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AKeagle · Jun 22, 2009, 08:32 AM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I know that is how you feel but you don't want her calling you just because she has no where else to go either.
If she is stubborn enough to contact you after you have asked her not to, that is not a good sign on her point.

Why is it not a good sign on her point?

Homegirl 50 · Jun 22, 2009, 08:35 AM

Because she is not showing concern or respect for your feelings. She left you, so she should respect what you ask of her.

AKeagle · Jun 22, 2009, 08:39 AM

All I have been is walked over in that case. When she left, she took everything I gave her, and everything she gave me. I'm shocked I still have anything in my room. At her rate I was expecting ants and rug to keep me company for awhile.

Honestly who takes gifts back like chains, movies, bar stuff, and keeps every present I gave her?

Homegirl 50 · Jun 22, 2009, 08:46 AM

Then stop worrying about whether she would want to contact you.
Tell her not to contact you in the note you write and move on. I don't think she will though any way
Believe me, you will be much better off having done so.

Imabadman · Jun 22, 2009, 08:51 AM

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

It's good to know when you are posting to deaf ears.If you are only looking to hear what you want to hear, then why don't you tell us what you would like us to say...

I think I'm in love.

AKeagle · Jun 22, 2009, 08:53 AM

Originally Posted by Imabadman

I think I'm in love.

What? I don't get it

Homegirl 50 · Jun 22, 2009, 08:54 AM

I don't think his ears are deaf. He is hurting, that is understandable. He's just just working through it. Give him a break!

Homegirl 50 · Jun 22, 2009, 08:55 AM

Originally Posted by AKeagle

what? i don't get it

Don't worry about it. You are going to be OK.
Just hang in there

talaniman · Jun 22, 2009, 09:04 AM

You may still be in shock, but that's no excuse for holding on to the false hope she will change her mind, I mean geez guy, you just said that she dumped you, and took EVERYTHING when she left.
Talaniman Rule- When you get dumped, have the dignity and self respect to revoke all of their relationship privileges. That means NO CONTACT.
You can't be that in love that you will give up your own dignity, and self respect, by leaving the door open for her, can you?

Imabadman · Jun 22, 2009, 09:13 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

You may still be in shock, but thats no excuse for holding on to the false hope she will change her mind, I mean geez guy, you just said that she dumped you, and took EVERYTHING when she left.
Talaniman Rule- When you get dumped, have the dignity and self respect to revoke all of their relationship privileges. That means NO CONTACT.
You can't be that in love that you will give up your own dignity, and self respect, by leaving the door open for her, can you??

Talanman, my thoughts exactly.

Listen OP, I know you're hurting. There's dozen of posts here telling you the same message. Yet you keep asking the same questions again and again because you don't like answer and/or it doesn't agree with the desperation behavior you're projecting. Acting out of desperation is NOT attractive. You will push her further away.

Right now you need to let go her. Move on with your life. There is no "What if's..." with this girl, only "What was...".

Hang in there buddy. Stay strong.

AKeagle · Jun 22, 2009, 09:15 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

You may still be in shock, but thats no excuse for holding on to the false hope she will change her mind, I mean geez guy, you just said that she dumped you, and took EVERYTHING when she left.
Talaniman Rule- When you get dumped, have the dignity and self respect to revoke all of their relationship privileges. That means NO CONTACT.
You can't be that in love that you will give up your own dignity, and self respect, by leaving the door open for her, can you??

I have been staying away from contact with her, the last piece of correspondence will be mailed out today. How am I leaving the door open for her? I got out all the time, and if I'm not doing that I'm sleeping or working, yeah I think about the situation at hand, its really hard to not, right after everything, but I make no actions on anything.

AKeagle · Jun 22, 2009, 09:19 AM

Originally Posted by Imabadman

Acting out of desperation is NOT attractive. You will push her further away.

I haven't made any actions towards her, she doesn't contact me, I don't contact her. How else could I be pushing her further away?

AKeagle · Jun 22, 2009, 11:37 AM

Well it has been sent, but of course I forgot the change of address package. It should be received in 3 days

Time will only tell.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 22, 2009, 11:41 AM

Just don't expect anything in return. In fact you will be better off if you don't hear from her.
Today is a new day. Start over from this second on.

I wish you well.

AKeagle · Jun 22, 2009, 11:43 AM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Just don't expect anything in return. In fact you will be better off if you don't hear from her.
Today is a new day. Start over from this second on.

I wish you well.

Thank you for the help and advice. I will post updates if anything changes

Homegirl 50 · Jun 22, 2009, 11:48 AM

I'll be here any time you need an ear.

AKeagle · Jun 24, 2009, 07:19 AM

DAY 13

Bad news

Last night I went to visit my grandparents after work, and my cousin was there. Come to find out that his weeding has been called off, because they are going through hard times. He has been with this girl for two and a half years, proposed at 1 year. They both live together at her mothers house (even after the break up), I talked to him about what had happened and suggested that he stays away from her as much as possible, NC. To let her work stuff out. I offered him a place to stay just so he could get up and leave to truly have NC. Its wrong to say, but it is nice to have someone close to me going through a similar situation. I think his is fixable.

As for my situation, there really isn't any update, I don't think mine is fixable anymore, she received the package I sent her yesterday.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 24, 2009, 07:47 AM

Well maybe this will help having some one around for a while, but you are going to be fine without her. Give yourself some time.
Hang in there young man

AKeagle · Jun 24, 2009, 07:58 AM

Yeah I know I'll be fine in the long term. It feels like she isn't even with this guy cause she wants to be, she just wants to rub it in. maybe I could be wrong. Even with all this, I keep laughing at the situation, as if I'm not even in it.

How does someone trust someone again, after thing? How are you to know that this person is the one, after the last person you felt was the one, pulled something like this?

Girl really do like the new relationship feeling, getting hugs and kisses all the time, and nice texts or VM.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 24, 2009, 08:43 AM

You can't be serious. You think she is with this guy to rub it in? That is crazy thinking. If she is with him, she is with him because she wants to be.
We don't like the "new relationship" feeling anymore than guys do. When something new and fresh comes along, guys often hop right on it.
But you should not stop doing those thing you did to get her, don't take her for granted and say "well I have her so I can stop holding her hands and doing nice things"
You're having a bad day, you're talking crazy.