[dipti jain]

You send your daughter to her grandparent, Right?

You told she will get back when she will learn to behave, right?

You also told that your mother undermine you and support her, correct?

Now will you please tell me, How is she going to learn to behave well, after living with the person supporting her?

Instead she won, because she no need to follow you rules anymore or tolerate or bear you any more in her language.

She got what she wanted and you lost by a 15 year old girl.

[what 2 do]

She will be returning home on Friday morning. There was no undermining, just a brief hiatus and decompression of temprements. Rules and requirements for returning home have been put in placed and agreed upon. Therapy will be researched a bit further and we will take it from there.

My mother was placed in a position she would have preferred not to be in. However; we have communicated on the progress of the stay and I don't feel based on what I have heard there was any degree of undermining.

[Sooo Confused]

I think a good old fashioned OTK spanking is what she needs...

[what 2 do]

Been there done that.

[ohsohappy]

"Dhayan" is the best act of Yoga.

I don't know what you say it in English but, it is actually sitting silently and concentrating your energy, thoughts and soul in between eyebrows, It is asumed in Indian vedas that soul resides there.

You will feel light hearted. And i am sure you will find a way to come out of your problem.

I think what you are referring to, we call meditation. I could be wrong.

[what 2 do]

They call it in Yoga the 3rd eye. I will need to sit for a long long time.

[ohsohappy]

Hahah that's a silly name for it. :) Anyway, I should try that too. It sounds very relaxing. :) the only issue would be finding uninterrupted time. My younger brother likes to burst into my room at random times to annoy me. I need to get a lock on my door. Haha

[what 2 do]

I need a lock to... or a separate home. I am going to my Yoga class tonight and really can't wait. I missed last week due to an injury.

AHHH Solace and Serenity.

[what 2 do]

I think a good old fashioned OTK spanking is what she needs....

My daughter by the way weighs twice what I weigh + anger...

[ohsohappy]

You must be a very small woman.

[dipti jain]

They call it in Yoga the 3rd eye. i will need to sit for a long long time.

Well, it won't take long time, for me it worked just with 15 minutes in a day, anytime, anywhere, when you are in a mood to relax. But there must me something you should concentrate at. That can be name of the God.

Repeat in you mind again and again without whispering, I mean say only in mind.

The best time to do it for you people is before going to bed.

If you will do it before going to bed, then within few day you get used to of it and the result will reflect in your sleep, means fulfilling sleep in less hours. I need just 6 hrs a day and fell fresh the day round.

I live in a joint family, my husband's grandmother, father, mother, His brother in law's family of 4 members and my family. Although I am a well qualified professional who cleared India' s one of the toughest exams in Finance, at the young age but still a housewife to take care of my family. It is a typical Indian Joint family as you watch in TV.

So you can guess how much tension, I have to face everyday. One can not just walk away saying what do you know about it. Instead you have to face because everybody faces so. Think you only have your daughter to tackle with. I quit my lavish career just for my family's sake still facing problems everyday.

So just don't get frustrated but face it with intelligence and patience.

[artlady]

It is great that you have found a way to relax.

That ,however is not going to change your daughters attitude.

You may be better able to cope but the bottom line is you can't make a difference by going into a state of peace.

You need to be pro active and address the issues that will inevitably be there.

[dipti jain]

Hahah that's a silly name for it. :) Anyway, I should try that too. it sounds very relaxing. :) the only issue would be finding uninterrupted time. My younger brother likes to burst into my room at random times to annoy me. I need to get a lock on my door. haha

This is the charm of meditation. Let anybody do anything by your side but you should concentrate on your work. Initially you need silence but in few days you can do it anywhere. Even in crowd.

Did ever happen to you, that someone is saying something and you overheard it, because you concentration is diverted to something else. The same is here.

[dipti jain]

It is great that you have found a way to relax.

That ,however is not going to change your daughters attitude.

You are correct.

But getting the way out of it can be given by a peaceful mind only.

And not by a frustrated angry mind. Instead it will make the things worse

Its an old saying, " just calm down and think".

[what 2 do]

Indeed in comparison to others

[amexpo]

Daughter is hurting you by hurting herself.
Why?
Did you remove her from dad and fer friends. This is often a case.
She needs her dad.. . or grandpa, other family member.

[ohsohappy]

daughter is hurting you by hurting herself.
Why?
Did you remove her from dad and fer friends. This is often a case.
She needs her dad. ...or grandpa, other family member.

If you had read the posts before, You'd know that those options aren't available.

[amexpo]

If you had read the posts before, You'd know that those options aren't available.

You have to look somewhere else for help.
I can't find earlier posts.
My daughter wasted 8 years trying to recover after she hurt herself to make her mom suffer.

Her mom removed her 17 years ago from one place with some discipline and authority.
It was to prove that they love each other the most.
She is divorced now, and she won't have good marriage for the next few years.
There is a hope...

[ohsohappy]

You have to look somewhere else for help.
I can't find earlier posts.
My daughter wasted 8 years trying to recover after she hurt herself to make her mom suffer.

Her mom removed her 17 years ago from one place with some discipline and authority.
It was to prove that they love each other the most.
She is divorced now, and she won't have good marriage for the next few years.
There is a hope...

I was talking about her father not being able to be in the picture, he wasn't "removed" On the second page of this thread, What2do said "Always - I have been a single parent all of my daughter's life - my husband passed when she was very young." And also stated that they had almost no family because most of them are diseased


So as far as a father or grandfather being in the picture, those options are not ones either of them has.
Her daughter only as mom and grandma, basically.

[amexpo]

I started thinking what's wrong with me [not with her].
Mom and grandma are not enough for 12-18 year old girl.
Do you want her to have happy family life with husband and kids under one roof?
I didn't help her immediately, but my approach changed environment and slowly things turned around.
I didn't do anything different, just let them know my thoughts.

Ask yourself if you ever would allow her father to be closer to her [on father's terms, not yours]?
It's the first step. Would you lose the face? Is it going to indicate your fault, or whatever?
You have your daughter's future in your hands [probably] and it's only few months left to change.

Friend of my destroyed kids future to prove that they did not want their father.
She manipulated kids and him and now she blames everything on him, of course.
He was bad, because he didn't do what "was best for kids".
She is lying to herself to feel better, but deeply in her heart she knows it's 50% of the truth.
I see it as her revenge, she wanted to punish her husband.
It was a big success, where kids were the tools in her hands [and victims].