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friend4u178 · Mar 23, 2009, 08:00 PM

Yes it's wrong , you are cheating Emotionally on your wife simple as that.

Why don't you use your energy trying to fix the sexual problems in your marriage. Have you even tried rather than sitting around being bored??

Alty · Mar 23, 2009, 08:04 PM

Get a hobby, get 10, then you won't be bored. Emailing sexually explicit emails to other women is not a hobby!

This is wrong, not only because your wife doesn't know about it but because deep down you know you would make it physical if the girl was available to you. Read your emails, when we said that the miles between you can be crossed, you didn't say it wouldn't happen, you said you're too broke to make it happen.

Either focus on your marriage or get a divorce and then you can mess around with anyone you want.

friend4u178 · Mar 23, 2009, 08:08 PM

And then you post this..?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...rl-333026.html

Alty · Mar 23, 2009, 08:10 PM

Good work M!

Scott, we often read the other threads posted by newcomers, just so we get the bigger picture.

So, when are you going to take that next step and actually cheat on your wife? It's going to happen if you keep this up.

Do you want to lose your wife? If so, then go for it, but do her one favor first, let her go so she can find someone who will commit to her fully.

nikosmom · Mar 23, 2009, 08:11 PM

Originally Posted by friend4u178

And then you post this.............???????

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...rl-333026.html

Nice detective work, Friend... Further confirms the point Alten made... that it could happen if it were a woman that's available to him

starbuck8 · Mar 23, 2009, 08:38 PM

I fully agree with the others. Talking with another woman in a sexual nature, and hiding it from your wife is definitely cheating! Your marriage has some HUGE communication issues. You've been asked several questions, and you haven't answered them. How come? Do you not have the answers. The simplest answer should have been... how long have you been married?

It's obvious from your other post, that you will take this further with other women. If given the chance, you would not only jump at it, you would do backflips do get there. How did you think everyone of us knew this even before viewing your other post. It's typical behaviour of a cheater.

Why are you being so selfish? Do you not think that there are thousands of men out there that get a little sexually frustrated when their wives are busy as hell with the kids and the home, and they are likely dead tired at the end of the day?

Think about your wife and children, and stop thinking this is all about you. This is NOT just about you! Do you know the lives you will effect by acting out your fantasies? The least of which, being your CHILDREN? It's time to grow up and take responsibility like a real man would.

Worrying about a co-workers glance or smile, or some little online trollup, is just childish. The only childish things you should be doing, should involve playing with your children, and promising them that Daddy will not let some silly fantasies ruin his marriage with mommy.

Focus on making the relationship with your wife better, by working on it. Do you ever give her a day off from the kids? Do you help around the house, to make her load lighter? Do you arrange for date nights with her away from the kids? There is many things you can do if you try.

Time to man up buddy!

scottmc77 · Mar 23, 2009, 08:43 PM

Originally Posted by starbuck8

I fully agree with the others. Talking with another woman in a sexual nature, and hiding it from your wife is definitely cheating! Your marriage has some HUGE communication issues. You've been asked several questions, and you haven't answered them.

It's obvious from your other post, that you will take this further with other women. If given the chance, you would not only jump at it, you would do backflips do get there. How did you think everyone of us knew this even before viewing your other post. It's typical behaviour of a cheater.

Why are you being so selfish? Do you not think that there are thousands of men out there that get a little sexually frustrated when their wives are busy as hell with the kids and the home, and they are likely dead tired at the end of the day?

Think about your wife and children, and stop thinking this is all about you. This is NOT just about you! Do you know the lives you will effect by acting out your fantasies? The least of which, being your CHILDREN? It's time to grow up and take responsibility like a real man would.

Worrying about a co-workers glance or smile, or some little online trollup, is just childish. The only childish things you should be doing, should involve playing with your children, and promising them that Daddy will not let some silly fantasies ruin his marriage with mommy.

Focus on making the relationship with your wife better, by working on it. Do you ever give her a day off from the kids? Do you help around the house, to make her load lighter? Do you arrange for date nights with her away from the kids? There is many things you can do if you try.

Time to man up buddy!

I do everything you said and more, I do more housework than you could possible know, I am constantly cooking and cleaning and doing the yards and fixing cars etc. Also I have never had a physical affair in my entire life.can't have date nights because my wife won't live the kids with a babysitter. Also I have never had a physical affair in my entire life.

talaniman · Mar 23, 2009, 09:00 PM

Why haven't you told your wife about your new hobby? Is that fear of the consequences? She may surprise you, and find you some help, because she would know how sick you really are.

Synnen · Mar 24, 2009, 06:04 AM

Originally Posted by scottmc77

What to do with the boredom?? Except it??

How about using it to spice up your MARRIAGE?

Choux · Mar 24, 2009, 07:48 AM

I think you and your wife should go to a therapist who specialized in sexual aspects of marriage. Get your needs out and listen to what your wife's needs are.

I don't think a man has to be stuck with a wife who is a sexual dud and genuine complainer for the rest of his life. Who can stand that?

Be adults, work out an arrangement. :)

jfporter · Mar 27, 2009, 02:43 PM

Get check for add I don't mean that in a joking manner either

liz28 · Mar 30, 2009, 01:53 PM

Yes, what your considering doing is cheating the new way "cyber cheating" because your engaging in sexual act regardless if it isn't physical.

Maybe in your spare time you should go to the sex shop because they have a variety of dolls, fake vaginas, etc

Or you can release your sexual tension the old fashion way by masterbating to a dirty magazine or porn.

In closing I must add, talk to your wife and maybe your sex life will increase. Sometimes us females say no but when your are laying down in the bed and if you rub her the right way the answer can change. Do things that she like and most of the time foreplay work.

liz28 · Mar 30, 2009, 01:58 PM

Originally Posted by jfporter

get check for add I dont mean that in a joking manner either

Are you telling him to get an escort?

Justwantfair · Mar 30, 2009, 02:18 PM

I believe that is ADD - Attention Defecit Disorder.

JoeCanada76 · Mar 30, 2009, 03:01 PM

Add is a possibility.

smoothy · Mar 30, 2009, 03:22 PM

That's a damn sure way to find yourself in an affair one day without actually trying.

shatteredsoul · Mar 31, 2009, 07:47 AM

I don't think you are a bad guy, but you are selfish and bored. You aren't really invested in making your marriage better and it seems as if you are using this "emotional affair" to escape your financial burdens. I understand you might be dealing with a lot of stress and going home to kids and a wife who isn't ready to get down and dirty for you when you want it, isn't fun. BUT, please realize that you are making the intentional choice to move towards having a physical affair and then there is no turning back. If you believe you have a chance with her, there are many ways to make your life together more fulfilling and enjoyable.
I bet you don't think outside the box. You don't take her anywhere spontaneously. You could do so much with this marriage and you are ready to go down a completely different path. Make your choice, respect your wife and live a life with integrity. If you don't want a marriage and family, be straight about it and let her have her own life. Don't drag her down this road with you. She deserves more than that. Try to get involved with things you like to do. You can do things that don't cost money too. Maybe take up a hobbie together, take her to an adult store and have her pick something out. Rent a movie or go to the beach or the park. Plan the babysitter and do it for her, maybe she will be happy and want to go out more. Getting out of your routine will be good. She might be bored too and maybe she is just too consumed with the kids and the house to go start an affair. Or maybe she just is happy with being your wife and the mother of your kids and doesn't even realize you are so unhappy. Are you really that unhappy? Sometimes I think our culture is so saturated with sexual images of women that men start to think that is the only thing to value or enjoy about a woman. I bet your wife is an incredible lady and you have just forgotten how to appreciate all the other things a women can offer you and excite you with.