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AKeagle · Aug 1, 2009, 03:29 PM

So I just got done having lunch with my cousin, while I wait for work to be completed on my car. I don't know what it is about me, but I have this bad habit of flirting with hostess. She was really cute, charming, and engaging. I walked out side for a phone call, and when I came back in she was just standing there, so I spent 5 minutes flirting with her, when customers would come in and she had to take of them, she would smile and say, " give me a minute I'll be right back" then would come back and pick up were we left off.

I finally went and sat back down with my cousin, and she kept glancing over at me while she was working. Also any time she would walk by, would smile and make a comment about what we were talking about earlier. I never asked for her number, but I am a little cocky, so I left her mine. :) while she was flirting with me, after my cousin walked away. Guess we'll see what happens

paxe · Aug 1, 2009, 09:20 PM

Ah! You have more balls than most guys I know (me included) and you're taking this NC in a good way. How the hell are you getting this confidence of yourself?

AKeagle · Aug 2, 2009, 06:03 AM

Question for the girls of the forum

If a guy is flirting with you for awhile are you disapointed if they do not ask for your number? How do you feel about a guy gives you his number?

I think by giving a girl a number, shows that your interested in them, but your not putting them on the spot with trying to get their number. Kind of switches things up, and puts less pressure on them

What does everyone thing?

AKeagle · Aug 2, 2009, 06:09 AM

Originally Posted by sully123

Akeagle, sounds like your heading in the right direction. She has moved on, and is seeing someone else. Nothing right now you can do about it to change things. Usually rebound relationships never work, very rarely. Give her the space she wants, and if its meant to be she will be in contact with you.. Work on yourself now and your anger issues. Good luck.

Sully,

Some of my anger issues came fom my depression from what happened to me in the past. Though the more I look at how I am acting now ( very laid back, calm, collected, confident, and charming) it was her putting the stress on me. She would come home and complain about how the roommates were dirty or what not. I saw it upset her, so always tried to fix it, when I couldn't I would get upset. Anything someone made her feel bad, I would jump into protect mode, and do everything I could to make sure she would be OK, which caused mre stress on me.

Not anymore, I'm back to who I liked to be ( for the more part, but with a HEALING heart)

talaniman · Aug 2, 2009, 08:23 AM

Originally Posted by AKeagle

Question for the girls of the forum

If a guy is flirting with you for awhile are you disappointed if they do not ask for your number? How do you feel about a guy give you his number?

I think by giving a girl a number, shows that your interested in them, but your not putting them on the spot with trying to get their number. Kind of switches things up, and puts less pressure on them

What does everyone thing?

Just me, and speaking as a guy, I have never been in the habit of giving my phone number out. But after knowing a female a while then things change, and if you see she is interested by calling her, then we progress, to where ever it leads.

Trust me asking for a females number is a time honored method, and gives her the option of letting a guy into her world slowly, and at her pace. Most females deal with this very well, and there is no pressure on them. But be cautious on giving a female YOUR number, because as I said, until you know them better, there is no telling what they are about. Cute and friendly, and HOT, is not an indication of character, and integrity. Unfortunately.

Talaniman Rule- Date them all, short, fat, skinny, or tall. Blind, cripple, or crazy. You'll learn a lot, and have a great time.

You also will not be so quick to get carried away with your own feelings, or be blinded by attraction, or LUST, as easily. You also keep your options, and opportunities open, until your ready to make a decision, based on facts, and not just feelings, that your comfortable with.

We oft times meet people, and fall to deeply because of the intense feelings, and are not paying close enough attention to the things we learn about them over time. In going slow with eyes open, as well as mind, its easier to be objective and realistic, and not just emotional.

I'm back to who I liked to be ( for the more part, but with a HEALING heart)

That's a good way to be AK, which is why your moving down the road, instead of being stuck.

AKeagle · Aug 2, 2009, 12:28 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Just me, and speaking as a guy, I have never been in the habit of giving my phone number out. But after knowing a female a while then things change, and if you see she is interested by calling her, then we progress, to where ever it leads.

Trust me asking for a females number is a time honored method, and gives her the option of letting a guy into her world slowly, and at her pace. Most females deal with this very well, and there is no pressure on them. But be cautious on giving a female YOUR number, because as I said, until you know them better, there is no telling what they are about. Cute and friendly, and HOT, is not an indication of character, and integrity.

See I looked at it, that if I give her my number then she can let me in at her pace still. I have done that with more than one female, and it's wroked out pretty well. Haven't heard from her yet, but really wasn't expecting it this soon. This way she has no pressure and isn't waiting around for me to call her.

You suggest getting their number instead?

Sorry for the poor spelling earlier, I have been using my phone for posting

talaniman · Aug 2, 2009, 01:10 PM

I guess it's a matter of style, and what works best for you.

AKeagle · Aug 2, 2009, 04:00 PM

So still no females have answered the question. Do you prefer a guy asking for your number, or him giving you his?

nikosmom · Aug 2, 2009, 04:31 PM

Originally Posted by AKeagle

So still no females have answered the question. Do you prefer a guy asking for your number, or him giving you his?

I prefer him asking for mine. If I am interested, I will give it to him - and expect him to call me. I like a man to take the lead. If I'm not interested I won't give him my number; simple as that and then there's no game playing.

AKeagle · Aug 2, 2009, 04:43 PM

Originally Posted by nikosmom

I prefer him asking for mine. If I am interested, I will give it to him - and expect him to call me. I like a man to take the lead. If I'm not interested I won't give him my number; simple as that and then there's no game playing.

Are you upset if he flirts and all with you, and doesn't ask for your number?

nikosmom · Aug 2, 2009, 04:50 PM

Originally Posted by AKeagle

Are you upset if he flirts and all with you, and doesn't ask for your number?

I don't think I'd say 'upset'... maybe disappointed. But then again, it lets me know he wasn't really interested in getting to know me past that initial conversation. Maybe he's not looking for more and a simple, flirtatious conversation was all he needed at that moment.

AKeagle · Aug 2, 2009, 05:12 PM

Originally Posted by nikosmom

I don't think I'd say 'upset'... maybe disappointed. But then again, it lets me know he wasn't really interested in getting to know me past that initial conversation. Maybe he's not looking for more and a simple, flirtatious conversation was all he needed at that moment.

Well now I don't want to be that guy. I have lots of openning to ask girls for their numbers, but I don't know.

nikosmom · Aug 2, 2009, 05:19 PM

I don't consider myself shy. I can strike up a conversation with almost anyone and find a common ground. I've made the first move before -asked for his number, or was the first one to call - but typically those relationship went no further.

I've felt better about things knowing he'd made the first move instead of being lazy waiting on me.

AKeagle · Aug 3, 2009, 03:56 AM

Originally Posted by nikosmom

I don't consider myself shy. I can strike up a conversation with almost anyone and find a common ground. I've made the first move before -asked for his number, or was the first one to call - but typically those relationship went no further.

I've felt better about things knowing he'd made the first move instead of being lazy waiting on me.

Well I would never say that I'm lazy. But also I have given my number to my last two relationships, one lasted 6-8 months, the other 4 an q half years (current ex).

I also have no problem striking up a conversation with anyone. I went out last night with some friends, an they were all to shy to talk to her. Soi started to flirt with her, next thing you know had been standing the for 30 minutes talking about places she had been, and concerts that she liked.

Idk, I guess I'll start asking girls for the numbers. I have had a couple times where the girls seems to be waiting for just that, but I don't want to come on too strong

nikosmom · Aug 3, 2009, 05:34 AM

Well I say do what you're doing - talk to them. Make them comfortable around you. If you seem to take an interest in getting to know them, they're going to give you their number so you can talk more.

Girls don't like guys that come on too strong because it comes off as "running game", lol. It's always fishy and makes us wonder just how many girls you're saying the same things to. Conversation comes across as sincere and they will be more open with you if you take the time to talk and listen.

AKeagle · Aug 4, 2009, 06:43 AM

Second thought update

Nothing has changed on the ex side. But I have re thought about what I did when I gave that girl my number. Here's the problem, I was in the town where my ex's family is (its a small town, and news and names travel fast), but I also think I know her from somewhere in my past about a year and some back, I believe I met her at some event I went to, with my ex. I believe they both know each other. On the bright side she hasn't called me, so that might be a good sign.

I am now seeing how important it is to stay busy. Last night was the first night in about 6 weeks where I wasn't doing anything. I just came home and took care of stuff around the house, cause I had fallen behind with being busy all the time. But just taking care of stuff around the house with no one else there, felt really lonely, and she came to mind a couple of times. Each time I felt like I was getting upset about the situation, I would go and lift for 10 minutes, after awhile it stopped happening and I went and read for awhile and feel asleep.

On a some what positive note. I would like to thank everyone here for the help I have received so far. It has taught me a lot, not just about this situation, but also about looking at others situations and helping them. Recently one of my close friends has been going through the break up roller coast with her 3 month boyfriend, and she has been coming to me for advice. So I have been listening to her, and giving her points of view that she is ignoring, and I hope that I have lead her down the right path, though it is all up to her on how she handles it

AKeagle · Aug 5, 2009, 09:54 AM

Bad news update

There have been problems with my car, so I made arrangements to take it in this morning at 8AM. The person that was taking care of my car, was one of the girls that I had talked to before. Her and I flirt every time she calls me or I come in to get work done on my car. Anyhow, she was talking to me and I happened to turn my head and there is my ex. She is far away and can't see me. (I'm not ready to be around her, by just how I reacted when I saw her) I was talking back to the girl helping me, and then I lost focus and said something, "oh crap" I said it quietly, she asked me what was wrong and I tried my best to shrug it off and stay off that topic.

My heart dropped after we had finished talking, and recollected myself right away. There is no possible way I am ready to even bump into her on accident. One of two things would happen, I would be messed up for the rest of the day/week, or assuming this guy is with her, something would get started. Neither of those do I want.

kctiger · Aug 5, 2009, 11:03 AM

Dude it happens. No worries. You handled it fine so just keep on keeping on. No harm no foul man! Happens to all of us at some time or another.

paxe · Aug 5, 2009, 11:29 AM

Yep, happened to me not so long ago, I bumped into my ex while she was with her new boyfriend... I was pretty shock up and wanted to beat the hell out of this guy... but I didn't. The thing is that the healing process is always constant, it doesn't really stop so you have to continue whatever you were doing before and it will pass by. Don't worry it's not as bad as you would think. Next time you'll see her it will hurt less and less until you absolutely don't care about her.

AKeagle · Aug 7, 2009, 10:34 PM

This sucks update

I was having such a good day too. I went to work, came home and lifted, then when out with a friend and her cousin. Came back to my place to hangout. And I get a call from my other friend, asking if I had checked FB, I said no. the she told me my ex is now engaged to this guy. (I'm not friends with my ex on facebook) I would have felt so much better if my friend had never told me, why in the hell did she have to tell me...

I have no idea how I'm going to be able to sleep tonight ( its 130am here)

When I found out the news I hung up on my friend and walked out the door. I walked for awhile till my friend that was at my house caught up to me. (she has been one of my closest friends) she didn't do anything to talk me down from the anger I am having, though its not that much, I'm just stressed. We talked for awhile till her cousin had to get home.

Why in the hell would a friend ever think that telling me that would help me? I was doing so good with everything also

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I don't not want to hear anyone tell me "now its time to heal", "its time for you to move on and get over her", "that she made the choice that was best for her" (yeah at my f ing expense), "she is a ......."(put whatever you want in there)(I already know, there is no way she just got with this guy)
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