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AKeagle · Jul 28, 2009, 05:28 PM

well its been over a week since my last post

everything seems to be doing great. Finally been able to get my head straight at work for the last week. Haven't had any contact, but haven't expected any either, nor have I been sitting around. Though I never plan anything, except work and lifting, I always seem to be getting into things, like going out last minute with a friend, randomly leaving town for the weekend and visit friends/family that live a couple states away. Also been helping out my family and grandparents as much a possible.

I did wake up one morning awhile back and smiled cause I realized I was single, get to go out when ever, stay out till whenever (as long as I still get up for work the next day), and I don't need to worry about working my things into someone else schedule.

the one thing I need help with though, which I think time is really the only thing. Is I keep having random dream with her in them. They don't happen all the time, just every once and awhile. They don't really affect me once I wake up, but I do sit there an ask myself, "why did i have that dream?"

Homegirl 50 · Jul 28, 2009, 07:17 PM

She is still in your heart and mind, it's normal. You will have them for a while.
You are doing great.

paxe · Jul 28, 2009, 10:16 PM

Yea, you're not alone in this. I am starting to have no dreams about her actually and I don't get worked out when I think or hear about her ( my ex ). You're doing great. Keep taking care of yourself. I think you are starting to realize the advantages of being single as I said before. You can even start long term plans for yourself ( moving somewhere else to get more life and work experience ).

AKeagle · Jul 30, 2009, 04:19 AM

anyone here ever had a feeling that something was going to happen? Good or bad, it just seemed that something was going on, and you're the only one not seeing it.

I have had 2 people contact me recently, one on FB as a friend request, lost since I have known her for 8 years, but never really were friends, plus her brother and I almost got into a fight at one point. But either way we were never friends

the second person is a old co worker of her's that I have met and we use to always go out with him and his girlfriend, but him and I have since lost contact after everything happened. Out of the blue sends me a message saying "hey whats up? what have you been up to?" I write back of course and say everything is going good, been busy though with work and traveling, and what not.(def, said too much of my business) but as the conversation goes on he asks me the question again like he is fishing for something. Anyhow he later talked to me about coming out to this bar that does happy hour, which I use to go to when we were together. But I told him yes and left it at that, but I don't think I'll end up going. It all just seems way to random. I'm not worried about something being started, but I want him to become the person that goes back and tells her what I'm up to, but at the same time I don't want to be a jerk to people, it would be nice to have other people to hang out with.

not really worried about what to do, just pretty much sit on it

Homegirl 50 · Jul 30, 2009, 09:45 AM

Don't even go there.
It could be random, but stop thinking that way. If she does not get in touch with you on her on, what good is that!

ginger casarez · Jul 30, 2009, 10:41 PM

This sounds like me and my husband to a "T" and let me tell you. Your heart is never wrong. Sometimes we get heartbreaks but, your heart is the one that tells you "this person is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with". I remember fights about marriage and anger issues, and the same responses too. I did break up with him once over everything. Then I treated him like crap, I was hurting and didn't know how to express it. When I saw how much he was hurting I realized he did love me we talked and got back together and that christmas I got engaged waited till he finished school and I planned our wedding and now here we are. We didn't communicate and which we are learning to do still as a couple and we have been together for 6yrs. She sounds like she is ready for a commitment, you may not want to take a step in yet if that is so then you need to let her go. For the anger my husband has anger that is explosive but is from holding things in sometimes or tking a bad day out on me, anger is always needs to managed because even if you don't get physical you might get scarry! She might be waiting for you to fight for her did you try stopping her when she picked up her clothes?

paxe · Jul 30, 2009, 10:47 PM

Originally Posted by ginger casarez

This sounds like me and my husband to a "T" and let me tell you. Your heart is never wrong. sometimes we get heartbreaks but, your heart is the one that tells you "this person is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with". I remember fights about marriage and anger issues, and the same responses too. I did break up with him once over everything. Then I treated him like crap, I was hurting and didn't know how to express it. When I saw how much he was hurting I realized he did love me we talked and got back together and that christmas I got engaged waited till he finished school and I planned our wedding and now here we are. We didn't communicate and which we are learning to do still as a couple and we have been together for 6yrs. She sounds like she is ready for a commitment, you may not want to take a step in yet if that is so then you need to let her go. For the anger my husband has anger that is explosive but is from holding things in sometimes or tking a bad day out on me, anger is always needs to managed because even if you don't get physical you might get scarry!! She might be waiting for you to fight for her did you try stopping her when she picked up her clothes?

I don't want to seem rude, but what are you talking about? Let me give you some rational explanations of what the "heart" is: The human brain is basically divided into three main parts, the reptilian, the mammal and the human brain. The mammal brain is where the "heart" is situated and it deals with emotions. The human brain is situated in the front cortex and this is the one we use to make rational and logical decisions, which it seems you are not using. If you want to get hurt all your life and not use your brain, then listen to your heart.

AKeagle · Jul 31, 2009, 07:45 AM

Originally Posted by ginger casarez

This sounds like me and my husband to a "T" and let me tell you. Your heart is never wrong. sometimes we get heartbreaks but, your heart is the one that tells you "this person is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with". I remember fights about marriage and anger issues, and the same responses too. I did break up with him once over everything. Then I treated him like crap, I was hurting and didn't know how to express it. When I saw how much he was hurting I realized he did love me we talked and got back together and that christmas I got engaged waited till he finished school and I planned our wedding and now here we are. We didn't communicate and which we are learning to do still as a couple and we have been together for 6yrs. She sounds like she is ready for a commitment, you may not want to take a step in yet if that is so then you need to let her go. For the anger my husband has anger that is explosive but is from holding things in sometimes or tking a bad day out on me, anger is always needs to managed because even if you don't get physical you might get scarry!! She might be waiting for you to fight for her did you try stopping her when she picked up her clothes?

I did try to stop her when she came to get her stuff, from day one till the day she got her last stuff, but it doesn't change the fact that she was with another guy SIX HOURS after leaving me. There are probably a lot of things I could do to show her I'm serious about being with her, but not with this other guy in the picture. And since I don't speak to her or go around where she is, or talk to any of her friends, I wouldn't even know what is going on with her.

I can't do anything else. But I'll be moving offices soon, and moving houses soon, and my boss says that he needs to get me a company phone, so as I progress in life, all ties to me are being cut, only one will remain (for a long time), which is she knows where my parents live, but I rarely go home.

As for my anger, everyone has it, and just like your husband, I do also hold stuff in, but that is my family back ground. But for the last 6 weeks my anger has been dropping like the stock market a couple months ago. I do not go a day without working out for at least an hour( which greatly reduces all the stress I have, and I feel a lot better doing that before going out for the night), and I have been accepting a lot more of a work load at work. Other than that, I am always moving.

So I don't know what you mean by she is waiting for me to fight for her... If that's is what she wants or wanted, she sure didn't show it, by getting her entire family to treat me like sh*t, or walking out with things that weren't hers and that she didn't want, but only wanted them to be able to hurt me. Or getting another guy right away, or going on vacation with the guy, or (the list can keep going, most of it is in the previous posts)

If you have an idea of how to fix this, I'm all eyes...

paxe · Jul 31, 2009, 08:00 AM

There's only one way to "fix" this and it is to continue what you were doing. Don't listen to her, it doesn't make any sense.

AKeagle · Jul 31, 2009, 08:12 AM

Originally Posted by paxe

There's only one way to "fix" this and it is to continue what you were doing. Don't listen to her, it doesn't make any sense.

Paxe,

I agree and disagree, there is always something more to be done.

I am choosing to do what I'm doing, cause; 1) its easier on my heart and the affect on my life, 2) I'm not willing at this point to fight for someone who treats me like crap, when yes I made mistakes, but I didn't deserve how things have been handled.

As for ginger's comment "she sounds like she's ready for a commitment" I don't know how that has been interpreted from how she has acted towards me

AKeagle · Jul 31, 2009, 02:46 PM

Well now I'm having a point of weakness, and want to get in contact with her. I have no idea what would happen or be said, but I don't know why I'm feeling this way, why now?

A friend of mine is going through a break up (3 months) and is acting like this is the end, I told her to calm down and let this calm down, and not to worry. She look at me and said "you know that if your ex came back with her bags packed and crying, cause she wanted to be with you or cause of something this guy did to her, you know you would try to get back at the guy"

I was shocked. I really didn't have a good answer to that. My first response was, "why would you think i would let her into my life that easily, after all she has done to me?" she never gave me a straight answer.

I don't want to be taking steps backwards, its just with being around all these people that are going through relationship problems and are always turning to me about them, just keeps stopping me in my tracks. Especially when I look at the small stuff they are going through and are acting as if life will never go on

talaniman · Jul 31, 2009, 02:52 PM

As for ginger's comment "she sounds like she's ready for a commitment" I don't know how that has been interpreted from how she has acted toward me

Sometimes people don't read the whole story and only respond to the original posting. Especially on the longer threads.

Well now I'm having a point of weakness, and want to get in contact with her. I have no idea what would happen or be said, but I don't know why I'm feeling this way, why now?

Like you said a moment of weakness, probably triggered by the talks with others having problems. If you have no good advice say so honestly and stick with your own NO CONTACT, and that weak moment will pass.

paxe · Jul 31, 2009, 10:20 PM

Originally Posted by AKeagle

Well now i'm having a point of weakness, and want to get in contact with her. I have no idea what would happen or be said, but idk why i'm feeling this way, why now?

a friend of mine is going thru a break up (3 months) and is acting like this is the end, i told her to calm down and let this calm down, and not to worry. she look at me and said "you know that if your ex came back with her bags packed and crying, cause she wanted to be with you or cause of something this guy did to her, you know you would try to get back at the guy"

i was shocked. I really didn't have a good answer to that. My first response was, "why would you think i would let her into my life that easily, after all she has done to me?" she never gave me a straight answer.

I don't want to be taking steps backwards, its just with being around all these people that are going thru relationship problems and are always turning to me about them, just keeps stopping me in my tracks. especially when i look at the small stuff they are going thru and are acting as if life will never go on

This moment of weakness is normal. We all pass trough it, hell I always have from time to time moment of weakness but it fades away as time pass by. This is the time to stick hard to NC. Your head knows that you shouldn't talk to her or even want her back for that matter. If you are feeling a moment of weakness do something else, do more sport, put the music loud, go out with friends, go and flirt a little with girls... but don't break your NC. Remember she is out of your life and it is for the best, and you said it yourself. If you want to see if life does go on after break up, go this thread it's mine:

http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relatio...up-381806.html

AKeagle · Aug 1, 2009, 08:39 AM

Originally Posted by paxe

This moment of weakness is normal. We all pass trough it, hell I always have from time to time moment of weakness but it fades away as time pass by. This is the time to stick hard to NC. Your head knows that you shouldn't talk to her or even want her back for that matter. If you are feeling a moment of weakness do something else, do more sport, put the music loud, go out with friends, go and flirt a little with girls... but don't break your NC. Remember she is out of your life and it is for the best, and you said it yourself. If you want to see if life does go on after break up, go this thread it's mine:

http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relatio...up-381806.html

Well last night was awesome, I ended up going into DC for a political thing, which was more like a bunch of people meeting up and having drinks. Shock part of the evening, I have been riding and competing in the equestrian field for about 13 years, and at the event last night I bumped into someone I hadn't seen in 9 years (wow has she grown up :D ) we talked for awhile and caught up on our pasts, it was great. There is another event this Wednesday, so I'm going to go to that in hopes to see her.

Its crazy though, since my ex left I can't stop bumping into people from my past, that I haven't seen in years

paxe · Aug 1, 2009, 09:56 AM

Well there you go. Next time ask for her phone number, it should be easy since you've known each other.

AKeagle · Aug 1, 2009, 10:11 AM

Originally Posted by paxe

Well there you go. Next time ask for her phone number, it should be easy since you've known each other.

Yeah I met this girl last night, that kept pushing me to go get this chicks that into me, my thing is I just love flirting with them. But I know I already had an in with this girl, I should have got the number. I think she was expecting me to try and get hers, cause after we went back to talking to our friends, she just kept making glances over at me. Oh well...

I doubt last night is that last I'll see of her

talaniman · Aug 1, 2009, 10:52 AM

You mean there are other females out there besides your ex?? Who would have thunk it!! :eek:

paxe · Aug 1, 2009, 12:45 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

You mean there are other females out there besides your ex??? Who would have thunk it!!!:eek:

It is funny, I also never figured that out!

AKeagle · Aug 1, 2009, 02:05 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

You mean there are other females out there besides your ex??? Who would have thunk it!!!:eek:

Lol, thanks.

I know there are other females out there, I'm just not one to pick up random woman. Though I think I'm starting to piss some of them off, cause I'll be at a place for over an hour flirting with them, and at then end I say, " it was great to meet all of you, have a good night. Hope to see you again" smile and leave.

Always have a chance at a number, but it's so much fun to just flirt. But I need to stop dissappointing appointing all these dolled up women, lol

sully123 · Aug 1, 2009, 02:58 PM

Akeagle, sounds like your heading in the right direction. She has moved on, and is seeing someone else. Nothing right now you can do about it to change things. Usually rebound relationships never work, very rarely. Give her the space she wants, and if its meant to be she will be in contact with you.. Work on yourself now and your anger issues. Good luck.