let this girl go
Work on your emotions.


Wish you all the best

Wow, she doesn't contact her sister for months and your freaking out over a few days. You have more insight into her than we do and to be honest your answers to questions are vague, so if you don't mind a few questions, just for background and info.

How often do you see each other on average?

How often have you vacationed together?

How does her family, especially her mom get along with you?

Do you both work, and are college educated?

What kind of dating did you both do before?

How is the intimate relationship between you?

What kind of future plans do you have, and what have you done toward them?

How does she feel about your family?

Does she have any family problems, or family issues?

Are you in America or a western country?

Do you share the same religion?

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

You say in love a person becomes emotional, only if you let it rule you kid.
which is what you have done
you have let your feelings take over you.
and you have lost yourself in the relationship

it was probable your first one yeah? or maybe 2nd?
most get like that the first few times around.

I wouldnt worry to much about it. keep no contact. and let this girl go
work on your emotions.


wish you all the best

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It was my 2nd one and most long living. 1st one lasted a year. I learned many things from that and was very careful this time. But what can I do, if she doesn't wants to contact me. She has her own ego and is very sophidticated. I am an emotinal fool that I love her so much. I know that I need to maintan NC but its very difficult... I am trying my best... but its hard to believe that how can she so easily dump me after a 4 year relationship.