[Jake2008]

Good for you, and kudos to him, for actually sitting down and clearing the air.

[Princess J]

So I know my husband and I have our wrk cut out for us. We had our baby the 23 of sept. That's #5.. But I still can't stop thinking he's having an affair. Either I'm suffering from paranoia or my greater self is trying to tell me something! Like I said, I know we have a lot on our plates but this distance.. argh! Where does it come from!? I have little if any evidence. I'm at the point of wanting to hire a PI. But is that not only to far but to expensive?HELP please! Not sure what to do

[talaniman]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...lk-303157.html

I'm glad men can't have babies, and go through all those mood swings, and hormone changes. Oh wait, we do go through those things, when we have our females pregnant. Well I'm glad I don't physically have to drop a load like that, or even carry it around for so long.

The point, and the reason why you have this feeling is, you need more attention from your man to make you feel good, because you just had a child, and have to recover.

That's why all your threads were merged so the guys can see what goes on in the female mind, during a very tender time.

In other words, recover and be healthy, and tripping is okay. We understand.

Just give him time, and space to recover, too!

[Princess J]

My threads were merged.. K!well tis true.. I need more attention.. and I'm certain he feels the same.and YES we women get a wee but nutty and needy when were expecting. But is that really where the paranoia is stemming from?Im sure some of it is that.

[talaniman]

The point is you won't know, until your able to realistically face the facts, and not just feelings.

I have read all you have written, and know the feelings you have, but where are the facts??

[Princess J]

Gotcha! Well how does one get proof?! Its not like I can follow him around everyday.. and I don't have immediate acces to his cell bill.. and those don't list text messages.or emails sent anyhow. All I have is his word.I also think the paronia could come from fear. He took is all in and I feel like I'm more of a burden than anything. I don't work outside of the home so I only contribute by what I do here(which is quite a lot) and the child support I receive.I will take your advice and give my hormones a chance to settle before I jump to anymmore conclusions!

[talaniman]

Raising kids, and maintaining a home is a heckuva lot of work, and just as important as making a paycheck. You may be underpaid for the work you do, but don't let anyone undervalue your efforts, for any reasons. Hardly a burden, in my opinion, but a valuable asset.

[JudyKayTee]

Gotcha! Well how does one get proof?!? Its not like I can follow him around everyday..and I don't have immediate acces to his cell bill..and those don't list text msgs.or emails sent anyhow. All I have is his word.I also think the paronia could come from fear. He took is all in and I feel like I'm more of a burden than anything. I don't work outside of the home so I only contribute by what I do here(which is quite a lot) and the child support I receive.I will take your advice and give my hormones a chance to settle befor I jump to anymmore conclusions!

One hires a Licensed Private Investigator - if one can afford it.

I agree that you are probably "thinking" with your hormones. I will say that at least 80% of the time when someone contacts me about a cheating spouse their instincts are right. You, though, have hormones to contend with.

I'd give it some time and try to be less paranoid. It's this type of reception, cross examination at home that gives men pause.

I will say that your other post appears to indicate that you do believe he is not committed to your relationship - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-...ml#post2057859.

As I said in that post, you cannot control anyone's thoughts (for that matter I'm not sure you can control anyone's actions/behavior) and everyone fantasizes at some point. It's the acting on it that becomes a problem.