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mudweiser · Apr 17, 2009, 09:27 AM

I have one that happened to a good friend:

She's quite a prude [a total polar opposite of me]. Her and her fiancée were getting down and dirty for the first time- she usually lays there like a pancake. She was a little drunk and also had Indian food that night. While getting a double take of a vibrator and his manhood [yea I know WOW] she said she felt a slight pressure an just let out a fart. She ended up having a major case of diarrhea and basically sh--t all over him. Her fiancée was so disgusted he actually vomited everywhere, including on himself and her.

That my friend is probably one of the worst sexual experiences I have ever heard.

Eww [mental images]

Sarah

liz28 · Apr 17, 2009, 09:29 AM

That's why I stand away from having sex with a guy that is drunk because they have the ability to stay hard forever. I call it a "drunken di¢k" because it don't know when to go low. Even if the guy is tired.

I wonder does this happens to all drunk guys. Hmm!

ISneezeFunny · Apr 17, 2009, 08:46 PM

liz28:

Yes. Yes it does.

However, if the guy's ridiculously drunk, then no, it's hard to get it at... attention.

You got to have the right amount of "drunk"...

liz28 · Apr 25, 2009, 07:34 PM

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

liz28:

yes. yes it does.

however, if the guy's ridiculously drunk, then no, it's hard to get it at...attention.

You gotta have the right amount of "drunk"...

Interesting so what is the right amount of " drunk" Hehe!

Catsmine · Apr 26, 2009, 03:39 AM

Age is a factor as well. At 19 about 6 shots and a smoke and it was all night long. At 25 with 10 shots it was no go. Now I don't drink.

liz28 · Apr 27, 2009, 06:02 PM

Originally Posted by Catsmine

Age is a factor as well. At 19 about 6 shots and a smoke and it was all night long. At 25 with 10 shots it was no go. Now I don't drink.

How many shots does a 36 year old have to drink?

Gemini54 · Apr 27, 2009, 06:39 PM

Well, this didn't actually happen to me but to a close friend.

She's a gorgeous girl and likes to have a good time - she's out one evening at the local nightclub, having a few drinks and a few dances. Meets up with a guy - good looking, nicely built, but dances a bit weird. They hit it off, laughing and drinking. Both end up drinking a bit too much and catch a taxi to his place.

Play around for a bit then head for the bedroom. Lights go out, get into bed, things get hot and heavy... then she hears a huge thump/clunk. "What was that" she asks - "er, that was my wooden leg", he answers.

Sort of put a dampener on the foreplay she said...

none12345 · Apr 27, 2009, 06:41 PM

Originally Posted by Gemini54

Well, this didn't actually happen to me but to a close friend.

She's a gorgeous girl and likes to have a good time - she's out one evening at the local nightclub, having a few drinks and a few dances. Meets up with a guy - good looking, nicely built, but dances a bit wierd. They hit it off, laughing and drinking. Both end up drinking a bit too much and catch a taxi to his place.

Play around for a bit then head for the bedroom. Lights go out, get into bed, things get hot and heavy.... then she hears a huge thump/clunk. "What was that" she asks - "er, that was my wooden leg", he answers.

Sort of put a dampener on the foreplay she said....

lol sounds kind of fake =P

Gemini54 · Apr 27, 2009, 06:50 PM

Originally Posted by none12345

lol sounds kinda fake =P

It isn't! Trust me, we talked about it for ages afterwards.

excon · Apr 27, 2009, 07:52 PM

Originally Posted by Gemini54

"What was that" she asks - "er, that was my wooden leg", he answers

Hello again:

I don't know. I had a girl with a wooden leg once. Didn't mind it at all. In fact, it was pretty good. Had nothing to do with her stump, though.

excon

Xrayman · Apr 27, 2009, 09:13 PM

Brings a whole new meaning to the term "I have some real wood going on down there..."

Triysle · May 7, 2009, 11:20 AM

I won't go into details, but let's just say doggy-style and Irritable Bowel Syndrome are not a good combination.

~ Tee

nikosmom · May 7, 2009, 11:38 AM

Originally Posted by Triysle

I won't go into details, but let's just say doggy-style and Irritable Bowel Syndrome are not a good combination.

~ Tee

Shouldn't have read this after lunch... :(

liz28 · May 7, 2009, 12:05 PM

Originally Posted by nikosmom

Shouldn't have read this after lunch... :(

I hope you was able to hold your lunch down. Hehe

shazamataz · May 7, 2009, 12:35 PM

My worst would probably be one new years eve...
We went on a holiday down the coast and my partner and I were drunk off our heads and we decided to go to a walk down to a park.

We found a big cement wall to do out 'thing' behind
All was good, had lots of fun...

We drove past the next morning and realised that the "big" wall was actually only a foot high and the park was littered with beer bottles from party goers...

Apparently there was a big party there that night... we didn't notice them but I'm sure a few people noticed us!!

BlackVY · May 7, 2009, 05:51 PM

Originally Posted by shazamataz

My worst would probably be one new years eve...
We went on a holiday down the coast and my partner and I were drunk off our heads and we decided to go to a walk down to a park.

We found a big cement wall to do out 'thing' behind
All was good, had lots of fun...

We drove past the next morning and realised that the "big" wall was actually only a foot high and the park was littered with beer bottles from party goers...

Apparently there was a big party there that night... we didn't notice them but I'm sure a few people noticed us!!!!

Haha... don't tell me it was schoolies week?

That would have been crazy, little hign school kids watching. Bet they got more than they expect to see at schoolies... Lol!

Catsmine · May 7, 2009, 06:22 PM

Honk if you love Liz' new icon!

Liz, at 36 I was married and had kids. Shots didn't matter, just time!

My real worst was when the 14 year old self styled "Supervirgin" barged in and proceeded to deliver three acts of teenage drama while we were naked.

Catsmine · May 7, 2009, 07:08 PM

Yes, Liz, the drama was about us being naked.

Most of the dialogue was "Eww!"

shazamataz · May 8, 2009, 01:51 AM

Haha, I can just imagine the look on their faces XD

RaenieStar · May 10, 2009, 02:49 AM

Ugh... I have one. It's actually kind of gross. ><

I have a medical issue to where I'm not able to have children, or have a menstrual cycle. Any guy I've dated intimately always doubts me when I tell them about this medical thing, which I usually try to explain before we get too serious. Well, the normal reaction is for the guy to think I'm lying, or pretending. Or at least be a little suspicious. Kind of like a girl telling a guy she's on birth control when she's not.

Though he did express the initial doubt, this boyfriend was pretty happy to find out he was dating a woman that didn't have a week off every month, lol.

So about 2 months into our relationship, we were having an intimate night at his apartment. He was using his fingers on me, and he got a little rough. After a while, it started to feel raw, so I suggested we have sex.

The lights were off. He grabbed a tissue, and wiped off his hands. Right at that moment, the doorbell rang, and his phone went off at the same time. It was his roommate, who forgot his keys.

So he throws on some shorts and a shirt in the dark, and runs out to let him in. Afterwards, he went into the bathroom, and stayed there for a really long time.

I was agonizing over the awkward interruption, and wondering what the holdup was when I rolled over in the bed. I saw the tissue in the waste basket, covered with blood. I had time for my eyes to widen, when my boyfriend walked into the bedroom with a VERY pissed off look on his face.

Long story short... after a very bad night of me freaking out, and trying to prove I wasn't a liar, I challenged him to come to my doctor with me so we could find out what was going on.

I explained to the gynecologist what we were doing when this happened. She examined me, and then simply turned to him, and said, "looks like you need to cut your fingernails, sir." Smiled at me, advised me the nurse will be back in with some treatment, and left the room.

We're still together, lol.