[Kirai]

So it seems incredibly likely that he's going to have sex with her huh? Do you think he'll tell me upfront that he had sex with her or lie about it and say he didn't?

[chuff]

So it seems incredibly likely that he's gonna have sex with her huh? Do you think he'll tell me upfront that he had sex with her or lie about it and say he didn't?

Why does it matter, your not his girlfriend.

[artlady]

So it seems incredibly likely that he's gonna have sex with her huh? Do you think he'll tell me upfront that he had sex with her or lie about it and say he didn't?

You really need a crystal ball to answer that one.You know the guy,is he trustworthy,does he tell the truth regardless of the possible consequences?

Bottom line,if he does ,you can't undo it and if he lies ,you'll never know so it is really a waste of time to worry about it.

[liz28]

I don't know this guy so I can't say what he going do or if he is going to tell you. Do you really want to know? I guess so.

Why don't stop stressing over this guy. Is he the only guy in your town?

[talaniman]

Ask Me Help Desk - Search Results

Given your past history with this fellow, I hope you are not there when he comes back.

Clearly your relationship ain't no healthy relationship. For whatever reason your holding on, he is not, and knows whatever he does, you will take him back, and all is lovely.

That's crazy so stop the cycle, because he knows full well you will worry, and fret that he is with the ex, yet he does it anyway.

Break this cycle, why don't you.

INSANITY is repeating the same stuff over and over, and expecting different results.

That describes your relationship to a tee.

[Kirai]

Update

The last post I made was about my ex going to see his ex. After that, my ex came back to this country and sent me texts and called me everyday being all lovey dovey and saying he missed me. Seriously, he's sooo manipulative. I can see that now. I just thought he must have missed me but he was probably doing it because he had a guilty conscience. Anyway, we fell back into the old routine and Skyped every single day. When we were on Skype together one time, his friend was round his place and so he introduced me as his girlfriend. I was elated because he had never done that when we were going out and we weren't officially going out when he made that comment. But anyway it made me feel ecstatic and I felt like he was my boyfriend again. He kept saying to me, I really want to be your boyfriend again. I was so flattered. We booked a trip together and went away for 3 days, the theory of it being it would be a trial period to see if we should get back together. Things were going really well at that point and I felt happy with my life and him. The trip was amazing. He was so warm and friendly to me. He hugged me so tight as if he wanted to merge our bodies together. I'd never felt more wanted by him.
However after the trip we both go back to our respective cities. We still Skyped often however he stopped texting me altogether. Normally if I didn't go on Skype, I would get a text asking where I was. However he didn't seem to care that we went a few days at a time without speaking. I couldn't understand this because after the trip, I felt closer to him than ever. I wanted to text and call him 10 times as much however his contact seemed to be waning. Every time I did speak to him on Skype, he would make lewd comments about how I had a masterpiece down below etc. He made me feel so used and dirty like some kind of sexual object. I sent him a text one night telling him how angry I was and how I didn't want to be treated that way. He said he would call me but I kept having things get in the way so we couldn't speak until 2 days later. When I saw his face on Skype, I knew something was up. He's like Jekyll and Hyde - he has two personas. Well anyway he had this stone cold emotionless face on him. He said he's sorry but we should just be friends. We've been here before and we shouldn't be doing this again. That's all he said... no sweet things about how he would miss me or that we had a great trip together. No nothing. He was just stone cold and had this almost bored expression on his face. He kept fidgeting and not looking at the computer screen and I could tell he was dying to get away.

After all this I just don't understand what happened. How could we go from having such an amazing weekend in which we really connected to him being so heartless and cold? I just can't get my head around it. I've never seen anything quite like it. He was so scary. Just this complete expressionless, emotionless stone. Do you think I did something wrong? What do you think happened? I'd be grateful to hear your opinions.

Despite my depression and rejection right now, I can see that this is for the best. It's better if he is the one to finally say no because I seem to have no resolve whatsoever when it comes to this boy. At least now he will stop trying to worm his way back in hopefully. I just can't get over this feeling of utter rejection is all. I feel so played. Why do you think he became so cold with me?

[Kirai]

The thing is actually, I thought I had a good perspective on this whole relationship. I mean this relationship had a sell-by-date anyway. I'm leaving this country to go back to my country next year and so all I wanted to do was have a fantastic time with this boy before I left. Even though we were long distance we could take trips together and I could get to see more of this beautiful country with a boy I really like. Neither of us wanted marriage so I thought we could just make the most of our time together. However the reality of the situation was that I just couldn't take the relationship lightly enough. I always got too into him and that's when it became problematic. I started expecting him to call and text more etc and for him it didn't seem like a relationship was on the top of his priority list. He was always more concerned with his job, sports etc. In hindsight, we were on completely different pages.
Not to put the blame on him or anything but I think if he had contributed more and given more to the relationship like calling me more then we could have succeeded. I loved a lot of the parts involved in long distance relationships like posting stuff to each other and getting to spend concentrated bursts of time together when you do see each other. It made it all feel worthwhile. But then the neglect that came after was always heartbreaking.

[abid676]

Definitely he is going to have sex with her because 90% males not see her who is she they just want sex. If I'm there in place of your boyfriend then I also do sex with my ex--

[Gemini54]

However the reality of the situation was that I just couldn't take the relationship lightly enough. I always got too into him and that's when it became problematic.

I started expecting him to call and text more etc and for him it didn't seem like a relationship was on the top of his priority list. He was always more concerned with his job, sports etc. In hindsight, we were on completely different pages.

Not to put the blame on him or anything but I think if he had contributed more and given more to the relationship like calling me more then we could have succeeded.

Well that about says it all doesn't it? You wanted too much, he did too little.

It was never going to work and you both contributed to it.

[ajGambino]

Definately he is going to have sex with her bcz 90% males not see her who is she they just want sex. if i m there in place of your bf then i also do sex with my ex--

Dude, what are you doing... Don't go throwing comments like, "If I was there, I'd have sex with her." That's not helpful, you're just adding negativity. Go away.


Anyway, with everything going on, you're skeptical about him having sex with his ex. Obviously you feel that way for certain reasons and I think you know what those reasons are. If you know you can't trust him, why still be around to take him back? The real question is, can you trust him? I'm sure you know the answer, and there it is. You know what you should do.

He's not with you, and even though you might get worried about his actions, it shouldn't matter, you two aren't in a relationship. Seems like you guys are an on and off couple and like Tal said, if you guys keep repeating yourself with break up/make up drama, insanity will settle in, thus making you unaware of what you need to do for yourself.


Instead of worrying about him, worry about yourself and how to build confidence and self respect. It is long past due.

[makapuu]

If he had sex with one ex (you), my guess is that he'd have sex with the ex he is staying with also.
You may think that he is your boyfriend, but what is he thinking? He may just be looking for a warm bed someplace.

[Vinj]

Guys... please read again... Kirai got some updates already.

So Kirai, you guys together now (boyfriend and girlfriend)

[Torrid13]

1.)You're not his girlfriend.

2.)He doesn't have a girlfriend.

3.)Therefore, he is single and can have sex with whoever he wants. Which apparently at one time is you (notice the word "relationship" is not included).

4.)He'll be overseas. Refer back to #3.

5.)If he was worried about ruining his chances with you, he'd ask you out so you wouldn't have to wonder.

6.) He's using you.

7.)Let the ex have him, run away, and find someone that is actually interested in a committed relationship with you. And don't contact your ex again.

8.)Have a nice day.

[Torrid13]

He became cold because he doesn't care about you anymore, Sweetheart. He's a Faggy McFaggins. A douchebag. A jerk. A bicycle with one wheel.

Heal your heart: go NC, and be thankful you were able to spot his one-wheeledness.

[Kirai]

Threads merged


Hey, I deleted my ex from Facebook a few hours ago. I just couldn't stand the obsession I had with checking his profile all the time. It was driving me up the wall! Especially since it hurt so much every time he would write status updates about how he was meeting cute girls etc. It was like a dagger through my heart every single time. He seemed to be moving on so quickly yet I was still missing him like crazy. But now, I'm starting to have second thoughts. Was it the right thing to do deleting him from Facebook? I've got this horrible sense of guilt and now I've logged onto skype for the first time in ages and am waiting for him to come online so I can apologise (even though this means breaking no contact and I haven't spoken to him for two weeks). I'm quite pathetic really. Can you please reassure me that deleting him was the right thing to do? I'm going crazy here.

[NeedKarma]

Ya done good. :)

[Boristheblade]

Absolutely, you have no reason to apologise to him over taking the steps necessary for you to heal. It was the right thing to do. Have no doubt about that.

[amicon]

Yes delete everything, don't keep any reminders.
And you don't owe him anything.

[I wish]

Hey, I deleted my ex from facebook a few hours ago. I just couldn't stand the obsession I had with checking his profile all the time. It was driving me up the wall!! Especially since it hurt so much every time he would write status updates about how he was meeting cute girls etc. It was like a dagger through my heart every single time. He seemed to be moving on so quickly yet I was still missing him like crazy.

Just before you mentioned "second thoughts", you already stated to us all the reasons you should delete him from Facebook.

But now, I'm starting to have second thoughts. Was it the right thing to do deleting him from facebook?

Let us reassure you as to why you deleted him in the first place. It's so that you can heal. Until you've fully recovered from this break up, it's better not to have him on Facebook (i.e. see the reasons you've listed yourself).

I've got this horrible sense of guilt and now I've logged onto skype for the first time in ages and am waiting for him to come online so I can apologise (even though this means breaking no contact and I haven't spoken to him for two weeks).

BAD IDEA, hopefully we're not too late. DO NOT GO ON SKYPE. What you should actually do is delete him from your contact list on skype too. Talking to him will add to the confusion, give you false hope and make you over-analyze everything he says, which will prolong the pain and suffering.

STICK TO NO CONTACT!

I'm quite pathetic really. Can you please reassure me that deleting him was the right thing to do? I'm going crazy here.

Of course it's not pathetic. You're only following the no contact rules. Here's some more reassurance (all the rules): https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...qs-332732.html