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    chica87's Avatar
    chica87 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jun 3, 2009, 09:50 PM
    Marriage and young
    Is it okay to marry my boyfriend who is 18 and I am 22.
    mudweiser's Avatar
    mudweiser Posts: 2,750, Reputation: 707
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    #2

    Jun 3, 2009, 10:00 PM

    It's legal.

    However think about the following things:
    -Are you in school? Are you going to college or finishing college?
    -Will you live together or move in with his parents or him move over to your parents?
    -How do you and his parents get along? Or vise versa?
    -Are you financially prepared?
    -Are you protecting yourself from having children- or are you planning to have children soon?
    -What are your goals? Are you both on the same page?
    -How do you argue? Do you cool it off with sex, talking, name calling, leaving and staying no contact for days? How do you deal with situations.

    There are a lot of things to consider when it comes to marrying someone. I believe it's best that you wait. Wait to finish school. Wait for some time to spread your wings a little. You don't want to jump ship to find out that you just dove into the eye of a hurricane.

    Good luck.

    Sarah
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
    Uber Member
     
    #3

    Jun 3, 2009, 10:23 PM

    Hi, chica87!

    Yes, getting married is a huge step in people's lives that takes much preparation and planning.

    What mudweiser has asked of you are some excellent questions that I hope that you'll give some very careful thought as to how you might answer them and prepare yourself for marriage.

    Thanks!
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #4

    Jun 4, 2009, 05:44 AM

    What's the rush? You obviously agree (somewhere in your heart or brain) that this might be too young or else you wouldn't be asking this question.

    So, if you two loved each other that much, then you will get married later anyway. Why not wait until you're more comfortable with the idea?
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #5

    Jun 4, 2009, 04:47 PM

    Marriage is easy to get into but hard and expensive to get out of.

    Yes all of us females what to walk down the aisle and been planning our big day since childhood but as you grow up you realize things aren't that easy.

    Now your boyfriend is only 18 and have a lot of living to do. Maybe the two of you should wait until the two of you are settling into your careers, your credit is build up (to good), have live together, and explore life. Not saying you should end your relationship but let the foundation get strong and let relationship grow and continue learning about each other.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #6

    Jun 6, 2009, 01:14 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by chica87 View Post
    Is it okay to marry my boyfriend who is 18 and i am 22.
    WHY do you ask??
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
    Uber Member
     
    #7

    Jun 6, 2009, 03:00 PM

    I do hope that chica87 will return to respond here!
    maligreg00's Avatar
    maligreg00 Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    Jun 11, 2009, 11:02 AM
    I would never tell anyone not to get married; but just realize that the person you are at 18 is not the same person you will be at 30 and the same applied to him. When you're married your wants and needs tend to go the back for the sake of the marriage. Do you want to go to college? What if you can't because there are too many bill and you can't afford it. Do you want children? What if he wants to move away? All of these questions you should think about because a wife is expected to follow her husband. Will it be hard for you to see your friends party and hang out with no responsibilities and you have to answer to your husband? If after all this you still would like to get married, please get counseling first. In marriage counseling all of these questions will come up and they will teach you how to cope.

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