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    Andrew1987's Avatar
    Andrew1987 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #21

    Sep 15, 2009, 09:45 AM

    Until you've been in the situation and it seems like things will change,you don't know. I understand that I shouldn't have done it. It was more her decision than mine. She broke up with him after. She chose to hang out with me and be with me. It was her choice. We'd been lovey dovey for 3 or 4 months before we even kissed. I know it was wrong. Its something I'll live with for my whole life. It's something she'll live with too. I was wrong but when you're there, you know what you want and I wanted to be with her. I love that girl with all I have. It's just the way I went because I thought it opened a door... and it did... for a while.
    paxe's Avatar
    paxe Posts: 793, Reputation: 158
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    #22

    Sep 15, 2009, 12:01 PM
    Well there is nothing too much to do, except learn and take it as a break up. You know there is plenty of girls out there and it's pretty easy to get one. And no she isn't special and you haven't found the right one yet that's all. You need to stop all contacts and heal already. Easier said then done, yeah but I've been there and it's feasible. She wants to be alone, let her be. Beside she cheated on her boyfriend, why wouldn't she cheat on you?
    Andrew1987's Avatar
    Andrew1987 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #23

    Sep 15, 2009, 12:54 PM

    She's tried to call me 5 times today. I just am not picking up.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #24

    Sep 15, 2009, 12:57 PM

    That's the best thing .No contact.
    crisluvsu731's Avatar
    crisluvsu731 Posts: 150, Reputation: 6
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    #25

    Sep 15, 2009, 01:07 PM

    How old are you guys?
    Andrew1987's Avatar
    Andrew1987 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #26

    Sep 15, 2009, 03:29 PM

    Early 20's
    spoilsport's Avatar
    spoilsport Posts: 50, Reputation: 2
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    #27

    Sep 16, 2009, 01:08 AM
    Andrew, if she has a boyfriend.. she should call him! You shouldn't be in the picture.. it doesn't feel right!

    How is college? Don't let all this come in the way of your college and studies. . focus on it.. time will heal everything.
    Andrew1987's Avatar
    Andrew1987 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #28

    Sep 17, 2009, 04:24 AM

    She's called about 10 times the past two days
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #29

    Sep 17, 2009, 04:29 AM

    Is that called as in you didn't pick up and speak to her?
    Andrew1987's Avatar
    Andrew1987 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #30

    Sep 17, 2009, 09:46 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    Is that called as in you didnt pick up and speak to her?
    Correct
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #31

    Sep 17, 2009, 10:03 AM

    Its so hard to break that kind of intense attachment, we all know how hard it is. Keep ignoring all her efforts to contact you, so you can get out of her charms, just so you see how wrong it was for her to cheat and throw you away like that. Intense feelings are not love, (not healthy love, anyway) cheating isn't love, and other peoples opinions are not relevant either.

    What is relevant, is you seeing the reality of this fling, and judge her actions as the real facts, not the feelings you have.

    You were seduced, and used for her own needs, and she cares for neither of you, just herself, and has led you down a wrong miserable path.

    That's the facts, so keep her out of your life so she can't hurt you again, and you can heal from what she has done to you.

    This isn't love, it manipulation, and being selfish, and dishonest.

    Don't be a part of it, at all. Don't ever let someone treat you this way again, never.
    rivermeetsanend's Avatar
    rivermeetsanend Posts: 13, Reputation: 3
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    #32

    Sep 18, 2009, 01:22 PM

    Wow, what a game player this chick is. She obviously doesn't know her boundaries. I would be careful with this one. And if you are moving away, what's the point of even pursuing anything? Especially considering she has a boyfriend... I would leave it alone. She needs to break-up with her boyfriend first before any relationship can progress.
    Andrew1987's Avatar
    Andrew1987 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #33

    Mar 21, 2010, 08:25 PM

    Here's the update... she left me for him, I moved home, she tried to be best friends again... I still had major feelings and it was continually brought it up until she decided to push me away. Then it gradually deteriorated into her no longer talking to me at all and completely cutting me out of her life.

    I miss our friendship we had before we ever crossed the line and I'd give a lot to have that back but I don't see her anymore anywhere.

    I want to fix our friendship but I don't know how.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #34

    Mar 21, 2010, 11:28 PM

    Leave things as they are,if your friendship gets back on track further down the line,so be it-for now live your own life and leave her to live hers.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #35

    Mar 22, 2010, 05:21 AM

    Get new friends, and don't seek romance with them.

    If you could fix the relationship, you sure as heel can't fix the friendship.

    Once you blur the line between friends, and romance, the friendship suffers, as there is too much history, and emotions left to deal with.
    Andrew1987's Avatar
    Andrew1987 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #36

    Mar 23, 2010, 07:35 AM

    I know you guys are right... I think I still need to confront her though
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #37

    Mar 23, 2010, 08:43 AM

    Confront her for what? Dumping you? For not being able to be friends the way you want it? For having another life, and love without you? To vent your anger and disappointments? To tell her how much you're hurting without her?

    Tell me what you want to confront her with?
    paxe's Avatar
    paxe Posts: 793, Reputation: 158
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    #38

    Mar 23, 2010, 12:42 PM

    It's been a while since I've been here, but NC is the only thing you should apply right now. We know you're hurt (that's why we were here initially) and we all agreed that NC is the only thing that works in this situation. Let her be and take care of yourself because you really need it. Start working out, start going out, work harder, achieve new goals. The fun thing about life is that you can make it whatever you want it to be.

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