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    michaeltrue's Avatar
    michaeltrue Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 1, 2009, 07:25 PM
    Does this prove infidelity
    I have found daily emails between my husband and another woman. In the emails he says that he loves her and wants to be with her. He refers to her as his love and that he thinks of her all day. Does this type of email exchange prove infidelity?
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #2

    Sep 1, 2009, 07:29 PM
    To PrOVE infidelity you would have to catch them in bed together. What you have simply means that they MAY be having an emotional relationship.

    Have you brought this to the attention of your husband?
    asking's Avatar
    asking Posts: 2,673, Reputation: 660
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    #3

    Sep 1, 2009, 07:33 PM

    I think it proves an emotional relationship and unless she lives a thousand miles away, I personally would assume they had slept together. Of course, emails are not "proof" in the legal sense.

    What do you want to do about it?
    rankrank55's Avatar
    rankrank55 Posts: 1,259, Reputation: 177
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    #4

    Sep 1, 2009, 07:33 PM

    This will probably depend on what state you live in. I would contact a local Family Law Attorney.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #5

    Sep 1, 2009, 07:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by rankrank55 View Post
    This will probably depend on what state you live in. I would contact a local Family Law Attorney.
    But does she want a divorce? This could really blow up in her face if not handled correctly.
    michaeltrue's Avatar
    michaeltrue Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Sep 1, 2009, 07:36 PM
    He is unaware as is she that I have this information. They exchange these "love letters" a quote from him several times a day.

    At what point is there enough email details that would convince a judge that he has been doing this?
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #7

    Sep 1, 2009, 07:38 PM
    The first question is... Do you want a divorce?
    michaeltrue's Avatar
    michaeltrue Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Sep 1, 2009, 07:39 PM
    At this point, I would say yes
    rankrank55's Avatar
    rankrank55 Posts: 1,259, Reputation: 177
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    #9

    Sep 1, 2009, 07:39 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    But does she want a divorce? This could really blow up in her face if not handled correctly.
    Very true! Probably best to take a step back for a while, observe, and then address the hubs.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #10

    Sep 1, 2009, 07:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by michaeltrue View Post
    at this point, I would say yes
    If you want a divorce, file for one. You don't necessarily need this info to be granted a divorce these days.
    aboleth's Avatar
    aboleth Posts: 60, Reputation: 8
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    #11

    Sep 5, 2009, 03:01 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by michaeltrue View Post
    I have found daily emails between my husband and another woman. In the emails he says that he loves her and wants to be with her. He refers to her as his love and that he thinks of her all day. Does this type of email exchange prove infidelity?
    Well, it would depend in your definition of infidelity. To me, yes - it is. Even if there is no sex involved, they are cheating on you at an emotional level. And that can hurt just as bad as sexual infidelity. Most likely it is a sexual relationship, but honestly, it doesn't really matter. This person is cheating on you.
    stevetcg's Avatar
    stevetcg Posts: 3,693, Reputation: 353
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    #12

    Sep 5, 2009, 05:07 PM

    If you want a divorce, infidelity does not have to be proven. You simply divorce him. You don't need a reason other than irreconcilable differences.

    If it helps you get there, then yes, I would say it proves it. A court couldn't care less where he is sticking it.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #13

    Sep 5, 2009, 07:49 PM

    Tell him you are saving him the trouble of being with you and wanting someone else and so you will be filing for divorce.
    You don't need any proof of anything.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #14

    Sep 6, 2009, 10:16 AM

    Take those emails to a lawyer and get the ball rolling.
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
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    #15

    Sep 6, 2009, 10:56 AM
    It doesn't prove that they've been sleeping together, at least not legally. It certainly indicates that he's been unfaithful in spirit if not literally. Your marriage is in serious trouble. Have you confronted him with any of this? Have you talked about your problems?
    cadillac59's Avatar
    cadillac59 Posts: 1,326, Reputation: 94
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    #16

    Sep 6, 2009, 11:09 AM

    It would be a good idea to indicate where you live because, as stevetcg said, most US jurisdictions have no fault divorce, which essentially makes infidelity irrelevant. The point is in most of the US the judge will not listen to your claim of infidelity and will not accept evidence on it. Hence, you are wasting your time thinking about it as part of a divorce (not to say it has no relevance to your emotional well-being and not to diminish any hurt feelings you might have).

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