[talaniman]

You had an awkward situation, and its been handled, ( his advance for something you didn't want, or was unprepared for) so don't read a lot into it, as it could just be an impulsive action on his part.

These are the things you take note of, but don't dwell on them without facts to go along with the action. That has to come from him, so let it go, and don't push, just keep going about your own business, and growing, and learning at your own pace.

Yes its curious, as will many things that catch you off guard. But sometimes answers come later, and not now, when we want them. Just don't assume, and make this incident more than what it is.

[Perplexed_me]

So finally he called, I behaved as I would otherwise... Seems like it'll be fine.

Yes I like him, and that is why I did not over-react, but I like him only as a friend. Don't want to spoil a friendship for something which could be so momentary.

:)

[I wish]

Yes I like him, and that is why I did not over-react, but I like him only as a fren. Don't want to spoil a frenship for something which could be so momentary.

If that's how you feel about him, then you better let him know, so that you don't lead him on and give him false hope.

[Perplexed_me]

I can't tell anything he doesn't want to know... he has to ask me to know that. Rest I believe the way I respond to him should make it clear.

Is'nt it?

[I wish]

He already tried to kiss you. Or he actually did kiss you. That's a pretty clear sign that he's interested in you as more than a friend. I know you might want him to be more unfront and direct about his feelings, but that's just another way of expressing his feeligns. There's an elephant in the room already.

Because of the way you responded to his kiss, he's going to feel reluctuant and shy to bring that up. The ball is actually on your court, because in a way, he's waiting for a definite answer from you.

[Perplexed_me]

Ok! Now let me actually share how I felt. I'm an independence freak because of which (this is how I generally feel I get treated by most men), men want to tame me. That's how I felt that day, It wasn't a very delicate, romantic situation... more of a forceful one... I don't think I can do anything else to make him comfortable, I have done my part by being nice enough and talking to him nicely still.

From what I know of relationships, if a guy is really serious, he would be gentle... I think it was totally momentary and I guess what Talaniman suggests is right. Besides, If at all he likes me, then he should know that he'll have to be man enough to say it to me, straight on my face and considering that he's a friend, he has the advantage of saying anything without feeling that I'll over-react and hurt him.

[talaniman]

Why not be upfront, and honest, and just tell him its friends only?

[I wish]

You say you're an "independance freak," yet you expect the guy to be "man enough" to say it straight to your face?

So which is it?

[Perplexed_me]

Yes I do. If I felt like that I would have said it long time back... without hesitation. He has to be sure and he has to say it 'cause that's what he feels (if at all), not I.

Why not be upfront, and honest, and just tell him its friends only??

Well! That should be clear with the way I respond to everything, if at all there is a doubt, he should raise it... should'nt he?

[talaniman]

LOL, if he isn't confident enough to speak his mind, I guess you have a point.

[Perplexed_me]

LOL, if he isn't confident enough to speak his mind, I guess you have a point.

Hmm...

When will men learn that open conversations help more than force?!

[I wish]

Hmm...

When will men learn that open conversations help more than force?!!!

That's a huge generalization. You just haven't met the right men.

[Cat1864]

I have never been in a relationship, but I still understand certain things... at least I think so.

Interesting! I sometimes I feel, maybe I really am incapable of love, maybe I never will fall in love with anyone. But then at the end of the day I also know that there will be one person who will be the single most important thing in my life. My Mr. Perfect will be the person who understands me and knows my silence more than my words.

Maybe I really have read a lot of romances or seen too many movies, but somehow there is this feeling that I will meet him someday and till that day, I keep everything that is special only for him. A certain expression on my face, that only he must see nobody else should.

From what I know of relationships, if a guy is really serious, he would be gentle...

How realistic are your views of relationships? Movies, books, music, etc. are fun to watch but very dangerous to get your view of what's right or wrong in a relationship from.

To me, you are playing games waiting for "Mr. Perfect". If you want a relationship, you have to work to get and keep one. I think you like the pursuit (trying to tame me) and the awkwardness of the almost kiss.

This pretty much sums it up:

I enjoy the romance in waiting... I believe someday I'll meet him...

[Perplexed_me]

That's a huge generalization. You just haven't met the right men.

Guess you are right, I have'nt.

[Perplexed_me]

Cat, I'm a much simpler person, really.

I don't really play games, I believe you think I provoke men, No! I don't. When I said that they want to tame me, it was because this is not the first time somebody tried this, and it was again as if it meant I'll take you and you will not be able to do anything about it, I'm the man here and I'm going to prove it!

That's just plain unfair. I carry a carefree and strong exterior, but that is most of the time a defence mechanism, I don't want people to think that they can take me for a ride.

As regards getting into a relationship is concerned... Well definitely not until I find theright person. Mybe it is very bookish or inspired by films, but that's how I am, if I have waited for 27 years, it can't be just a fluke, I can be fooling people but can I fool myself? There is romance in imagining how life would be when I find my guy... not in just waiting alone, for nothing... I really believe that.

[Cat1864]

I believe you think I provoke men...

...As regards getting into a relationship is concerned... Well definitely not untill I find theright person. Mybe it is very bookish or inspired by films, but thats how I am, if I have waited for 27 years, it can't be just a fluke, I can be fooling people but can I fool myself? There is romance in imagining how life would be when I find my guy... not in just waiting alone, for nothing... I really believe that.

I don't think you "provoke" their actions. I think on some level that is what you are expecting from them. It goes back to romance novels and movies. It's a very common plot device, that doesn't work in reality.

Yes, you can fool yourself. There are lots of people on this board alone who seem to be adept at fooling themselves

What is your definition of relationship?

[Perplexed_me]

Well! Two people, who feel complete in themselves but when they are in each other's company they see their true self, they know each other well on an intellectual plane, decide to get together because they feel that the companionship brings beauty to their completeness. They are neither completely same nor different but they compliment each other in every single way.

[Cat1864]

Well! two ppl, who feel complete in themselves but when they are in each other's company they see their true self, they know each other well on an intellectual plane, decide to get together because they feel that the companionship brings beauty to their completeness. They are neither completely same nor different but they compliment each other in every single way.

How do you find that other person?

[Perplexed_me]

No idea! :( but hit and trial is certainly no option.