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natk89 · Oct 9, 2009, 08:58 AM

OK I have a six month old baby and I was wondering what would happen if her dad takes me to court. I have set up a schedule so he can see her when he get off work until 6:30 mon through fri and 4 hours on sat. I told him that cause I breastfeed and can't get hardly anything out on the pump that I would be there but out of the way. I also told him it could be anywhere not restricted to my house. He didn't see her for the first two months of her life. Then came around once maybe twice a week for two months and the last two months he hasn't seen her or asked about her. He would always yell saying I was keeping his child from him and that he was going to take me to court. He makes really good money and can afford a good lawyer but I can't afford one at all. He's very mentally abusive but I have no proof. For instance he said if I wasn't going to be with him I wasn't going to get to be with our daughter. Of course without proof its my word against his. I don't want to take her away from him. But I would prefer supervised visits. If he does take me to court what will most likely happen?

Also I was 16 when he started having sex with me and he was 19 but Washington state age consent is 16. The sex was consentual but there was certain sex acts that he kept pressuring until he got what he wanted. Can I file for statutory rape? If not is there anything I can do about that?:confused:

stinawords · Oct 9, 2009, 09:41 AM

How long ago was it? There is a statute of limitations that may have expired. If he goes to court with a lawyer then he will win basically whatever he wants (provided you don't have a lawyer). That is the general rule when only one party has a lawyer in court with them. The judge will look out for the best interest of the child (which is to have both parents involved in their life). So, it will probably be a short but graduated visitation schedule that may start with supervised visitation for a very short time then a little longer and by the time the child is one year old over night. In most states over night visitation is not ordered until the child is one year of age but as soon as they hit that twelve month mark they are no longer an infant so infant laws don't apply anymore.

natk89 · Oct 9, 2009, 07:06 PM

So that's it? I don't have money so he gets whatever he wants? There's nothing I can do in my defense?

ScottGem · Oct 9, 2009, 07:42 PM

First forget the rape charges. Second you need to do a premptive strike here. You need to file for full legal custody and child support.

stinawords · Oct 9, 2009, 09:09 PM

No, you don't just sit back in defeat. You file in court first for custody and child support. Do this before he goes to court. So, like first thing on Monday morning file to get a court date.

natk89 · Oct 10, 2009, 07:33 AM

I've already done the child support. Should I still go get a court date?

stinawords · Oct 10, 2009, 08:51 AM

Do you have custody by court order? I would guess that you do if you were awarded child support. You can shop around for a lawyer to find one that might take payments. The best thing you can do for yourself and your child is to be proactive.

ScottGem · Oct 10, 2009, 01:48 PM

So you were awarded full legal custody and support? Is he paying the support?

Fr_Chuck · Oct 10, 2009, 06:01 PM

I would say you go to court, make sure you have legal custody, and he is paying his child support.

But also wake up that he will get visits, and you can ask for your time frame but the court will decide what times he gets the child.

He can not be forced to visit in your home, if you ask for superivised visits you will have to prove why he is a threat to the child.

He will most likely even get over night visits by the time the child is at least a year old. So you are going to have to accept that he has legal rights that you will have to accept

phlanx · Oct 10, 2009, 06:12 PM

I hope you don't mind but I have to chip in here.

The one thing that is common in most courts through the lands is proof.

When it comes to family law, the courts hear and enormous amount of hatred between parents, and most the time they have to decide what is in the best interests of a child between two warring factions.

The one thing that you can do is tape record any telephone conversations, copy letters emails of contact.

Regardless if the lawyer is the best in the land, if you can demonstrate you have tried to provide reasonable contact, while being calm and mature in the face of unreasonable behaviour, the judge will see your ex in the light of day

Any request from his expensive lawyer would be looked on unfavourable

Hope this helps

ScottGem · Oct 10, 2009, 06:21 PM

Originally Posted by phlanx

Any request from his expensive lawyer would be looked on unfavourable

Hope this helps

While there are a lot of similarities between UK and US laws. The structure of litigation is different. In the UK you have barristers who handle trial work and solicitors who handle other aspects of law.

In litigation in the US, if a layman goes up against a trained attorney, the attorney is more likely to win. This is mostly because the attorney will know all the rules of trial and evidence and the layman won't, leaving the layman at a distinct disadvantage.

phlanx · Oct 10, 2009, 06:33 PM

Evening Scott, this I totally understand ( Solictors work in Magistrate Courts, Barristers in Crown Court, Mixture of the two for County Court)

However, Nat was stating she didn't stand a chance, and whereas in the land of lawyers with the twists of the laws is certainly known, there is one thing that is true

Do what you can and fight with what you have.

Nat, stated she had no chance, all I was trying to offer was a small way that she could fight

At this point I could go on and on about Sun Tze - but that would be too much of a cliché

But Nat, I will quote one man : In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.

Never give up till it is over if ever.

cdad · Oct 10, 2009, 07:46 PM

Originally Posted by phlanx

I hope you dont mind but I have to chip in here.

The one thing that you can do is tape record any telephone conversations, copy letters emails of contact.

Regardless if the lawyer is the best in the land, if you can demonstrate you have tried to provide reasonable contact, while being calm and mature in the face of unreasonable behaviour, the judge will see your ex in the light of day

Hope this helps

Chipping in is fine on open forums but we try here to stick with the law as it applies to a OP. And what your suggesting may be completely illegal. Recording someone without their knowlage isn't legal in many states and countries. And if it is then its useless in court. Please be more careful when answering questions because it can throw everything off track and get an OP into deep trouble.

phlanx · Oct 11, 2009, 05:47 AM

Recording a conversation for your own protection is never illegal. EVER!

To be able to demonstrate that a person is lying in court the recordings can be used!

cdad · Oct 11, 2009, 07:17 AM

Originally Posted by phlanx

Recording a conversation for your own protection is never illegal. EVER!

To be able to demonstrate that a person is lying in court the recordings can be used!

Please quote the law that allows that because its not allowed in many places no matter what. Can you post a link that says its legal to do so everywhere ?

phlanx · Oct 11, 2009, 07:34 AM

I think you are totally missing the point here. Why don't you show me the law that denies you the right to record your half of the converstaion taken in your own home!

In addition to that, if you request to tape a converstaion prior to having the said conversation, with both parties agreeing the conversation is recorded - still legal

As regards, your satatement califdadof3, have you ever called a call centre?

Phlanx

cdad · Oct 11, 2009, 07:36 AM

Originally Posted by phlanx

I think you are totally missing the point here. Why dont you show me the law that denies you the right to record your half of the converstaion taken in your own home!

In addition to that, if you request to tape a converstaion prior to having the said conversation, with both parties agreeing the conversation is recorded - still legal

As regards, your satatement califdadof3, have you ever called a call centre?

Phlanx

Sure. Here is a link worth your reading.

Reference:

COVERTLY RECORDING TELEPHONE CONVERSATIONS

cdad · Oct 11, 2009, 07:37 AM

Originally Posted by phlanx

I think you are totally missing the point here. Why dont you show me the law that denies you the right to record your half of the converstaion taken in your own home!

In addition to that, if you request to tape a converstaion prior to having the said conversation, with both parties agreeing the conversation is recorded - still legal

As regards, your satatement califdadof3, have you ever called a call centre?

Phlanx

All of the call centers I have called tell you in the beginning that they are recording you for quality control purposes and its your right to either continue or hang up.

phlanx · Oct 11, 2009, 07:38 AM

"There are a couple of exceptions. In the state of California, one party consent can be applied only under circumstances in which one party is involved in criminal activity which would include extortion or blackmail."

Point made

phlanx · Oct 11, 2009, 07:40 AM

There is nowhere on my posts here did I say convertly record the conversations!

Why haven't you offered advice to the lady who thinks she has no hope and offer some encouragement in a difficult time!

Talk about the Land of the Free and the Brave!!