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    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #21

    Aug 14, 2009, 07:49 AM

    Break up with him face to face. Do it in a public place if you feel uncomfortable. At least have the heart to do it in person and not through text or online... that is childish.

    I am curious as to what he means by "stupid"? Do you think he meant physically harm you or harm himself?
    armygirlfriend8's Avatar
    armygirlfriend8 Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #22

    Aug 14, 2009, 12:33 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by kctiger View Post
    Break up with him face to face. Do it in a public place if you feel uncomfortable. At least have the heart to do it in person and not through text or online...that is childish.

    I am curious as to what he means by "stupid"? Do you think he meant physically harm you or harm himself?
    I really don't know. That's what got me confused.. but I have 3 children and he has 2 children also. That's y I really don't know what to do.. but I do want to break up with him because I know that he is cheating on me..
    justcurious55's Avatar
    justcurious55 Posts: 4,360, Reputation: 790
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    #23

    Aug 14, 2009, 12:44 PM
    Is telling him in person an option right now? Or is he still in a different state or country? If you can't do it in person, I'd do it over the phone. And if you're worried about him hurting himself, is there someone close to him that you can call to keep an eye on him?
    Curlyben's Avatar
    Curlyben Posts: 18,514, Reputation: 1860
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    #24

    Aug 14, 2009, 01:25 PM
    >Threads Merged<
    HelpinHere's Avatar
    HelpinHere Posts: 1,062, Reputation: 144
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    #25

    Aug 14, 2009, 02:06 PM

    Thanks Ben.

    Normally I would agree kc.
    However, this relationship is emotionally hurting the OP, and she cannot afford to wait until October to see him and break up in person.

    I say, just send him a message. Tell him that you're leaving him. You can then either say "Don't even try to contact me again until you stop being a jerk and can be a mature friend." (I recommend this, as there may be a reason to contact him) or "When you get out of active duty, and get yourself straightened out, then we'll talk." (Don't recommend, but it's another possibility)

    Or something of the sort. However, others may have other suggestions.
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #26

    Aug 14, 2009, 06:55 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by armygirlfriend8 View Post
    ok i told to my boyfriend this morning and he acts like nothing has happen. but i have posted whats been going on but my question is should i break up with online or wait till he gets home?? i just dont want him do anything stupid bc he has threaten me if i broke up with he would do something stupid. but i know its time to end this relationship:confused::confused:
    Threatening to do something stupid is emotional blackmail.Don't fall for it and don't allow it to sway your decision.
    Do what you need to do for you and your children and don't look back.
    Move forward!
    armygirlfriend8's Avatar
    armygirlfriend8 Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #27

    Aug 14, 2009, 09:16 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by justcurious55 View Post
    is telling him in person an option right now? or is he still in a different state or country? if you can't do it in person, i'd do it over the phone. and if you're worried about him hurting himself, is there someone close to him that you can call to keep an eye on him?
    He is deployed right now he is iraq..
    justcurious55's Avatar
    justcurious55 Posts: 4,360, Reputation: 790
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    #28

    Aug 15, 2009, 12:04 AM

    Well that seems to kill telling him in person. No sense in dragging the relationship on. If you can, I'd call him. Otherwise send him an email or even a handwritten letter telling him its over. You can say something about you hoping he doesn't follow through with his threat to do something stupid. But like artlady said, his threat is emotional blackmail and should not be allowed to sway your decision.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #29

    Aug 15, 2009, 12:33 AM
    I agree that ideally, if you could tell him in person, that would be the way to go.

    But, seeing that he is in Iraq, send him a letter, or an email. I don't see where you owe him anything more than that. He is still married, after all.

    With five children between the two of you in the mix, somebody has to take control here and end this relationship that isn't going anywhere.

    You can do much better than a married man with two children, who lies and cheats.

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